Monday, April 8, 2013

38, Si. C, No. (Part II)

So I pushed a little bit.

Monday, I wore my purple shirt and black pants.  Under the black pants were tights that are close in colour to the shirt (I'm always amazed at how many purples there are).  Under the shirt I wore a nearly-red lacy thin strap cami.  The cami is shaped enough that it would sag without a bust underneath.  "Nearly-red:" to me, it seemed a tad purple; Charity said it was on the pink side of the spectrum.

Under the cami I wore the dark blue bra.

It showed a bit.  If I tried, it showed a bit more.  Even under the best of circumstances, the left side showed a bit because I keep my badge in my pocket.  The badge is in a hard plastic holder hanging from a lanyard, and it didn't lie flat in the pocket.

I didn't care.  It was a tiny tell and I think most people don't see what they don't expect.

I definitely enjoyed it more than I cared about people noticing it.

Tuesday, I wore a salmon cami sandwiched between the same bra and a grey shirt.  Both the purple shirt and the grey one are fairly new and quite opaque.  The pocket on the grey shirt is a bit roomier and the badge doesn't stick out so much.  I added solid grey tights to my outfit.

Wednesday, with my forest green tights, I tried a very lacy white cami (over the bra, of course) under a green shirt.  The shirt showed the lace so I switched to a plainer spaghetti strap green cami.  I don't normally wear this one because it has something I don't know the name of: it has a second layer inside, with a wide elastic band on the bottom ~ kind of like a built-in sports bra.  The elastic is uncomfortable when worn just as a cami but I thought I'd try it with a bra.  Note: it's not much more comfortable with a bra underneath.  The cami shows a bit, but not enough to worry me.  The bra is fine.

Thursday I wore my darker pink shirt with lighter purple tights (I didn't have a matching deep pink) and a purple stretchy camisole.  Over the bra, of course.  All is good.

And then laundering was in order.

One odd thing about the bra: I checked the size.  It claims to be a 38C.  I think if I put my pads in there and closed the catch they would squirt out the top.  I don't have smaller pads to see if they'd work, but I can't see that ever fitting a 38C without squeezing the girls so much your cleavage would make you look like you had a cleft chin.

Now, I need to see if I can find another bra or two like it.  I remember where I got it: it was a long time ago, on Canal Street in Manhattan at one of those stores in Chinatown where they keep bins of goods on the street.  I can't remember how I found the courage to even look in the bin, much less buy it.

And now I need to see what I can get away with, as far as shirts and camis go.


  1. The cami with the extra layer with the elastic band running below the bustline is called a 'camisole with a shelf bra". The idea is that you don't need to wear a bra with that kind of cami. I have a couple of them, and I like them, but I do have, pectoral masses for them to hold up. If you get around to gluing your forms on sometime, one of those would work great with them. Most women who wear them do so as their only top on a hot day, maybe to work around the house, exercise, or wear to the beach over a bikini. The same woman might well put a men's style "bigshirt" over it and button only the lower buttons, to run errands. It's a summer with jeans or shorts look, extremely casual.

  2. Meg -

    Just curious - Are you trying to be discovered? Would you like to live the way Rhonda does, as noted in Stana's blog?


  3. Hey Girl - it's time to see a therapist about transitioning. You're bleeding gender all over the place. Trust me, you'll be glad you did. Good luck! - Leah M

  4. While I have been wearing pantyhose under my slacks for years (decades) it seems that over the past few years I have been adding other lingerie items to my underdressing. This year, on well over a dozen occasions, I have worn a bra/slip/cami or combination of 2 or 3 of these items under my regular shirts.

    On a few occasions I have even worn one of my corsets but these always show through and are impossible to hide under almost any top. Since I also have a bad back and on occiasions I have to wear a back brace I have merely mentioned that it is a back brace under my shirt as opposed to a corset.

    While I started out often wearing tights without socks over them, I now, almost routinely, wear beige or black pantyhose without socks when going out with my wife. On several occasions I doubt that she even noticed. I know on some occasions she has noticed and commented. I surmise that on many other occasions she has noticed but simply chose not to comment. Likewise I have on many occasions worn a bra/slip/cami when out with my wife. Sometimes she notices and mentions it but most often nothing is said. I suppose it has become as meaningless to mention as if I were to point out that she was wearing a bra.

    There have been times when I have had my forms in my bra. If I have a coat or jacket on when we leave the house she has expressed surprised when I doff my coat when we get to a restaurant or movie. Aftger almost 4 decades of wonderful marriage I suppose she has resigned herself to being married to me and has realized that some things just are the way they are.

    I find that wearing a bra without my forms can feel a little uncomfortable. The garment was designed to have something in it. The forms just make it fit better and more comfortably.


  5. Anonymous -

    I get that same feeling - but wasn't sure if others were picking up on it....

    I know that if I were 35 years younger, with the same quality of opportunities I had then (but living now), I'd consider it....


  6. Sounds like some lovely outfits... bra issues, er, aside! LOL

  7. When I read this account originally I thought how lucky you were to have a job or opportunity to wear what ever your heart desired. To have been able to wear a purple blouse/shirt with the under garments noted as well would be a blessing for me too. Someday maybe I will be as fortunate to be able to do so. I am underdressing more and more after having worn only panties and panty hose for years. I have added sports bras and cami's when the top allowed such items. Recently my wife has even added a couple of tops to my closet and allowed then to be worn out. Small steps but very grateful. Always enjoy your blog. Lisa K.


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