Monday, April 15, 2013

No, I Don't Think So

Marian responded to my wearing-a-padded-bra-all-week post by asking if I was trying to get caught.  I don't know if I'm introspective enough to answer that question, so I'll address some more surface motives instead.

I'd like to appear as feminine as possible.  I don't mean androgynous.  I mean feminine.  Sometimes, my appearance might be interpreted as androgynous, but that's not my goal.

There are some obvious clues.

I don't think I've met any other men who wear charm bracelets.  The ring I wear daily is definitely a women's ring.  My socks often have flowers or other designs, or are in a colour you won't find in The Men's Shop.  I carry a "patent leather" tote (it's really vinyl, but we're discussing looks).  Actually, my patent tote is falling apart so I bought a new, slightly larger, black tote.  When I bought it, the woman in the store wanted to put it in a bag.  I said "I can just carry it."  She paused, looked surprised, and giggled and "OK."  I guess that means she's not used to Men Carrying Purses (even if they're not really).

I sometimes wear patterned or brightly coloured tights.  I don't imagine there are many guys in the office wearing a pink or purple shirt and matching tights.

What prompted the question, though, is a week of wearing a bra under my shirt.  I should measure.  I suspect it gave me an A or A+ bust.  I also made sure that the bra (or the cami over it) did not show through my shirt.  I checked in a mirror from every angle I could think of.  I hunched over and checked my back, and if it showed when I really tightened the material but no other time, it was deemed acceptable.  I thrust out my chest, and if it only shows when my shoulders are way back, then that was deemed acceptable too.  One day, I wore a lacy camisole that showed ~ I changed to something plainer.

I also look at how many buttons I can open.  Mostly, of course, just a top button is open.  Some shirts, especially women's shirts, are more comfortable with two open.  I check first to ensure no bits of camisole are showing through.

Although it's rare, I sometimes wear real loafers instead of tennies.  The only ones I own are women's, and they're a bit tight so I wear trouser socks underneath.  No-one has ever commented on this.

A small handful of people have asked me about my bracelet, and I've been wearing it for several years.  No-one has asked me about my ring, but I've only been wearing it for two months.

And if someone said something?  I don't know what I'll say, but I will keep my strict "no stories" rule in place.  Yes, life would be easier with stories, and I have some fiction in mind.  I don't plan to use it though.

And even if I do go over the edge, I'd be extremely surprised if anyone says anything.

Tomorrow: No-one says anything.


  1. I almost always have pantyhose on under my slacks. Of late, more often then not, I have been doing it with covering the hose with socks. If someone were to look closely and put their mind through the proper thought process they would realize that what they see between my cuff and shoe is pantyhose.
    One of the old "No Fear" logos was "If you are not living on the edge you are taking up too much room." For me having visible pantyhose is 'living on the edge'.

  2. I wonder if you would post a picture or two of some of your daily wearings? Many of us have to live vicariously through your blog as well as a few others and pictures are often better than words. Working in the government office as you do I imagine it might be a bit easier than say as in a more civilian office. Although things are definitely getting looser and more acceptable. I was just born too early. Maybe when I completely retire my attire will be the way it always should have been. Lisa K.

  3. Meg -

    I think you have a good handle on things, as we approach the goal of becoming one with our femininity in different ways.

    You socialize with people (in general) separately in either male or female modes, keeping those groups separate, but blend your presentation in male mode. I socialize with many people who know me in both modes, but keep my male and female presentations very separate.

    Your post has got me to start thinking about whether there is an optimal path to expressing the two sides of the gender coin for the pre/non transitioned transgendered - and I may explore this in my blog soon....


  4. for several years i have worn pale pink nail polish with longer nails with verrry few comments ( i just explain that it prevents nail cracking...) and in more recent years a set of pail pink safire post earings. and in the winter in the past under a sweater vest a bra, cami panty hose and pantys along with some light makeup. aside fron the dark bkue eyeliner i have had very few comments. of course these days most people know that i am transgendered ( but not transitioning) so they don't evenbat an eye ;-) .


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