Forward, Into the Past ~ Wardrobe and "The Ladies"

Welcome to 2015.  I have a kind of long post for all of you hung over readers, but I think it's worth it.

I would like to build a little Renfest wardrobe for future visits.  My problems with this are (a) the clothes take a lot of closet space for a once-a-year excursion, (b) they're expensive, (c) I'd only have an outfit or two and I don't want to keep wearing the same thing every year, and (d) did you see the prices?

The basic women's outfit is skirt, underskirt, chemise, and bodice (or corset).  Shoes or boots are required.

I probably have skirts I can use for a regular skirt and underskirt.

The typical chemise has a wide elastic (clearly not authentic) collar which can be pulled down to expose shoulders and cleavage.  They come in a wide variety of colours, but unless you buy a basic colour you'll limit your choice of skirt(s).  White is very popular.

Meg and Charity at the faire

I did not buy a chemise.

 The bodice is like a corset but not strapless ~ it laces front and back (usually), sides (sometimes), and on shoulders (top or front and back, again, optional).  It is boned, and it pushes up your breasts to display copious amounts of cleavage, if it's worn right.

The first shoppe where I looked at bodices they were $65 and $95.  I made a note of where it was and thought I might drop by on my way out.  I did not.

The next shoppe had bodices from about $90 to $130, depending on style and material.  So they were a bit pricier, but they were also reversible.  That meant, potentially, I'm adding two bodice choices to my wardrobe for minimal closet space and expense.  I liked that.

I found one I liked and we started talking to a salesgirl.

She gave no hint that I was anything other than I appeared, which was perfect.

She spoke about the virtue of one style which she showed her parents and her mother said "you have boobs!" (In what she was wearing she looked either very flat or very squished.)

That's not something a woman would talk about with a strange man ~ even one who she was trying to sell something to.  I think.

She suggested I try on a couple of different styles and I agreed.  Then she said what I thought was a deal-breaker:

"You'll have to go into the dressing area and take off your bra."

I was trying to figure out a diplomatic way to say "the boobs go with the bra" or, more likely, to decline because I'd rather enjoy the Faire than take off the dress and put it back on, when Charity asked "why?"  She said the wires in the bra are a problem and we assured her the bra had none.

We agreed on a style and she started adjusting the laces so I could try it on.  She wrapped it around me and loosened the back a bit so it would fit better and started lacing up the front.

Then she told me to cross my arms and put my right hand on my left boob and left hand on my right boob (under my dress) so I could support "the ladies" (her term).

I tried not to laugh as I did this.  I mean, this may or may not be something that women do and I didn't want it to seem like this was a completely new experience.  Also, holding on to the ladies while she was lacing meant I could keep them in place.

I pulled up "the ladies" as directed and she laced me in.  I asked Charity to get a picture of me in that awkward position but the saleslady said they had a deal with the photo place next door to not allow pictures.  It occurred to me later that I should have said "I'm going to buy one so it's a picture of me in my chemise" and I probably could have gotten that photo.

My dress, as you can see, is not at all revealing which saved some embarrassment since the forms stayed more-or-less in place and definitely hidden from view.

I tried on two in different styles and went through the same routine each time.

I picked a third in the same size to purchase.  She asked if I wanted her to lace me in so I could wear it for the rest of the day but I declined.  I was a bit worried about "the ladies" getting squished or, worse, broken.  The forms I normally wear out are basically bags of liquid and definitely breakable. Damage would have been weird, embarrassing, and expensive.

She still gave no indication that she knew the ladies were, in fact, adopted.

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I found a bunch of New Years cartoons. Unfortunately, most weren't even remotely funny. Ah well. Here's a couple of the best anyway.

Something New Has Been Added!

Care to guess what it is? :)

This is "Minimal Meg."  More coming up.

Another Shirt Fail

About yesterday's post: Jen asked if I thought anyone noticed.  I really didn't care.  I liked the fact that I could easily tell, and next time I'll check, but I didn't care, and I will continue to not care.

Also, today is the first tights day of the season.  Not so much because it's that cold, but I don't have socks that match my shirt and I have tights that are close.

I have a shirt I really like.  It's a button-down LL Bean shirt that is striped, as many men's shirts are, but with some subtle pastel colours.  It has a pocket; many women's shirts do not but I don't think anyone's attention has been drawn to that.  It's the only shirt I've ever worn that someone has complimented me on.

And it's "heavy enough" that I can wear anything I want underneath.  Almost.  I don't think I could get away with, say, a black cami, but white, pink, beige, light purple vanish underneath.

To answer an e-mail question on yesterday's post, yes if I bend down you can see the straps through pretty much any shirt I wear.  As I mentioned yesterday nobody looks for bra straps on a guy.  I don't worry about when I'm, say, leaning over a sink in the loo.

A couple of weeks ago, I was wearing that shirt with a bra and pink strappy cami underneath.  I had an after-work mission.  I had to pick up Charity at the airport and then get groceries.

I went to the cell phone waiting area and did whatever it is people do there (pretty much "wait until the arriving passenger calls"). 

I needed a tissue.  I keep a box in the back seat.

I reached into the back seat and heard a tear.

I looked down and saw that the shirt sleeve had torn.  Not the seam, but opposite the seam where the pleat is when you iron a shirt (or if it's wrinkle-resistant, as this one was).

The tear went from shoulder to elbow.

If one would make an effort, my underthings were visible.  If one didn't, they weren't.

It was a cool morning and I wore a jacket.  I thought I could just put my jacket on, even though the day had warmed up a bit, and that would be that.

Except I dropped my jacket off at the office cleaners that morning to have a torn pocket repaired and have it cleaned.  No jacket.

When Charity called, I said I had "a slight tear in my shirt.  You probably won't even notice it."
Somehow, she noticed.

I thought of going home to change first but again, no-one's looking at a guy's undergarments.  I stuck to schedule.

The shirt is now a button source and dustrag but I REALLY liked that shirt.

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Check Front AND Back

Last Friday, I followed the same routine I do most days before I go to work.

I check the shirt I'll be wearing.

If it's heavy "enough," I put on a bra and camisole under my shirt.

If not, I put on a bra and tank top, often a white tank top if I don't have one that more-or-less matches the shirt.

After I put on the cami or tank I check in the mirror to make sure it's even and the bra straps are (at least mostly) under the other straps.  I adjust as necessary.

But right before I was leaving I looked in the mirror, front and back and this style tank clearly did not hide the bra straps.  The went way wide of the tank back and were easily visible.

I don't worry about odd tanks, like if they're racerbacks or something.  Under a shirt they're mostly not noticable.  But this was different.

It was time to go.  I could change shirts but it occurred to me that nobody looks to see if a guy's bra straps are showing.  Girls' straps, yes.  Guys, no.

I went to work.

But I'll check front and back in the future.

(ps, Friday the 13th falls on a Monday this month!  Be careful.)

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Be Careful Out There!

After I returned from my beach trip a month ago, I reluctantly went to work the following day.  I did stay dressed as long as I could, to stretch out my world-record-Meg-time.

We have a morning meeting every week whether we need it or not, and during the meeting I rubbed my eye.  I glanced at my finger which had flecks of black on it.  Uh-oh.

I checked my eyes in the bathroom mirror after the meeting ~ I did a HORRIBLE job of removing my eye makeup the night before!  There were dots of mascara on my lashes and liner on my lower lids.

Ah well.

I didn't avoid people, although I don't know what I'd say if anyone asked "are you wearing eye makeup?"  I thought I might buy a few seconds of thinking time if someone asked "do I see eye makeup on you?" by replying "I don't know.  You might be hallucinating.  Do you have a history of that?"

Along the same line, yesterday I was wearing a thinish blue shirt today.  I check before I go out (or try to) and I wore a bra (one that kind of fits the little I have) and a blue tank top under the shirt to cover the thinner straps.

I try to check to ensure the bra is on properly and the straps are covered.  Yesterday, I not only forgot I really should have checked.  In the mirror at work, from the back, there was clearly the tank top portion (normal-looking for a guy) and the thin bra strap nearby.

I say again ~ ah well.  The worst that can happen is, it'll start a conversation.  The best that can happen is, it'll start a conversation.

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Don't Ask, Can't Tell: Oh, The Agony

I've written a few times about what I call "don't ask, can't tell."  These are things we can't talk about because our lives are compartmentalised.  With my civilian friends, I can't talk about most of what I did at the beach.  With my trans friends, I can't talk about aspects of my job or family.

I did something that is causing me pain in both upper arms, and some mobility limitations.  It started in my right arm and then wandered over to the left one.  It will pop and hurt and not move in certain directions.  It's not my shoulder ~ it's kind of in the middle between my elbow and shoulder, which doesn't even make sense to me.  I'd expect joint pain, not between-joint pain.

Last week, walking to my cube, an officemate was standing, stretching his arms and twisting.  We spoke about how it can be a pain (literally) to get old and he explained his problem and I explained mine.  I finished by saying "I think I have some more mobility now."  But I had to bite my tongue instead of finishing that thought with "yesterday, I could put my bra on by reaching around instead of turning it and fastening it and turning it afterwards."

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Something New!

Typical molded bra

During my short trip to the beach a few weeks ago, I found a lingerie store.  They had a wide variety of "bra bags."  I had no idea what this was for.  It came in two sizes, normal and Oh My God.  Apparently, they're for packing "molded bras," something I was also unfamiliar with.

I don't have any molded bras.  I don't have any plans to purchase any.  But the way I pack my forms is awkward.  I wrote about this before.

Basically, I keep them in the box they came in, which has molded plastic inserts fitted tightly into a cardboard box.  I put the form in the box and turn the insert over so it can sit tightly on the form.  Then I put other clothes and such into the boxes so I have less empty space in my luggage and so the inserts don't shift and get damaged.

The forms I prefer are basically a bag with liquid(ish) silicon inside.  Break a bag and buy a new form.  My forms are the most expensive items of girl stuff I own.  Nothing else comes close.

Bra bag varieties.  The final six are "panty packs"

A few times I just packed the forms into plastic bags and then carefully into my clothing.  That's not good enough.  While the airport gorillas were tossing about my luggage duing one trip, one broke.  Thankfully, this was both on the way home and confined to the plastic bag.  When I last looked, they were still useable, but I should seal that hole.  For all I know, by now the one with the hole has completely emptied.  I haven't checked.  I bought a new pair.

So the idea of a bag I could put the forms in was tempting.  They had several different patterns and styles but I weighed the plusses and minuses....

Plus: they would keep the forms in place and hopefully allow them to travel unharmed.
Plus: it's smaller than the box.

Minus: they'd still need some packing material to ensure they stayed still, same as the box.
Minus: they're sort of pricey.

And the deciding factor: I don't travel anymore.  If I change jobs, I'll revisit.

Besides, I know the absolute best way to take your forms with you:

Stick them in a bra and wear them.

If you want to learn more about molded bras, see below.

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Copied from about.com:

WHAT'S A MOLDED BRA?

A molded bra - or, more accurately, a bra with molded cups - is exactly as it sounds. This style bra is made by a machine that forms the cups around a mold, using heat - so they hold their shape. And, molded cups are made from synthetic fibers.

DOES A MOLDED BRA HAVE...


• PADDING? It can, but then it isn't just a molded bra - it's called a contour style bra with a molded cup.
  A molded bra cup is also typically unlined - but it can also be lined, depending on the brand.


• SEAMS? Sometimes. A molded bra is most often seamless, but some styles can have seams in the cups, which will provide extra support, although it is rare. The bra shown on this page has molded cups with seams.


• UNDERWIRE? It can. Molded cups are designed to hold their shape without underwire, and you'll find them in some wire-free bras. But, there are also plenty of molded bra styles that do have underwire, like the one shown by Cosabella.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BRA HAS MOLDED CUPS
Molded bra cups will keep their shape. So when you pick up a molded bra, the cups will look rounded.

Several bra styles can have molded cups, like padded bras, contour bras and T-shirt bras.

BENEFITS OF WEARING A MOLDED BRA
Molded cups are designed to help shape your body, since most women aren't perfectly "rounded". (Let's face it - "round" and "perky" doesn't always go hand-in-hand with "real" body shapes.)

BEST BODY TYPE FOR A MOLDED BRA
Molded bras come in all sizes. There are some positive aspects, as well as some negative features of this bra style, relative to your size.

Women who wear a small cup size might like the extra shaping a molded bra cup provides - but, often a contour cup will be even more flattering.

Women who wear a large cup size may like that a molded bra offers some shaping without bulky padding.

THE CONS: FEATURES SOME WOMEN DON'T LIKE ABOUT MOLDED BRAS
Some women may find that since a molded bra has cups that are pre-formed in a specific shape, this style bra doesn't always match up with their natural body shape.

WHEN TO WEAR A MOLDED BRA
A molded bra is a great style to wear everyday, if it's a style that fits your body type. It is a bra style that works well with all types of clothing - from a clingy t-shirt, to a fancy dress.

This style bra is also perfect for a special occasion, because you can find one with pretty details like a fancy lace overlay.

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Simple Pleasure ~ Adjustments

Today I have a hint.

If you're just starting out with underdressing and decide it's possible to stretch the envelope a bit with a camisole (or bra) under a heavy shirt so no-one can see it, keep in mind:

* really.  No-one can see it.  (ie, 100% safe)
* If they pat you on the back or shoulder they might notice, but I doubt it.  But they might.  (85% safe)
* and here's the important bit: at some point, the strap will slip.  It may happen several times during the course of the day.  And THERE IS NO MALE EQUIVALENT OR WAY TO EXPLAIN IT WHEN YOU REACH INSIDE YOUR SHIRT TO PULL THAT STRAP BACK UP.  So just live with it until you're alone.  Because someone will notice that. (oops)

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Simple Pleasure ~ Lesson Learned

With a little practice, it's fairly easy to take off your bra without removing your shirt.

Putting on your bra without removing your shirt... not so easy.

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I just found this essay in Cosmopolitan by Laura Jane Grace.  The intro:

Last year, punk rocker Tom Gabel astonished his fans and the music industry alike by announcing he was becoming a woman and changing his famous name to Laura Jane Grace. Here, an exclusive account of a remarkable journey.

No, I Don't Think So

Marian responded to my wearing-a-padded-bra-all-week post by asking if I was trying to get caught.  I don't know if I'm introspective enough to answer that question, so I'll address some more surface motives instead.

I'd like to appear as feminine as possible.  I don't mean androgynous.  I mean feminine.  Sometimes, my appearance might be interpreted as androgynous, but that's not my goal.

There are some obvious clues.

I don't think I've met any other men who wear charm bracelets.  The ring I wear daily is definitely a women's ring.  My socks often have flowers or other designs, or are in a colour you won't find in The Men's Shop.  I carry a "patent leather" tote (it's really vinyl, but we're discussing looks).  Actually, my patent tote is falling apart so I bought a new, slightly larger, black tote.  When I bought it, the woman in the store wanted to put it in a bag.  I said "I can just carry it."  She paused, looked surprised, and giggled and "OK."  I guess that means she's not used to Men Carrying Purses (even if they're not really).

I sometimes wear patterned or brightly coloured tights.  I don't imagine there are many guys in the office wearing a pink or purple shirt and matching tights.

What prompted the question, though, is a week of wearing a bra under my shirt.  I should measure.  I suspect it gave me an A or A+ bust.  I also made sure that the bra (or the cami over it) did not show through my shirt.  I checked in a mirror from every angle I could think of.  I hunched over and checked my back, and if it showed when I really tightened the material but no other time, it was deemed acceptable.  I thrust out my chest, and if it only shows when my shoulders are way back, then that was deemed acceptable too.  One day, I wore a lacy camisole that showed ~ I changed to something plainer.

I also look at how many buttons I can open.  Mostly, of course, just a top button is open.  Some shirts, especially women's shirts, are more comfortable with two open.  I check first to ensure no bits of camisole are showing through.

Although it's rare, I sometimes wear real loafers instead of tennies.  The only ones I own are women's, and they're a bit tight so I wear trouser socks underneath.  No-one has ever commented on this.

A small handful of people have asked me about my bracelet, and I've been wearing it for several years.  No-one has asked me about my ring, but I've only been wearing it for two months.

And if someone said something?  I don't know what I'll say, but I will keep my strict "no stories" rule in place.  Yes, life would be easier with stories, and I have some fiction in mind.  I don't plan to use it though.

And even if I do go over the edge, I'd be extremely surprised if anyone says anything.

Tomorrow: No-one says anything.

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Sticking With the Old Favourite

I am trying on tops and skirts when the lights and air conditioning work.  I have tried on a dozen or more of each, and mostly I have been wearing my favourite bra underneath.

When I was in a lingerie shop in AZ, I asked what size she thought I should wear.  I told her I usually wore a 38C and she suggested I might try a 36D ~ going down a band size means going up a cup size, although I've never understood why.

I believe I wrote about hunting a 36C and 36D bra in the same style so I could compare how they fit and how the forms looked.  The 36C was too small for the forms; the 36D looked and felt right.

Or so I thought.

I put on the 36D Sunday night, after power came back and I wanted to try on some tops and skirts (note: they're not outfits.  Some of the combinations are horrid even to my impaired fashion sense).

I put it on, then pulled on my cinch and a shaping cami.  This is probably overkill, but that's what I put on.

After a few minutes, I had to change bras.  I have no idea how I thought this fit, except I didn't try it long enough.  It is positively painful to wear.  Now, I just have to find out if the swap takes bras.  They're practically new.

Besides, I think C looks pretty proportional.  So no D bra.  Hmmm...  I wonder if parents who name their daughter "DeBra" think about that.

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I'll Help With The Testing!

First, please go back to Friday's post and then take the poll to the right.  Time's almost up!

My Supersize Me post inspired a reader to share a story.

He wrote about when he took a Mechanical Engineering class, many years ago.  We'll just say his college days go back a few years but probably not as far as mine (class of 1891).  It was in a day when an engineering class was male-dominated, and often male-exclusive.  The professor was trying to explain design tolerances.

This is the lecture, as he remembers it:

I will assume you gentlemen can visualize a ladies brassiere, a device to provide support for the cantilevered portion of a woman's body.  It is held in place mainly by the elasticity of the rubber in the horizontal section.  One edge has a series of metal hooks spaced along the edge.  The opposite end has corresponding columns of metal loops into which the hooks mate.  There are three or four columns of loops.  Each column is spaced about one inch further from the row of loops along the edge.

When the brassiere is new and the elastic is fresh and firm, the design is for the lady to hook into the loops closest to the edge. As the brassiere ages and the rubber loses it's elasticity the lady [ahem] will move the connection to next inward column of loops until the innermost column of loops can no longer obtain the needed tension for support.  At that time the brassiere is worn out and should be replaced.  If properly designed, and used as designed the entire brassiere should be ready for replacement at that time.

Worn out brassieres?  One of the paradoxes of the closet is, clothes get worn out without ever getting worn out. :)

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Bras for the One Percent

I wanted to get a bra in the size suggested by the wonderful ladies in Alice Rae's in Tucson, as I wrote about here.  She said I might want to try a 36D instead of 38C.  I wanted to get a 36C and a 36D, to kind of hedge my bets.  The problem, as many of us know, is that bras are expensive.

Macy's had bras and panties on clearance.  I had a little time after work to shop.  The ad in the paper said bras were $6.99 ($9.99 after the sale) and panties were $2.99 ($3.99 after the sale).  Another newspaper ad implied that the sale would go on through the weekend, but the ad I was looking at said "last day" and it was today's newspaper and I wouldn't be able to shop until the next day.

Even $9.99 was a good price.

I looked around and found the clearance rack.  On the way there were a lot of "buy two, get two free" but I didn't need four bras, especially at $30+ each.  I saw some "buy one, get one free" but they weren't in a style I thought I could support (HA!).

So I looked at the clearance rack.

Did you know they make "E" bras?  There was one on the rack: 32E.  Yes, 32.

There were 36A, 32DDD, 44B, and "Medium" and "Small," whatever they were.

No two bras were alike.  I thought I was shopping for snowflakes.  And no bra was one the average woman would wear.  I admit, I did want to meet the woman who said "YES!  A 32DDD!  Just my size!" :)

Padded bras, bras with inserts, demi bras, full coverage bras, soft bras, sports bras, underwire bras, all in sizes I didn't know existed.  I think if you took 100 random women and said "here's the clearance rack.  Find your bra" one would come away with a prize.

The other 99% of us are, as usual, out of luck.

I ignored the panty rack, but I did see that Vanity Fair, in my favourite style, were on sale: buy three for $24, get three free.  $4 a pair is a great buy.

I was very tempted.  If I found a bra (or two) I would have stocked up.  But, alas, I am not one of the one percent.

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That Flurry of Polls ~ Bras

When in drab, I wear a bra... (80 votes)
never	23 (28%)
if I'm sure it won't show	23 (28%)
if I think it won't show	22 (27%)
I don't care if it shows ~ I like it	8 (10%)
I don't care if it shows ~ I need one	2 (2%)
I need one and I try my best to hide it	2 (2%)

I admit that, as much as I'd like to, I have rarely worn a bra unless fully dressed.  There are just too many ways to get called out, and I'm not ready for that at this point in my life.  If the shoulder or back strap don't show through (and they often do) the saggy cups are a sure giveaway.  I'd get a bra with a cup that "fits" but they don't seem to make AA in my size.  There are some sports bras I could try, but they don't seem all that feminine, and that, for me, is a big part of the attraction.

I think I'm pretty far along the "don't care" scale.

So I was surprised that almost two thirds of you wear bras!  And, of those, for more than half of you it's OK if it's seen.

I'm sure most of us agree that a bra is the ultimate feminine item, but it's also the hardest to explain, if you need to explain it.  "I need one," as 4% of you said, is a good explanation.

I need to see if I have any unpadded bras handy.  Friday, I'll probably wear a denim shirt and that covers almost anything.  Almost anything.

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You Wear WHAT?

I would like to dig a little bit deeper into my underwear poll.  I wanted you ladies to be able to select only one answer in some groups, so there is a little group of polls instead of one.

Most of you wore panties.  I wanted to know a bit more.  Just a little detail.  "Always" means "always, every day, all the time.  I wouldn't know what to do with undies with a fly."

A bit over half wear some sort of hose.  I wear women's socks over my hose, unless they're at least close to passable.  Does it make sense to wear flowery socks over hose?  Probably not.  And I have to be careful that the socks don't fall down, or my pants go up too much.  Yes, it's better to skip the socks.  Maybe this winter.

Continuing on the hose theme, I was wondering what you wear.  I love the idea of thigh-highs, but they fall down.  I think if they're under pants, every step you take grabs and tugs them down a tiny bit more until your hose are around your ankles and you look like an idiot.

Almost a third wear a bra and I'm intrigued.  Tell me more.

I wear a waist cinch as a support garment but I tried a shaping camisole and loved it.  And someday, I hope to spring for a corset.  It's a lot of money and I'm trying to decide if I want one with a bra or not.  With a bra is probably best for full figure control, but it means I'll wear the same bra every day.  And if I don't like the bra, well, it's all a waste of money then.

In the last poll you can choose one or more.  I'd check everything but pierced earrings.

As always, you can expound on your choices in comments or e-mail.  Mark comments PRIVATE and I won't post them.

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Underdressing?

(three days to go)

OK, new poll.  I thought I hid it yesterday but seven of you found it anyway!

I underdress.  I don't mean that I wear shorts to jeans occasions, or I wear jeans to dinner parties (although I sort of do that too, when I'm in drab).  I mean I crossdress, underneath.

As my male socks tear, they are replaced by women's socks.  I no longer own any male underwear.  I sometimes, especially in colder weather, wear pantyhose or tights under my slacks.  Although I usually wear socks over pantyhose, I usually wear black tights without socks.

I own no male undershirts.  I do own a number of camisoles and under a heavier shirt I'll wear a lacy one with thin straps.  Under a lighter shirt, I wear a more "tank top" type of camisole.

I have worn a waist cinch under my shirt/pants.  I don't do that often though.  On rare occasions, I've worn a bra under my clothes.

I know that some of us never underdress. I know that some of us overdress ~ we wear "passable" female clothes.  I have a few shirts that button on "the wrong side," most of my jeans are women's jeans, and my shoes are from Aerosoles; my casual shoes are women's New Balance.  Some of us wear a bit of makeup all or some of the time.

But that's another poll for another day.  Please take my "underdressing" poll.  I'm curious.  And feel free to e-mail me or drop a comment if you checked "something else."

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Shopping and Buying

Gurl_In_Trouble, a self-described evil witch wrote:

Do you have a budget for women's clothes, or something? I sort of do, but it's kind of a vague one at best.

I have a budget, but it's kind of a vague one at best.

I shop when I need something. But clearly, I don't need any women's clothing. Or if I admit I have a need to go out as Meg, then I only need a minimal amount of clothing. Fifty dresses is outrageous!

I used to buy things that I thought were pretty and would be fun to wear. I have several sleeveless dresses, and dresses with low backs, and sheer blouses. These are for indoors only, because I don't shave enough of me to wear any of those and maintain the illusion. I also have shoes that are clearly made for bare feet, which is not the way I go out.

Then I started going out, and a year or two ago I started only looking for "going out" clothes. This means I leave more outfits I'd enjoy wearing (or seeing on other women) on the rack, and more money in my wallet.

I shop cheap. $30 for a dress is about my limit. I scored a really nice silk dress at Macy's a few years ago. It was $130, on sale, then on clearance and ended at about $25. I remember the saleswoman kept saying what an amazing bargain it was. But it was an example of a beautiful piece of clothing that I'll never wear out ~ it won't fit in anywhere I'm apt to go.

I look for camis under $10, tops and skirts under $25, shoes under $25. I keep hoping I'll find two nice pair of shoes at a Payless BOGO half-price sale, but I never do.

Would I like to buy that $150 dress on the rack? Or go into Nordstroms and try on some shoes that look great and fit perfectly? Absolutely. But I do have other obligations.

I like to think I'm being frugal, but I'm sure I'd be depressed if I added up an average cost for all of the tops, skirts, dresses, shoes I own. And makeup! And jewelry! I try to make trade-offs. "I'll skip lunch this week and buy those skirts", but it's not likely that I'll save $75 on lunches this week!

Makeup is another expense. I have bought $35 (or more) foundation, because it's worth it to have the saleslady match my skin colour and get me exactly what I need. But I'll try to match it at the drug store next time. Mascara, eye liner, lipstick ~ I look for the under-ten-dollar stuff at CVS.

I wear the jewelry you find on the little racks in Macy's or the other stores. I don't buy the nice stuff that's inside the glass cases.

Burlington Coat Factory and Sym's are great for finding bargain clothing and jewelry.

I've shopped at the Salvation Army, but I'm torn ~ I can't decide if I'm giving much-needed money to the SA, or taking shopping opportunities from my poorer sisters. If the store is packed with clothing, I feel better about shopping there.

As for the "illusion" items, I shop around and I can't figure out a pattern yet. I know I should be spending a few hundred for a great wig, but my wigs cost under $100. My favourite breast forms cost close to $200, and I have a couple of pair of less expensive ones. Body shapers are expensive (in my mind) but I own a few and if I saw one that looked like it would do a better job than the ones I have, I'd buy it. But $100 or more for a corset? I can't see me spending that.

I have a lot of bras, and they're expensive but I never buy more than one at a time so I can't take advantage of the "buy two, get one free" offers. Mostly, there are just 3-4 bras that I wear. I'm also looking for something that looks nice, adds hip and butt pads, and is reasonably priced. So far, it's eluded me.

I do often look at what's in my cart and decide I'm spending too much, and have to decide which two of the five pair of earrings I have to put back. One silver and one gold? But they're all so pretty, and I don't have a lot of silver earrings but both gold ones are sexy and I think my gold hoops are broken and.... You get the idea.

I'm rambling, I know. I didn't plan this entry; it's just organic.

I have three types of women's items I shop for.

Strictly Meg. Dresses, blouses, skirts, makeup, jewelry, bras, handbags, cute camisoles, heels. Breast forms and wigs and shapers. I try to buy carefully and, lately, with a trip in mind. I also try to have a limit, based vaguely on when I last shopped, and how my side business is going. Do I need more clothes? Of course I do, in spite of what I wrote up top! And I bring some clothes to clothing swaps, including dresses I love and they fit but I haven't worn out of the house ever and never will. Like that silk bargain I mentioned earlier.

Everyday Wear. Panties, girls' socks, camisoles that I can wear under regular shirts, jeans, passable pants and shirts and shoes ~ they all come out of this pocket. I don't budget so much as buy what I need. I spent a lot of time in that mall in El Paso trying to decide if I should buy those pants. They were, I think, $58 marked down to $35. That's on the high end for me to spend on men's pants. So I follow the same spending rules as when I'm buying men's clothing, but I enjoy the shopping experience more. I am more likely to buy a passable shirt or pair of pants, just because they're hard to find and I don't want to lose the opportunity.

Art. C'mon. admit it. You've bought a dress or pair of shoes or necklace because it's beautiful, not because you need them or they fit really well.

Win-Win

I'll write later about my coworker. This is timely.

From the article:

On Aug. 22, GoTopless Day 2010, GoTopless.org Summons All Men in America to Cover Their Chests in the Name of Equal Rights!

'Topless equal rights for all or none!'

LOS ANGELES, Aug. 18 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- For the third consecutive year, U.S.-based GoTopless.org will stage a national Go-Topless Day protest to proclaim women's constitutional right to go bare-chested in public. During the protest, while participating women go bare, male participants will cover their chests to comply with gender equal rights by wearing bikini tops or bras.

Check out the relevant page (but the home page is NSFW [Not Safe For Work]).

Mentioning the Unmentionables

Gurls my age know the term "unmentionable". :)

I like Vanity Fair panties. They seem to be the most comfortable (ie, roomiest). I only wish they had a bigger variety of colours and patterns. I'll make sure I have a clean pair for travel day.

After trying different forms with different bras, I settled on a pink soft cup bra (Bestform, I think it is). I usually wear a Beauty by Bali (soft cup) bra because it gives me a nice curve, but I wanted to tone that down a bit for the trip. You can see what I mean by curve in the picture here. Then as I was getting ready for the clothing swap I came across a Sears bra ~ my very first bra. I tried it on, I liked it, I wore it at the swap, I hand-washed it, and it's going on the airplane with my new forms.

I have four sets of forms. My first are my favourites, but they're starting to show their age. I think packing them in bags in my luggage is not the best idea, even with burying them within my clothes. I need something with a harder side to protect them. So I replaced them with the same type (GL-2000 from GlamourBoutique). They came with tape to keep them in place, but I doubt I'll use it. I've said I doubt I'll do a lot of things as Meg and changed my mind. I certainly won't tape them on this trip. I'm trying to avoid doing anything for the first time on this trip!

The other forms are OK. Both are a harder silicone than the GL-2000. One is from Magic Curves and they slide when I'm sweaty ~ the Magic Moving Boobies is not a very realistic look, I think. The other ones don't have any pedigree and I can't find the order info right now, but the nipples are very prominent with the Sears bra. I don't think the Perpetually Excited look is what I'm going for either.

I'll bring a couple of pairs of hose to the hotel and probably put one in my purse as well. I'm not as gentle with hose as I should be and backup won't hurt. I think I'll go with pantyhose, unless I can find a good not-extremely-sheer pair of stockings tomorrow.

My cinch will come with me, but I'll see how I look with the top out and no cinch. If my tummy is behaving, that's one less thing I need to wear.

And I'll bring a slip, just because I like them. I don't know if I'll wear it yet. The skirt doesn't need it, but it's not lined and a slip just feels nice, you know?

I'm certainly glad we got over that "unmentionable" taboo.