As I mentioned earlier this week, Star invited a dozen or so friends to a Chinese restaurant for a Dim Sum brunch. As I also mentioned earlier, the brunch was to be a prelude to helping her friend move into her new house. As I also mentioned, I don't like to mix boy and girl presentation.
What I didn't mention: late in the week, a cold that seemed to be simmering until my project deadline passed erupted. Saturday was drippy nose day and I started to worry about going out at all the following day. Even if I were to go out, I worried about going out dressed. I don't think foundation and drippy nose are the optimal formula for a smooth complexion.
I wanted to help. I wanted to meet Amanda. I sort of wanted to try a new food.
(Note to readers: I'm not fond of trying new foods. At my house [and growing up], we had a limited repertoire of dinners, for example. I eat pretty much the same breakfast every day [and that doesn't bother me]. I never had Mexican food until the company group I was with went to a seriously Mexican restaurant in San Antonio. But Charity likes (a) to cook and (b) variety and I've gotten over that "no thank you" response to some extent. So I wasn't going to reject Dim Sum, but I wasn't going to be gung ho about it.)
But I didn't want to present as male.
But I didn't see a choice ~ I wasn't at my best that morning. I was planning on wearing a casual top and jeans (as Meg, a first! Meg in pants!) and flats or maybe my girl sneakers. Instead, I wore a casual top and jeans and sneakers and went in drab.
It turns out it was a good thing. A very very good thing. Thalia was on her toes, watching over me that day.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Simple Pleasure ~ One Ringy-Dingy
Does anyone remember that reference?
I have a new ring.
I've been wearing it daily ~ to work and after work ~ and as Meg. It's been on my finger for about two weeks now and no-one has commented. I'm actually a bit surprised about that.
I have a new ring.
I've been wearing it daily ~ to work and after work ~ and as Meg. It's been on my finger for about two weeks now and no-one has commented. I'm actually a bit surprised about that.
Labels:
jewelry,
Simple Pleasures
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Star Party, Part II
We got to the party and were introduced to the attendees already there. As I said, I was a bit worried about the children who would be there.
It turned out one girl came to the table where we were playing and I was introduced. She was fine, once the screaming stopped. No, I kid. She treated me like any other woman. A boy came in later and pretty much ignored the adults. The adults were old friends of Star and Andrea (who was there in male mode), mostly going back to college days. We played Power Grid, a new-to-me game, and I misunderstood the rules for the endgame, or I might've won (or at least come very very close!).
But who cares. We had fun, six of us at one table trying to power different cities and build a contiguous grid more efficiently than the other players. There were snacks, the players were all fun, and Charity and I teased Star a bit because she kept mixing up our names.
Star told us that a friend of hers, Amanda Simpson, was moving next weekend and asked us if we'd all like to meet for Dim Sum around brunch time and help her move. I said "of course!" Most of the other players agreed to at least meet for brunch, even if they couldn't help her move.
I didn't know Amanda, but I knew of Amanda from news stories. And being a bit of a political junkie, I was thrilled for the opportunity to meet another Obama appointee ~ my first as Meg!
Lesson: I'm learning to be more comfortable in social situations. Part of that is comfort as Meg. Part is (finally) understanding my own limitations: introversion, prosopagnosia, problems hearing over background noise.
Realisation: there are more women who accept us (or at least don't mind us) than I thought.
And a moral: you can't go wrong, trusting Star.
It turned out one girl came to the table where we were playing and I was introduced. She was fine, once the screaming stopped. No, I kid. She treated me like any other woman. A boy came in later and pretty much ignored the adults. The adults were old friends of Star and Andrea (who was there in male mode), mostly going back to college days. We played Power Grid, a new-to-me game, and I misunderstood the rules for the endgame, or I might've won (or at least come very very close!).
But who cares. We had fun, six of us at one table trying to power different cities and build a contiguous grid more efficiently than the other players. There were snacks, the players were all fun, and Charity and I teased Star a bit because she kept mixing up our names.
Star told us that a friend of hers, Amanda Simpson, was moving next weekend and asked us if we'd all like to meet for Dim Sum around brunch time and help her move. I said "of course!" Most of the other players agreed to at least meet for brunch, even if they couldn't help her move.
I didn't know Amanda, but I knew of Amanda from news stories. And being a bit of a political junkie, I was thrilled for the opportunity to meet another Obama appointee ~ my first as Meg!
Lesson: I'm learning to be more comfortable in social situations. Part of that is comfort as Meg. Part is (finally) understanding my own limitations: introversion, prosopagnosia, problems hearing over background noise.
Realisation: there are more women who accept us (or at least don't mind us) than I thought.
And a moral: you can't go wrong, trusting Star.
Monday, February 25, 2013
This Is Nice
It's nice to be going out so much that I'm backlogged! I've had three days out that are noteworthy in just over two weeks. The common thread was Charity and our new friends, Star and Andrea.
Before going to a gaming party at Star's, I wrote about being a bit apprehensive about going there. She invited about a dozen people over, including a couple of kids. That's really all I knew. I didn't know if they were civilians, t, or a mix. I didn't know if her partner would be there in male or female mode.
We went to Star's to game once before. It was just the four of us, and Charity and I met Andrea for the first time there. This time, she was going to have several people over. I didn't know if they'd be civilians, if they were t-friends, or a mix. I didn't even know if they were new friends, or old friends. And, although I was told I was welcome as Meg or male, I did not consider drab an option. I don't like to mix modes, and I won't if I can avoid it. Note: sometimes, it's not avoidable ~ I'll write about that in a few days.
Plus, I'm never the most socially natural person in the room. So I was a bit stressed. Not enough to not go, and since it wasn't a mandatory event that was something.
As I said, I trust Star, which says a lot. I'm normally suspicious. On the path from naive to paranoid, I'd position myself at "careful."
Star commented on that post. She reassured me and wrote, "everyone, including the kids, met both Andrea and his male self. One gamer is post-op." I paraphrase.
It turns out she was right.
Before knowing what I was getting myself in for, I decided that if it was all T, Star wouldn't have suggested I go in drab. So I went for a casual look. I figured even a skirt would be a bit much, but, well, I had to be Meg. I purchased a glittery purple top a while back but I had never worn it out. The skirt was one I had worn in Arizona last January. Makeup by Charity, and she gave me a purple palette to go with my top. I wore a necklace I bought in Old Town Alexandria in December. I added a couple of bangles and my high-heel patent Maryjanes and I was ready to go.
Charity wore a short denim skirt, a print top and cute boots. She found a bakery that made the Biggest Twist Pretzel In The World and brought that, along with some homemade dips for it.
And by that time, the calm and pleasure of stepping out into the world again overruled any concerns I had.
Before going to a gaming party at Star's, I wrote about being a bit apprehensive about going there. She invited about a dozen people over, including a couple of kids. That's really all I knew. I didn't know if they were civilians, t, or a mix. I didn't know if her partner would be there in male or female mode.
We went to Star's to game once before. It was just the four of us, and Charity and I met Andrea for the first time there. This time, she was going to have several people over. I didn't know if they'd be civilians, if they were t-friends, or a mix. I didn't even know if they were new friends, or old friends. And, although I was told I was welcome as Meg or male, I did not consider drab an option. I don't like to mix modes, and I won't if I can avoid it. Note: sometimes, it's not avoidable ~ I'll write about that in a few days.
Plus, I'm never the most socially natural person in the room. So I was a bit stressed. Not enough to not go, and since it wasn't a mandatory event that was something.
As I said, I trust Star, which says a lot. I'm normally suspicious. On the path from naive to paranoid, I'd position myself at "careful."
Star commented on that post. She reassured me and wrote, "everyone, including the kids, met both Andrea and his male self. One gamer is post-op." I paraphrase.
It turns out she was right.
Before knowing what I was getting myself in for, I decided that if it was all T, Star wouldn't have suggested I go in drab. So I went for a casual look. I figured even a skirt would be a bit much, but, well, I had to be Meg. I purchased a glittery purple top a while back but I had never worn it out. The skirt was one I had worn in Arizona last January. Makeup by Charity, and she gave me a purple palette to go with my top. I wore a necklace I bought in Old Town Alexandria in December. I added a couple of bangles and my high-heel patent Maryjanes and I was ready to go.
Charity wore a short denim skirt, a print top and cute boots. She found a bakery that made the Biggest Twist Pretzel In The World and brought that, along with some homemade dips for it.
And by that time, the calm and pleasure of stepping out into the world again overruled any concerns I had.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Sunday Funnies ~ Recent Laughs
I don't have a favoured cartoonist this week. These are just some recent comics that made me laugh.
Point well taken |
Labels:
sunday funnies
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Gentlemen (continued)
This series of Luann strips reminded me to write yesterday's post. I love the way Greg Evans made "coming out as a gentleman" a metaphor for, well, coming out.
Although Knute normally seems to be without shame, I guess he's the only character in the strip this would work with. And the week has a great punchline at the end.
Although Knute normally seems to be without shame, I guess he's the only character in the strip this would work with. And the week has a great punchline at the end.
Why not. He wore a two-piece bathing suit once. |
Labels:
comics,
gentleman,
Greg Evans,
luann
Friday, February 22, 2013
The Lady Is a Gentleman!
I've been to several clothing swaps.
I don't do well at the swaps.
I usually come home with a couple of OK items at best. Often, I get the "what's left" items while the nice skirts and dresses go to the other women.
I was going to write "the problem is..." but it's not really a problem. So: the reason is, my natural tendency is towards behaviour you'd characterise as 'chivalrous' or 'gentlemanly.'
I respect women. If there is a woman nearby, when I open a door I stand aside so she can go through first. She will enter and leave an elevator first. A year or so ago, I saw a woman and a car by the side of the road near the development where I lived. Her trunk was open. I drove into the development, walked back the hundred or two yards to her car, and saw she had a flat. Which I changed. My brain normally interprets a woman saying "I would like" as "you should do."
Now, I try to respect everyone, but there's a difference. I won't slam a door in a guy's face, and I'll hold it if he has full arms (and say something to that effect), but it's definitely different for women.
It's hard to remember that I'm on the 'receiving end,' so to speak, when I'm dressed.
I have to stop letting other women go ahead of me when boarding an elevator, for instance. I have to remember I've been elevated ~ and I'm now among equals when pawing through the swap tables.
I'd bet that most of us agree: if asked, we'd proudly admit that we put women on a pedestal. We don't crossdress to mock women; we do it out of admiration ~ at least to some extent.
It's one more thing that's not natural but necessary if I'm going to pass well: stand straight, legs together, feminine walk, smile more, avoid looking at random men, and don't grab for the cheque or give up your seat to a younger woman. And be bold when looking at the swap tables.
I don't do well at the swaps.
I usually come home with a couple of OK items at best. Often, I get the "what's left" items while the nice skirts and dresses go to the other women.
I was going to write "the problem is..." but it's not really a problem. So: the reason is, my natural tendency is towards behaviour you'd characterise as 'chivalrous' or 'gentlemanly.'
I respect women. If there is a woman nearby, when I open a door I stand aside so she can go through first. She will enter and leave an elevator first. A year or so ago, I saw a woman and a car by the side of the road near the development where I lived. Her trunk was open. I drove into the development, walked back the hundred or two yards to her car, and saw she had a flat. Which I changed. My brain normally interprets a woman saying "I would like" as "you should do."
Now, I try to respect everyone, but there's a difference. I won't slam a door in a guy's face, and I'll hold it if he has full arms (and say something to that effect), but it's definitely different for women.
It's hard to remember that I'm on the 'receiving end,' so to speak, when I'm dressed.
I have to stop letting other women go ahead of me when boarding an elevator, for instance. I have to remember I've been elevated ~ and I'm now among equals when pawing through the swap tables.
I'd bet that most of us agree: if asked, we'd proudly admit that we put women on a pedestal. We don't crossdress to mock women; we do it out of admiration ~ at least to some extent.
It's one more thing that's not natural but necessary if I'm going to pass well: stand straight, legs together, feminine walk, smile more, avoid looking at random men, and don't grab for the cheque or give up your seat to a younger woman. And be bold when looking at the swap tables.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Then and Now
This little cold has kept my brain foggy this week. I'm not complaining about the cold ~ there's a lot of flu around that I could have had instead.
I owe y'all a follow-up to my post about the private gaming party I was at. So far, all I've done is write about how apprehensive I was before the event.
Last weekend, I went out with Star and about a dozen of her friends... but my cold had begun and I was in the drippy nose stage so I went in drab. I'd rather not be miserable dressed but I did something I did not want to do: meet with people who knew Meg when I wasn't Meg. As it turned out, my cold kept me from doing something very stupid.
And this weekend I'll be at another private t-party at Christine's house. I wrote about the first one I went to here (and in the following posts).
So I think I have enough material for next week's posts. All I need now is for the remaining fog to lift so I can write them.
Meg, doing OK playing Power Grid |
Last weekend, I went out with Star and about a dozen of her friends... but my cold had begun and I was in the drippy nose stage so I went in drab. I'd rather not be miserable dressed but I did something I did not want to do: meet with people who knew Meg when I wasn't Meg. As it turned out, my cold kept me from doing something very stupid.
And this weekend I'll be at another private t-party at Christine's house. I wrote about the first one I went to here (and in the following posts).
So I think I have enough material for next week's posts. All I need now is for the remaining fog to lift so I can write them.
Labels:
civilians,
games,
going out,
trans soiree
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Simple Pleasure: My Desktop
Right now, my computer desktop is light blue. It used to be a picture I took of the ocean from the Coast Guard base in San Juan. I'm not sure what happened to it. My screensaver just blanks the screen.
But I plan to pick a nice Meg or Meg-and-friends picture for my desktop. I'll organise some Meg-and-friends pictures for a screensaver slide show. Or I might collect some clothes and shoes pictures for my slide show.
The point is, I will enjoy being at the computer more.
And I can.
But I plan to pick a nice Meg or Meg-and-friends picture for my desktop. I'll organise some Meg-and-friends pictures for a screensaver slide show. Or I might collect some clothes and shoes pictures for my slide show.
The point is, I will enjoy being at the computer more.
And I can.
Labels:
Simple Pleasures
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Going Out: The Safest Place I Know
I sent this to a couple of local t-groups. I know most of you are from points far away (in addition to English-speaking countries, friends from Netherlands and Germany, among others), but there are probably comparable groups where you are (although without our own Kim).
I know some of the girls here like to get out and about, but only to safe places ~ t-meetings, t-friendly clubs, another girl's house.
Ladies,
A few years ago, on meetup, I expressed interest in as many "trans" keywords as I could think of, plus a few other topics. One was "clothing swaps."
Then I forgot about it.
Then I forgot about it.
I think it was in early 2009 when I got an e-mail from Kim, telling me that she's starting a clothing swap and she was looking for ladies who were interested in getting together to pass on their old treasures for new-to-you ones.
I thought about it. I was barely going out at that point. I was looking for someplace that might be safe ~ and for me, especially back then ~ "safe" meant avoiding teens and especially men.
I thought some more. I was pretty careful to stay in the closet ~ maybe poking a toe or a leg out but that was it. I was careful about where I went, how I purchased clothing when in drab, and was terrified of being spotted by the neighbors on those rare occasions when I went out.
I thought some more. I read the invite and the group home page. Kim had some pretty inclusive language ~ everyone was welcome, and she kind of implied even girls like me were, although I thought I was reading more into what she wrote than she intended. My inner optimist was peeking out.
I thought some more. Then I wrote to Kim and laid my cards on the table. I wrote something like "I'm not sure I'm the kind of woman you're expecting. I'm a crossdresser."
Her response was "so?" I paraphrase.
She explained that I was not reading too much into what she wrote: she meant everyone, including t-girls, when she said "inclusive."
We had a little back-and-forth, she assured me that I would be welcome and accepted (as if she could know that!) no matter how I dressed. I wasn't sure if I would go in drab or dressed at that time.
It turned out it was on a day I was home alone and I went dressed to her first swap. I was scared to death, but I walked into that room full of women and I was greeted by Kim and she had someone doing makeup and other little attractions and I was treated just like every other woman there.
Since then, I've been to several swaps ~ ten or more, I'd guess. I was in drab once, dressed every other time. I saw a few of my trans-sisters there, I chatted with many women and it was wonderful.
It's a total immersion experience, like being tossed into the deep end of a pool filled with estrogen. I've NEVER spoken to a woman and had her reject me, or walk away, or even ignore me. I've had women come up to me to chat. I've complimented women on their clothes, envied their new treasures, and had the same returned. I felt accepted and, dare I say it, normal.
Kim does several swaps a year. Her next swap is just a couple of weeks away and it's a plus size swap ~ size 14+. There is still room, if anyone wants to go. The next swap is in April and it filled up literally within hours of being announced. Then she found a larger location and opened it to more women.
Kim's co-host, Dianna, always shows up and (wo)mans the potluck table with her wife. Dianna is one of us.
Whether you're going out-out for the first time, or just looking for a new experience, consider going. You'll be accepted and have a good time. I promise.
Meg
ps, I found out (not from Kim) that once someone wrote expressing concern about having guys in drag there. She dumped her from the group.
Labels:
clothing swap,
going out,
safe places
Monday, February 18, 2013
I Have A Code in My Node
Which kept me from going out dressed yesterday, but not from going out. I didn't really want to subject a group who knew only Meg to her male counterpart, but it couldn't be avoided.
It turned out to be a good thing and kept me from doing something potentially both fun and stupid.
More tomorrow. I also owe you a writeup on my visit with Star and her friends last weekend.
It turned out to be a good thing and kept me from doing something potentially both fun and stupid.
More tomorrow. I also owe you a writeup on my visit with Star and her friends last weekend.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
I Wonder What's Next
So, is Brad going to say "it must be weird to wear a bra" next?
I know Paula beat me to these cartoons, but in case you haven't seen them there, they're here:
I know Paula beat me to these cartoons, but in case you haven't seen them there, they're here:
Friday, February 15, 2013
If the Mountains Won't Come to Mohammed...
Mohammed must go to the mountains.
I've long wanted a bra that fits, one that sits snugly against my skin, instead of snugly against my forms.
Alas, I could never find a 38AAAAAAAAAAAAA bra. Seriously, if I was any flatter, I'd be concave, emphasis on the "cave." And I don't plan on getting those mountains.... Surgery is not for me, and I don't think hormones are a good idea.
I've looked on Amazon, eBay, Lady Grace, and others. 38's, it seems, go down to A. AA or AAA go up to 36. I could consider a bra extender, but I decided to keep looking.
There are padded bras in small cup sizes, but what I really wanted was a bra I could wear to work. That means: small cup, unpadded, white or nude or beige.
A few weeks ago, I found one by chance. I was in an H&M and found a small cup, unpadded bra but it didn't have a band size. Then I found what I guess is a training bra. It's white and lacy and has adjustable straps and is very inexpensive. It didn't have a band size but it's very stretchy. It also has no hooks and eyes to close and open it ~ it has a continuous band and I generally step into it and pull it up. My waist and hips are smaller than my shoulders, after all.
I wear it whenever it's clean and won't show through my shirt. Or at least I don't think it won't show.
In other news, my delivery is basically done and I won't be working long and late next week so I'll be able to write up last Sunday. And this coming Sunday, when Meg will be out again.
I've long wanted a bra that fits, one that sits snugly against my skin, instead of snugly against my forms.
Alas, I could never find a 38AAAAAAAAAAAAA bra. Seriously, if I was any flatter, I'd be concave, emphasis on the "cave." And I don't plan on getting those mountains.... Surgery is not for me, and I don't think hormones are a good idea.
I've looked on Amazon, eBay, Lady Grace, and others. 38's, it seems, go down to A. AA or AAA go up to 36. I could consider a bra extender, but I decided to keep looking.
There are padded bras in small cup sizes, but what I really wanted was a bra I could wear to work. That means: small cup, unpadded, white or nude or beige.
A few weeks ago, I found one by chance. I was in an H&M and found a small cup, unpadded bra but it didn't have a band size. Then I found what I guess is a training bra. It's white and lacy and has adjustable straps and is very inexpensive. It didn't have a band size but it's very stretchy. It also has no hooks and eyes to close and open it ~ it has a continuous band and I generally step into it and pull it up. My waist and hips are smaller than my shoulders, after all.
I wear it whenever it's clean and won't show through my shirt. Or at least I don't think it won't show.
In other news, my delivery is basically done and I won't be working long and late next week so I'll be able to write up last Sunday. And this coming Sunday, when Meg will be out again.
Labels:
bras,
HandM,
Lady Grace
Thursday, February 14, 2013
The Origin of the Amazons
Not the on-line store.
Remember your mythology? The Amazons were a fierce tribe of women warriors who removed their right breast so it would not get in the way when they released their arrows.
Anyway, this was in the news about three weeks ago and I really don't have anything to say ~ it sort of speaks for itself. As for me, I'd rather grow one (or more) breasts than invade Poland.
From the Daily Mail:
and from the HuffPost the surprisingly subdued:
Google "german soldiers breasts" and you'll find all sorts of articles. Now all I need is a "how to" that doesn't involve slapping myself with a gun all day.
I hope you're all having a great day. Today, as you all know, is a special day worth celebrating: Jack Benny's birthday. He was born in 1894, which makes him... hang on... subtract four... carry the one...
Thirty-nine.
It's also Valentine's Day. Buy flowers, for that special someone ~ and femme up the house a bit for yourself as well.
Remember your mythology? The Amazons were a fierce tribe of women warriors who removed their right breast so it would not get in the way when they released their arrows.
Anyway, this was in the news about three weeks ago and I really don't have anything to say ~ it sort of speaks for itself. As for me, I'd rather grow one (or more) breasts than invade Poland.
From the Daily Mail:
T**zkrieg!
Dozens of soldiers in elite German brigade
each develop single breast as drill
stimulates
hormones on one side of body
German Soldiers Growing Breasts Because Of Gun Drills
(but they do include video)Google "german soldiers breasts" and you'll find all sorts of articles. Now all I need is a "how to" that doesn't involve slapping myself with a gun all day.
I hope you're all having a great day. Today, as you all know, is a special day worth celebrating: Jack Benny's birthday. He was born in 1894, which makes him... hang on... subtract four... carry the one...
Thirty-nine.
It's also Valentine's Day. Buy flowers, for that special someone ~ and femme up the house a bit for yourself as well.
Labels:
breasts,
german soldiers
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Simple Pleasures ~ Work From Home
Telework is permitted at my current job. You need to be pre-approved, unless the government has "liberal leave" (ie, a snow day).
Generally, I don't work at home. Sometimes, it makes more sense. For instance, I can't load unapproved software onto my work computer. If I need to do something with work data, I can copy it to my home machine (it's all unclassified, no personal information) and run a program that massages the data there. It's a one-way trip, since I can't put the data back, but that's often helpful.
But now, when I do work at home, it's an all-Meg day. I probably won't get completely dressed, but I'll start early in my nightgown and anything I change into will be not just girl but girl.
The biggest problem is, I want to go to work every day as Meg.
Generally, I don't work at home. Sometimes, it makes more sense. For instance, I can't load unapproved software onto my work computer. If I need to do something with work data, I can copy it to my home machine (it's all unclassified, no personal information) and run a program that massages the data there. It's a one-way trip, since I can't put the data back, but that's often helpful.
But now, when I do work at home, it's an all-Meg day. I probably won't get completely dressed, but I'll start early in my nightgown and anything I change into will be not just girl but girl.
The biggest problem is, I want to go to work every day as Meg.
Labels:
Simple Pleasures
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Well, It Pays the Bills
pre-party Meg |
I wanted to take a little time to write about the game day yesterday but I haven't had a minute. I'll try to put a "simple pleasure" up tomorrow, and write up game day for Thursday.
Today, you get a preview: I'll be meeting with many of the same group as I saw on Sunday, and I'm going to meet one of my t-heroes! Stay tuned....
Labels:
going out
Monday, February 11, 2013
This Is Different
I'm writing this on Saturday, and you're probably reading this on Monday. So forgive the future tense for a past event.
In between Saturday and today, I went to a game event that Star hosted. Charity and I went there once before but that was for just the four of us ~ Star, Andrea (her partner), Charity and me. Star has only met Meg.
This time, she was going to have several people over. I don't know if they're civilians, if they're t-friends, or a mix. I don't know if Andrea will be there as Andrea or her male self. I don't know if the friends know about Andrea. I don't know if they all know each other, or are newly meeting.
Each of these unknowns makes me a bit nervous. Add them up, and I'm not my (now) usual pre-dressing calm self.
And if I add those up, there's one more thing that doubles the anxiety level: there will be a couple of kids there. I don't know how old (6 months is a lot different from 6 years is a lot different from 16 years). I don't know what they know about trans ~ see the unknown about the mix of civilians/trans.
I could ask about all of those things. And I was offered the opportunity to come as Meg or my male self. I don't plan to introduce myself to the gamers (and she's part of the game group) as anyone but Meg. Plans change, but not tomorrow.
There are a lot of potentially awkward situations. For instance, a t-parent of a child who doesn't know might start an unwelcome dialogue. That's not a big worry for me: I trust Star. She wouldn't put a friend in a situation like that.
It might also be an "outreach" situation for the kids if we're surrounded by civilians.
And, as far as those unknowns go... every time I go out I'm in an unknown situation. I don't know who I'd meet at the swaps. I don't know who's in the grocery or mall or restaurant.
So I'll spend the evening (it's around 6) trying to calm myself (writing helps) and picking out clothes for tomorrow. That's a BIG worry: if they're all trans, I can dress UP. If they're civilians, my most casual skirt will probably be too much.
In between Saturday and today, I went to a game event that Star hosted. Charity and I went there once before but that was for just the four of us ~ Star, Andrea (her partner), Charity and me. Star has only met Meg.
This time, she was going to have several people over. I don't know if they're civilians, if they're t-friends, or a mix. I don't know if Andrea will be there as Andrea or her male self. I don't know if the friends know about Andrea. I don't know if they all know each other, or are newly meeting.
Each of these unknowns makes me a bit nervous. Add them up, and I'm not my (now) usual pre-dressing calm self.
And if I add those up, there's one more thing that doubles the anxiety level: there will be a couple of kids there. I don't know how old (6 months is a lot different from 6 years is a lot different from 16 years). I don't know what they know about trans ~ see the unknown about the mix of civilians/trans.
I could ask about all of those things. And I was offered the opportunity to come as Meg or my male self. I don't plan to introduce myself to the gamers (and she's part of the game group) as anyone but Meg. Plans change, but not tomorrow.
There are a lot of potentially awkward situations. For instance, a t-parent of a child who doesn't know might start an unwelcome dialogue. That's not a big worry for me: I trust Star. She wouldn't put a friend in a situation like that.
It might also be an "outreach" situation for the kids if we're surrounded by civilians.
And, as far as those unknowns go... every time I go out I'm in an unknown situation. I don't know who I'd meet at the swaps. I don't know who's in the grocery or mall or restaurant.
So I'll spend the evening (it's around 6) trying to calm myself (writing helps) and picking out clothes for tomorrow. That's a BIG worry: if they're all trans, I can dress UP. If they're civilians, my most casual skirt will probably be too much.
Labels:
going out
Sunday, February 10, 2013
More Duplex
I think I mentioned last Sunday that I enjoy the Duplex.
Here's another batch. As before, click on one to enlarge the group.
Here's another batch. As before, click on one to enlarge the group.
Labels:
Glenn McCoy,
sunday funnies,
The Duplex
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Nub Is Missing!
(c'mon. Take the poll. It only takes a second!)
It seems Nub is lost in a mall and Bif is looking for him. Joni, one of my readers, found this strip and sent me the final panel. I went back a bit to try and make sense out of it. So far, I haven't figured out why Bif was playing Santa Claus nor who Riley is. The little dog is Nub.
It seems Nub is lost in a mall and Bif is looking for him. Joni, one of my readers, found this strip and sent me the final panel. I went back a bit to try and make sense out of it. So far, I haven't figured out why Bif was playing Santa Claus nor who Riley is. The little dog is Nub.
Labels:
bif and riley
Friday, February 8, 2013
Post Swap
The Clothing Swap! What a crowd! |
I forgot to hand the camera to someone else to get Meg pics at the swap, but I took a few. There were well over 100 women there and if there's a safer place among civilians, I don't know what it is.
(don't forget the poll)
A week or so before the swap, Charity picked up some items in Walmart that we needed to return. So after the swap, we headed to Walmart. We didn't spend a lot of time there: the line for customer service was oppressive and we decided to try again some other time. I guess we could have looked at some items there, but we chose not to and went to our next stop: Michael's.
Charity enjoys crafts, especially scrapbooking and Michael's is her nirvana. We spent a bit of time there and eventually planned to go to our next stop.
Paying at the Giant |
But the more I thought about it... it was after 3 already so we wouldn't be staying very long. Also, I was a bit (OK, very) overdressed for the game group. This kind of made me think it would be best if we skipped today, so we did.
Instead, we did some grocery shopping at the supermarket near our apartment.
I'm happy to say that, with the crowds and all, it was completely uneventful. There were no awkward civilian encounters. The only thing I love more than being treated as a woman is being ignored.
Generally, after an afternoon out, I change. Sometimes, I stay dressed for a short while, enjoying the feeling but I change sooner rather than later.
Nobody cares. That's good, right? |
I'm not sure what was different from other days, but it felt right and I enjoyed it. In fact, I was ready to go back out after dinner. I just didn't have anywhere in particular to go.
Labels:
clothing swap,
going out,
shopping
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Swappy Seconds
About the poll: of course, it should say "I love both equally." I can't change a poll in progress. So far, "what the &#)$! are you talking" about is winning! :D
Last Sunday was a Meg day. It didn't go quite as planned, but was fun nonetheless.
The main event was another clothing swap. I don't seem to find a lot of items to bring home, but I do bring in items I can't use and it's a pleasure to watch them disappear quickly. I'm a big fan of reuse.
One of the other swappers posted that she was looking for a ride to the swap. I volunteered to pick her up at the Metro station and bring her there. Then she told me she was going to help set up and break down and would have to be there an hour early and she'd leave late. I felt she was now officially taking advantage, but I agreed to pick her up early at least.
Then someone else wrote that she would be coming early and she could pick her up. So she dumped me (story of my life) for the other woman. I was looking forward to additional civilian interaction, but at the same time I was glad to be off the hook. I did ask her to ask Kim to point me out so we could say hi. For some reason, she didn't identify herself to Kim so I never did meet her. Ah well.
The swap was more crowded than I have ever seen. We stayed a while, I spoke to some of the women there (including a couple of trans-sisters), and went on our way.
One item of interest: the swap is set up with a |_| of large tables organised by size. At one point, I was walking along the back wall, looking at clothes on the "size large" table. As I got to the end, I was going to squeeze around and walk up the left side of the |_|. Except right behind the tables the room pushes out a bit and Kim had set up screens for changing. I looked up and saw one woman in bra and panties, holding a dress she was going to pull on. I decided to backtrack and go around from the other side of the table. I'm glad I'm accepted there, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. That's never my goal.
By the way, I picked up two dresses at Old Navy on impulse a couple of months ago. It was right outside the nail salon, and after I had my pedicure, I couldn't resist. One was purple; I wore the other to the swap. Both are similar in cut and style. The purple one was on a mannikin, and it looked way too short but when I held the dress up to me, it looked fine. Both had back zips, and were lined. The sleeves on the purple dress are longer. Both are made of the same light material. Each was $21.
The purple one doesn't fit right. It seems smaller across the bust and I can't lift my arms comfortably.
Go figure.
Last Sunday was a Meg day. It didn't go quite as planned, but was fun nonetheless.
$21 at Old Navy! |
One of the other swappers posted that she was looking for a ride to the swap. I volunteered to pick her up at the Metro station and bring her there. Then she told me she was going to help set up and break down and would have to be there an hour early and she'd leave late. I felt she was now officially taking advantage, but I agreed to pick her up early at least.
Then someone else wrote that she would be coming early and she could pick her up. So she dumped me (story of my life) for the other woman. I was looking forward to additional civilian interaction, but at the same time I was glad to be off the hook. I did ask her to ask Kim to point me out so we could say hi. For some reason, she didn't identify herself to Kim so I never did meet her. Ah well.
The swap was more crowded than I have ever seen. We stayed a while, I spoke to some of the women there (including a couple of trans-sisters), and went on our way.
One item of interest: the swap is set up with a |_| of large tables organised by size. At one point, I was walking along the back wall, looking at clothes on the "size large" table. As I got to the end, I was going to squeeze around and walk up the left side of the |_|. Except right behind the tables the room pushes out a bit and Kim had set up screens for changing. I looked up and saw one woman in bra and panties, holding a dress she was going to pull on. I decided to backtrack and go around from the other side of the table. I'm glad I'm accepted there, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. That's never my goal.
By the way, I picked up two dresses at Old Navy on impulse a couple of months ago. It was right outside the nail salon, and after I had my pedicure, I couldn't resist. One was purple; I wore the other to the swap. Both are similar in cut and style. The purple one was on a mannikin, and it looked way too short but when I held the dress up to me, it looked fine. Both had back zips, and were lined. The sleeves on the purple dress are longer. Both are made of the same light material. Each was $21.
The purple one doesn't fit right. It seems smaller across the bust and I can't lift my arms comfortably.
Go figure.
Labels:
clothing swap,
going out,
Old Navy,
shopping
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Simple Pleasures: What Not To Wear
A little non-T poll is off to the right. I just wanted to know what y'all think.
My son's high school needed science fair judges. I signed up, but not as a Meg event.
I would have really liked to do it as a Meg event. There would be new people, and a new experience.
It turns out the first people I saw were people who've known me for years. One introduced herself to the other people at the table; the other gave me enough details that I knew who he was. The other two people were women who worked at the White House ~ one was an Obama appointee!
There are a couple of other school-related events I might do (TSA judge, state chess championship assist [although people know me there ~ it'd be an outing]) but, as much as I'd love to appear as Meg, I won't.
If I ever seriously consider it, please call me out ~ it means I've gone over the edge and my judgement is even more impaired than I think it is.
If it wasn't my kid's school, I'd consider it. I'd fantasise about it. But, like the best fantasies, I'd leave it to my imagination.
My son's high school needed science fair judges. I signed up, but not as a Meg event.
I would have really liked to do it as a Meg event. There would be new people, and a new experience.
It turns out the first people I saw were people who've known me for years. One introduced herself to the other people at the table; the other gave me enough details that I knew who he was. The other two people were women who worked at the White House ~ one was an Obama appointee!
There are a couple of other school-related events I might do (TSA judge, state chess championship assist [although people know me there ~ it'd be an outing]) but, as much as I'd love to appear as Meg, I won't.
If I ever seriously consider it, please call me out ~ it means I've gone over the edge and my judgement is even more impaired than I think it is.
If it wasn't my kid's school, I'd consider it. I'd fantasise about it. But, like the best fantasies, I'd leave it to my imagination.
Labels:
Simple Pleasures
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Day Off
Last Wednesday, I took a rare day off. I had a use-it-or-lose-it situation, and although we're at a project crunch and I'm working overtime, I thought a free day would do me good.
After breakfast, I changed into a dress ~ a fairly new one that I thought looked a bit off, but as I wore it that day it seemed fine and a good candidate for the upcoming clothing swap. Mid sleeves, lined, zip back, pretty.... I wore it for a few hours and deemed it acceptable.
I did some organising: I cleared off a shelf by consolidating some things and tossing others. I finally started to tackle Boxes In The Closet ~ not clothes, but papers and other things I have kept and I'm not sure why. I made a point of tossing at least as many items as I kept.
I epilated and shaved hands, arms, and legs in preparation for the weekend clothing swap.
I wrote a couple of posts, cropped some pictures, and read a couple of blogs I wanted to catch up on. One belonged to Ali who is a new reader and I'd love it if she'd drop me a note. Heck, I love to hear from you all. Write anytime!
Winter was in remission so I did a bit of grocery shopping ~ in drab, alas. But the few hours in a dress were a fine way of relaxing.
I think I need to figure out how to get a midweek day off every month or so. I felt good at the end of the day!
After breakfast, I changed into a dress ~ a fairly new one that I thought looked a bit off, but as I wore it that day it seemed fine and a good candidate for the upcoming clothing swap. Mid sleeves, lined, zip back, pretty.... I wore it for a few hours and deemed it acceptable.
I did some organising: I cleared off a shelf by consolidating some things and tossing others. I finally started to tackle Boxes In The Closet ~ not clothes, but papers and other things I have kept and I'm not sure why. I made a point of tossing at least as many items as I kept.
I epilated and shaved hands, arms, and legs in preparation for the weekend clothing swap.
I wrote a couple of posts, cropped some pictures, and read a couple of blogs I wanted to catch up on. One belonged to Ali who is a new reader and I'd love it if she'd drop me a note. Heck, I love to hear from you all. Write anytime!
Winter was in remission so I did a bit of grocery shopping ~ in drab, alas. But the few hours in a dress were a fine way of relaxing.
I think I need to figure out how to get a midweek day off every month or so. I felt good at the end of the day!
Labels:
day off,
dressing up
Monday, February 4, 2013
And To All A...
A while back, I wrote about my newest favourite nightgown. I have a new one.
Really short nighties and baby dolls are cute and sexy and SO not me.
Like everything else Meg, I own Too Many nighties. I just took a quick count and there are four short (miniskirt length) gowns and four long (ankle length) gowns. And one baby doll with matching panties.
I also have a few pair of pajamas that I wore when I was at the house. All are from the lingerie department, but now all are in a box, put away in storage. I did leave out one pair of shortie pjs.
As the weather became cooler, I decided I wanted a long flannel gown. Yes, they're incredibly unsexy, but they are gowns and suited to purpose.
Did I say "unsexy?" The flannel gowns I saw were horrid. The patterns were hideous and they looked like no-one without great-grandchildren would wear.
Then I found the gown I'm wearing here. It's like a brushed cotton. It has a soft lining. It is in what I think is my favourite colour ~ purple.
And it's cute. The picture below shows the upper body detail (click for Even More detail).
The slippers are girl Dearforms. It can be hard to find wide girl slippers.
And yes I take my makeup off before going to bed.
Labels:
nighties
Sunday, February 3, 2013
The Duplex
The McCoy brothers are funny. The Duplex is allegedly about two households in a duplex (shocking, huh?). One is a woman and her poodle; the other is a slob (Eno) and his pooch. But the woman shows up less and less ~ mostly for contrast: here's the woman and dog being cute and homey. Here's the man and dog being jerks.
But it's funny. Here's a sample. The pictures are all together, so a single click will enlarge the set.
But it's funny. Here's a sample. The pictures are all together, so a single click will enlarge the set.
Labels:
Glenn McCoy,
The Duplex
Saturday, February 2, 2013
I Think I'm Starting to Understand Shopping
It's FUN. When I was growing up, I knew shopping at electronics stores and stationary stores was fun. As Meg grew up, I learned that shopping for clothes, shoes, cosmetics, and jewelry was fun too. And I learned the difference between buying and shopping. It's pretty much the difference between catching and fishing. Catching means Work Follows. Fishing is fun and relaxing. Sometimes, buying is Catching, and shopping is Fishing.
And since I'm on that fish analogy....
And since I'm on that fish analogy....
and sometimes, shoes are art ~ a thing of beauty |
Labels:
Jim Toomey,
sherman's lagoon,
shopping
Friday, February 1, 2013
Civilian Games Redux
I realised that yesterday, I wrote about prepping to go out but I didn't mention where I was going.
Charity and I braved the snow and cold and went to the "civilian" game meetup again. Charity worked late so I got dressed and did my makeup and was ready to go when she got home. I did take advantage of her the night before by asking her to take out colours that would go with what I was wearing. She suggested the denim skirt. I was going back-and-forth between that and a long black skirt but the boots wouldn't have gone with the black skirt. The weather made up my mind.
Some of the same people were there, including Star (the woman who held the private party, formerly known as "S"). She brought a game called "Vegas Showdown" which allowed for five players. The host was going to play but decided that he'd rather wander and see what all the different games were about. That left two empty seats which Charity and I took.
So we played at a table with two men, two women, and, um, me.
I came in second by one point, but that's not really important.
I was regularly referred to by the two men at the table with female pronouns. No hesitation, none of those air quotes you can hear: "it's 'her' turn." The two women are kind of used to trans people and I wonder if they set the mood by referring to me as female and the guys picked up on it. I didn't notice.
During the game, I joked with the other players and since our table was in the kitchen, with other gamers who wandered in for food or drink. I engaged in a little small talk with the host's (female) roommate and told her how much I loved her tunic top. She took the pictures of the table.
While waiting for other games to wind down, I was watching one of the other games. I turned and noticed another observer looking at me. My mind reading gland is broken, so I don't know if he was thinking "wow she looks great" or "I think she's the oldest woman in the group" or "I thought I knew everybody" or "I wish I could look like that" or maybe he was just wondering what the weather was like and I happened to be in front of him. My ego says I should go with the first.
After our game, we had a long chat with the other woman who was at my table last time. We spoke with the host, told him how much we enjoyed the games and thanked him for opening his house.
Like the preparation, it's becoming routine. And every time I go out, I enjoy being Meg more.
Charity and I braved the snow and cold and went to the "civilian" game meetup again. Charity worked late so I got dressed and did my makeup and was ready to go when she got home. I did take advantage of her the night before by asking her to take out colours that would go with what I was wearing. She suggested the denim skirt. I was going back-and-forth between that and a long black skirt but the boots wouldn't have gone with the black skirt. The weather made up my mind.
Some of the same people were there, including Star (the woman who held the private party, formerly known as "S"). She brought a game called "Vegas Showdown" which allowed for five players. The host was going to play but decided that he'd rather wander and see what all the different games were about. That left two empty seats which Charity and I took.
So we played at a table with two men, two women, and, um, me.
I came in second by one point, but that's not really important.
I was regularly referred to by the two men at the table with female pronouns. No hesitation, none of those air quotes you can hear: "it's 'her' turn." The two women are kind of used to trans people and I wonder if they set the mood by referring to me as female and the guys picked up on it. I didn't notice.
During the game, I joked with the other players and since our table was in the kitchen, with other gamers who wandered in for food or drink. I engaged in a little small talk with the host's (female) roommate and told her how much I loved her tunic top. She took the pictures of the table.
While waiting for other games to wind down, I was watching one of the other games. I turned and noticed another observer looking at me. My mind reading gland is broken, so I don't know if he was thinking "wow she looks great" or "I think she's the oldest woman in the group" or "I thought I knew everybody" or "I wish I could look like that" or maybe he was just wondering what the weather was like and I happened to be in front of him. My ego says I should go with the first.
After our game, we had a long chat with the other woman who was at my table last time. We spoke with the host, told him how much we enjoyed the games and thanked him for opening his house.
Like the preparation, it's becoming routine. And every time I go out, I enjoy being Meg more.
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