In January, I had to take another of my regular trips to Sierra Vista, AZ. Since I had to fly into/out of Tucson, I normally spent a Meg day there before coming home: I'd drive to Tucson after work on Friday and get an early flight back on Sunday. This Friday, I escaped from SV as early as I could and I changed and went to a synagogue after work.
Charity wanted to "spread her wings" a bit, and I'll flatter myself by suggesting she'd want to see me again and maybe meet Meg.
She flew to Tucson (this was her first time flying solo and only her second time flying), booked herself a room in my hotel, and visited. As soon as services were done, we met (she and Meg met) and went out to dinner.
We had a good time as she hung with mostly Meg. We went to dinner, saw the Sonora Desert Museum together (with Liz), got together with some other friends, did some mall shopping....
We both had the same first leg of the return flight, into Texas. From there, she got on a flight to Memphis and I headed back to Dulles (in drab, alas).
Charity was one of the few person who knew Meg first, met my drab self, then met Meg. She helped me see that knowing "both of me" wasn't a bad or scary thing.
It was a pleasant bit-over-a-day, and I had a really nice time, although I think we both started the visit in a state of terror.
Showing posts with label Tucson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tucson. Show all posts
Monday, November 3, 2014
Friday, February 10, 2012
You Can Get Anything You Want at Alice Rae's
Dorothy has been telling me to visit Alice Rae Fine Intimate Apparel since my first trip to Tucson. I finally made it, although in drab.
My problem with intimate apparel shops is, they're usually outside my price range. I know quality lingerie, like quality wigs, is expensive. I just hate going into a shop where I know I'm out of my price range.
I was looking for serious shapewear. They seem to focus on bras; more on that in a moment.
I made it clear I was looking for items for myself. Terry, who was behind the counter, had no problem with that at all.
I saw one interesting corset ~ it was a heavy material, the better to swear off the inches, and could be put on by one person. There were two rows of eyes for the heavy-duty hooks so as you shrunk your waist you could go to the second set. Terry offered to let me try it on, so I did. She suggested a small might work.
It didn't. I could close one hook on the bottom and that was IT. They had no larger sizes at the moment.
I also tried a shaping camisole, so tight that it had to be pulled up instead of over my head. It did a good job of pulling in my tummy but it also emphasised the fact that I have NO hips at all. Without a bust, I looked like I was stuffed into a sausage wrapping.
Camisoles and shapewear where on racks in the front of the store. As I was looking around I did notice one padded panty, but I forgot to follow up on that. I have one, but it's kind of unsatisfactory and I'd like to try something else, maybe with hip pads as well as butt pads.
I mentioned that I'd like to look for a bra, but I'd need my forms. She pointed out a series of bras that all have pockets for pads. I told her Victoria's Secret measured me and said I was a 42-B but I generally wore a 38-C and closed it to the smallest band I could. She measured me and suggested I might even be a 36, but in that case I'd need a D. (Victoria's Secret doesn't even carry 40 and above and the saleslady tried to sell me a 38, even though she just told me I was a 42.)
Bras seemed to be in the $50 range, which I think is reasonable, even though it's probably twice what I normally pay. I get the double advantage of personal service and helping a small business. I'd rather shop at an Alice Rae than a Victoria's Secret.
It was now approaching closing time and I still had to check in and locate Crossroads, where I had agreed to meet Andrea.
And after I left, I realised I did something really stupid.
Since I hadn't checked in yet, my pads and everything else were in the car. I probably wouldn't try the dress over the pads and new bra (in the shop) but I could have tried on the bra and pads and seen how they fit and how it looked. The store was mostly devoid of customers; it wouldn't have been a big deal since I hadn't hidden what I wanted at all.
Stupid stupid stupid.
Next trip, I'll stop by before I dress if after I dress it'll be too late, and I'll have my pads with me.
My problem with intimate apparel shops is, they're usually outside my price range. I know quality lingerie, like quality wigs, is expensive. I just hate going into a shop where I know I'm out of my price range.
I was looking for serious shapewear. They seem to focus on bras; more on that in a moment.
I made it clear I was looking for items for myself. Terry, who was behind the counter, had no problem with that at all.
I saw one interesting corset ~ it was a heavy material, the better to swear off the inches, and could be put on by one person. There were two rows of eyes for the heavy-duty hooks so as you shrunk your waist you could go to the second set. Terry offered to let me try it on, so I did. She suggested a small might work.
It didn't. I could close one hook on the bottom and that was IT. They had no larger sizes at the moment.
I also tried a shaping camisole, so tight that it had to be pulled up instead of over my head. It did a good job of pulling in my tummy but it also emphasised the fact that I have NO hips at all. Without a bust, I looked like I was stuffed into a sausage wrapping.
Camisoles and shapewear where on racks in the front of the store. As I was looking around I did notice one padded panty, but I forgot to follow up on that. I have one, but it's kind of unsatisfactory and I'd like to try something else, maybe with hip pads as well as butt pads.
I mentioned that I'd like to look for a bra, but I'd need my forms. She pointed out a series of bras that all have pockets for pads. I told her Victoria's Secret measured me and said I was a 42-B but I generally wore a 38-C and closed it to the smallest band I could. She measured me and suggested I might even be a 36, but in that case I'd need a D. (Victoria's Secret doesn't even carry 40 and above and the saleslady tried to sell me a 38, even though she just told me I was a 42.)
Bras seemed to be in the $50 range, which I think is reasonable, even though it's probably twice what I normally pay. I get the double advantage of personal service and helping a small business. I'd rather shop at an Alice Rae than a Victoria's Secret.
It was now approaching closing time and I still had to check in and locate Crossroads, where I had agreed to meet Andrea.
And after I left, I realised I did something really stupid.
Since I hadn't checked in yet, my pads and everything else were in the car. I probably wouldn't try the dress over the pads and new bra (in the shop) but I could have tried on the bra and pads and seen how they fit and how it looked. The store was mostly devoid of customers; it wouldn't have been a big deal since I hadn't hidden what I wanted at all.
Stupid stupid stupid.
Next trip, I'll stop by before I dress if after I dress it'll be too late, and I'll have my pads with me.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Not to Be, It Seems
As I said, I went to bed around 11. I proceeded to wake up around 1 and could NOT fall back to sleep. I finally did, shortly before my alarm went off. That's one strike against Meg going out.
At work, we are in a crunch situation. My staff is expected to put in sixty hour weeks, 10 hours a day, six days a week, for the next couple of weeks. What I didn't know is, I was expected to do the same. On the east coast, they decided our "core hours," when everyone had to be in the office, was from 9 to 5. Well, I have some leeway so I decided the Arizona core hours were 7 to 3. That was better, but I had after-work deadlines:
to get to dinner or services dressed, I had to leave by 3.
to do some shopping (Alice Rae) dressed, I had to leave by 1.
There was no way I could leave before 3. Or at 3. Strike two.
I did get out around 3:30.
Earlier in the day, I decided that services were out (too tired) so I e-mailed Andrea and told her I could meet her around 6:30. I figured anything later and I'd fall asleep at dinner.
On my drive up, I decided that I was just too tired to dress. I could make it to Alice Rae's if I went straight there. I really wanted to go dressed, but I did want to check out this little intimate apparel shop.
On my fourth trip, I finally made it.
At work, we are in a crunch situation. My staff is expected to put in sixty hour weeks, 10 hours a day, six days a week, for the next couple of weeks. What I didn't know is, I was expected to do the same. On the east coast, they decided our "core hours," when everyone had to be in the office, was from 9 to 5. Well, I have some leeway so I decided the Arizona core hours were 7 to 3. That was better, but I had after-work deadlines:
to get to dinner or services dressed, I had to leave by 3.
to do some shopping (Alice Rae) dressed, I had to leave by 1.
There was no way I could leave before 3. Or at 3. Strike two.
I did get out around 3:30.
Earlier in the day, I decided that services were out (too tired) so I e-mailed Andrea and told her I could meet her around 6:30. I figured anything later and I'd fall asleep at dinner.
On my drive up, I decided that I was just too tired to dress. I could make it to Alice Rae's if I went straight there. I really wanted to go dressed, but I did want to check out this little intimate apparel shop.
On my fourth trip, I finally made it.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Travelling Again
As I mentioned, I had another trip to Arizona. It was my shortest trip yet: due to other considerations at work I couldn't go until Wednesday, and due to the fact that I was spending my Meg budget on hotels and meals, I couldn't stay until Sunday.
My suitcase wasn't quite as full as usual. Realistically, the difference between four work overnights and two work overnights is just a shirt and a pair of pants. But Meg's breastforms take up almost half of my case. Add a pair of shoes (two for two days as Meg) and it's easily half. Makeup, jewelry, wig, brush.... It takes a lot of real estate. I think if I was packing for my drab self for those three nights I could have packed in a bowling bag instead of a suitcase that would have to go in the overhead. I check my bag anyway. I don't want to worry about my makeup remover being over three ounces. And I hate lugging a suitcase through the airport.
My plan, as I mentioned a few days ago, was to get out of the office on Friday, drive to Tucson, change, probably go to synagogue again, and meet one of my friends for dinner. I was also eying the casino that was not too far from the hotel. And if could get out early enough, I'd go to Alice Rae's Intimate Apparel. Dorothy has been egging me on ever since we met. Alice Rae's closes at 5:30 which meant an hour before services but I'm sure I could find some additional shopping.
By Thursday night I had gotten rid of my body hair, I tried out (and liked) the lipstick/gloss I brought, and I was ready for Friday night. Since I had to check out in the morning, I packed everything carefully, with my day clothes out and my Meg clothes at the top of the case, and went to bed at around 11 Arizona time. Oddly, I wasn't that tired, even though that was 1am Eastern.
Then things started to fall apart.
My suitcase wasn't quite as full as usual. Realistically, the difference between four work overnights and two work overnights is just a shirt and a pair of pants. But Meg's breastforms take up almost half of my case. Add a pair of shoes (two for two days as Meg) and it's easily half. Makeup, jewelry, wig, brush.... It takes a lot of real estate. I think if I was packing for my drab self for those three nights I could have packed in a bowling bag instead of a suitcase that would have to go in the overhead. I check my bag anyway. I don't want to worry about my makeup remover being over three ounces. And I hate lugging a suitcase through the airport.
My plan, as I mentioned a few days ago, was to get out of the office on Friday, drive to Tucson, change, probably go to synagogue again, and meet one of my friends for dinner. I was also eying the casino that was not too far from the hotel. And if could get out early enough, I'd go to Alice Rae's Intimate Apparel. Dorothy has been egging me on ever since we met. Alice Rae's closes at 5:30 which meant an hour before services but I'm sure I could find some additional shopping.
By Thursday night I had gotten rid of my body hair, I tried out (and liked) the lipstick/gloss I brought, and I was ready for Friday night. Since I had to check out in the morning, I packed everything carefully, with my day clothes out and my Meg clothes at the top of the case, and went to bed at around 11 Arizona time. Oddly, I wasn't that tired, even though that was 1am Eastern.
Then things started to fall apart.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Friday Night Plans
are completely up in the air.
One thing I understand is having expectations leads to disappointment.
Right now, it seems a perfect storm to keep me in drab tonight.
I went to bed late for Arizona time. I woke early for eastern time, so I'm running on less than five hours of sleep (and caffeine).
Candi, a new friend I just started chatting with, is busy tonight. I haven't heard back from Dorothy. I don't want to bother Liz ~ I feel I take up too much of her time. I'd like to get together with Andrea again, but I think I can do that dressed or drab. I was hoping for t-company tonight.
And work is crazy. We're supposed to be on ten hour days, six days a week, for the next few weeks. My responsibilities changed from getting direction for different stakeholders on up to eight different projects to getting direction from one person and leading a team of five. It does sound easier, but I am now a chokepoint in a project I don't understand yet.
So I don't know if I'm going to get out before two, which is my target for dressing for dinner. I did my preliminaries ~ all body hair that needs to go is gone, nails are trimmed and buffed, I checked that I brought everything with me and my contacts are still under solution. I also spent a bit of time carefully shaping and trimming my brows. Since it was only a few weeks since my last trip I didn't have my "pro" do it. I think I may have overdone it ~ another reason to go out!
Even a 7:00 dinner means I need to be out by 3:30 or so.
I expect a quiet evening catching up on some reading I brought with me and early sleep for an early plane.
At least I have my nightie. And my expectations. I may avoid disappointment yet!
One thing I understand is having expectations leads to disappointment.
Right now, it seems a perfect storm to keep me in drab tonight.
I went to bed late for Arizona time. I woke early for eastern time, so I'm running on less than five hours of sleep (and caffeine).
Candi, a new friend I just started chatting with, is busy tonight. I haven't heard back from Dorothy. I don't want to bother Liz ~ I feel I take up too much of her time. I'd like to get together with Andrea again, but I think I can do that dressed or drab. I was hoping for t-company tonight.
And work is crazy. We're supposed to be on ten hour days, six days a week, for the next few weeks. My responsibilities changed from getting direction for different stakeholders on up to eight different projects to getting direction from one person and leading a team of five. It does sound easier, but I am now a chokepoint in a project I don't understand yet.
So I don't know if I'm going to get out before two, which is my target for dressing for dinner. I did my preliminaries ~ all body hair that needs to go is gone, nails are trimmed and buffed, I checked that I brought everything with me and my contacts are still under solution. I also spent a bit of time carefully shaping and trimming my brows. Since it was only a few weeks since my last trip I didn't have my "pro" do it. I think I may have overdone it ~ another reason to go out!
Even a 7:00 dinner means I need to be out by 3:30 or so.
I expect a quiet evening catching up on some reading I brought with me and early sleep for an early plane.
At least I have my nightie. And my expectations. I may avoid disappointment yet!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Time Well Spent
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| Motherhood Maternity? Oh, Come On! |
Instead we just... walked and talked. We looked at some things, we went into a couple of stores but it was a walking-talking day.
I did my other favourite dressed thing: I forgot I was dressed. I was Meg, hanging with her new girlfriend. I didn't even think to ask Aeify to take a picture until we were ready to leave and would you look at the choice of store in the background! That's one store I'll never shop at!
I was at peace. I think Aeify was having a pretty good time too.
I thought it was... I'm missing a word here. Not "odd" or "strange." "Unexpected," yes, but that's not the word I want. I'll try to explain.
When I said I was going out to Arizona and I'd get to spend one "Meg" day, Aeify said she wanted to come out too. I could not imagine why. She lost Penny less than two months earlier. She wanted to go to Tucson, of all places, and spend a bit of treasure for a one-day trip.
But as we chatted I learned that the furthest she had been from home was Orlando, and that was the only time she had ever flown. She wanted to do what I do as Meg: step outside her comfort zone.
The same way I always have "firsts" as Meg, she wanted some "firsts" as an adult on her own.
Then I understood.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Making Up
Saturday morning, I planned to take Aeify to Liz's favourite breakfast place where we'd all meet up and then head to the Sonora Desert Museum, my favourite place in Tucson.
After I showered and put on my cover stick and foundation (and clothes!), I called Aeify and asked her to come down and do my eyes.
I've had a few women do my makeup before, and there's always a problem. The same problem. They want to do something "subtle," like most women would like. I need a plasterer. Many of us do. I'd love to learn how to do more contouring with blush and bronzer and powder. I'd like to try to minimise my nose and change the shape of my face somewhat. Teddy, who did my makeup twice, was a whiz at this. I'd look in the mirror after she did my makeup and I'd see an almost-pretty stranger looking back.
Aeify has some experience with girls like me. She had a little heavier hand, and she knew what she was doing. She had a palette for blue eyes which she left for me as a gift. My eyes looked great when she was done. She used a lighter eyeliner than I do, and used less. The shadow colours looked superb. And, idiot that I am, I didn't think to get a closeup of my eyes. As I said, I hardly have any pictures from Saturday.
She did my blush as well, and used a light hand because she said she usually uses too much.
Shhh.... Don't tell her, but I added a coat of mascara and a little more blush, because, well, I like a bit more colour (since I put powder over my face) and I love mascara.
I did my lips in the same combinaation of colour and gloss as the night before, put on my wig and shoes and we were off with about fifteen minutes to spare.
After I showered and put on my cover stick and foundation (and clothes!), I called Aeify and asked her to come down and do my eyes.
I've had a few women do my makeup before, and there's always a problem. The same problem. They want to do something "subtle," like most women would like. I need a plasterer. Many of us do. I'd love to learn how to do more contouring with blush and bronzer and powder. I'd like to try to minimise my nose and change the shape of my face somewhat. Teddy, who did my makeup twice, was a whiz at this. I'd look in the mirror after she did my makeup and I'd see an almost-pretty stranger looking back.
Aeify has some experience with girls like me. She had a little heavier hand, and she knew what she was doing. She had a palette for blue eyes which she left for me as a gift. My eyes looked great when she was done. She used a lighter eyeliner than I do, and used less. The shadow colours looked superb. And, idiot that I am, I didn't think to get a closeup of my eyes. As I said, I hardly have any pictures from Saturday.
She did my blush as well, and used a light hand because she said she usually uses too much.
Shhh.... Don't tell her, but I added a coat of mascara and a little more blush, because, well, I like a bit more colour (since I put powder over my face) and I love mascara.
I did my lips in the same combinaation of colour and gloss as the night before, put on my wig and shoes and we were off with about fifteen minutes to spare.
Monday, January 23, 2012
What Was I Thinking?
The drive back to the hotel was much better than the drive to the synagogue. The road does some funky things, but it was pretty easy. Although I'm starting to know my way around Tucson a bit, I did follow the GPS when it told me to turn off of Valencia, even though I knew it's only one more turn to the hotel. The GPS way would mean I end up on the right side of the road, instead of a weird sort of u-turn, which I prefer.
Instead it put me onto two unfamiliar and completely unlit roads. I think the lady in the GPS is jealous because I look so fine and she's just a little square box. :D
I stopped in my room for a moment, and made sure Aeify was in the hotel and ready to go.
She was overdressed for dinner as well ~ she did that deliberately, knowing that t-girls often overdress. That was a pleasant surprise.
We had a nice chat on the way to the restaurant. Actually we had a long chat ~ I was sure I knew which street the restaurant was on, but I was wrong. We had to drive around a bit until I finally found it.
I had been to this steakhouse once before, and had a good meal (in drab).
Aeify and I were treated like girlfriends. Someone was asked to show "these ladies" to their table, and "ladies" was the word of the night when they were addressing us.
The second pleasant surprise was when a random waitress came over to our table. She looked at us and said how nice we looked and asked if we were going out. I gave her an expansive hand motion and said "we're here." Then she said we should definitely go out.
I don't know if she was trying to see if we were what we appeared to be. I really don't care. What I DO care about is, I didn't think to pick up my camera at the room and ask this nice waitress if she'd take a picture of us. In fact, I kind of forgot about pictures this trip. I took a lot of animal shots at the museum, but I didn't get many of Meg or Aeify or Liz or Andrea or Dorothy or all of us together, except for some posed restaurant shots. I think I was just enjoying being a girl too much to think about it.
I also think it's too soon to be too relaxed. I need to pay more attention to how I move and how I speak and how I react and I think I'm letting that go somewhat. I have to remember not to do that! And I have to remember to bring my camera and ask for pictures.
Dinner was uneventful. Families and couples sat nearby and I looked at them more than they looked at us. Aeify had the country fried steak, I had the fish and chips (at a steakhouse? What was I thinking?). The dinner portions were huge, and we both left most of our dinner. I'm not sure if I left mine because I was in "girl mode" (I did eat my salad!) or because I was too busy chatting with Aeify. The waitress never slipped; there was no difference between Aeify and me as far as she was concerned. ("Did you ladies leave room for dessert?")
It was late when we got back to the hotel and we went to our respective rooms, but Aeify promised to help me with my makeup the next morning. Saturday was to be breakfast, the Sonora Desert Museum, a little shopping, and dinner with the girls and I could hardly wait!
Instead it put me onto two unfamiliar and completely unlit roads. I think the lady in the GPS is jealous because I look so fine and she's just a little square box. :D
I stopped in my room for a moment, and made sure Aeify was in the hotel and ready to go.
She was overdressed for dinner as well ~ she did that deliberately, knowing that t-girls often overdress. That was a pleasant surprise.
We had a nice chat on the way to the restaurant. Actually we had a long chat ~ I was sure I knew which street the restaurant was on, but I was wrong. We had to drive around a bit until I finally found it.
I had been to this steakhouse once before, and had a good meal (in drab).
Aeify and I were treated like girlfriends. Someone was asked to show "these ladies" to their table, and "ladies" was the word of the night when they were addressing us.
The second pleasant surprise was when a random waitress came over to our table. She looked at us and said how nice we looked and asked if we were going out. I gave her an expansive hand motion and said "we're here." Then she said we should definitely go out.
I don't know if she was trying to see if we were what we appeared to be. I really don't care. What I DO care about is, I didn't think to pick up my camera at the room and ask this nice waitress if she'd take a picture of us. In fact, I kind of forgot about pictures this trip. I took a lot of animal shots at the museum, but I didn't get many of Meg or Aeify or Liz or Andrea or Dorothy or all of us together, except for some posed restaurant shots. I think I was just enjoying being a girl too much to think about it.
I also think it's too soon to be too relaxed. I need to pay more attention to how I move and how I speak and how I react and I think I'm letting that go somewhat. I have to remember not to do that! And I have to remember to bring my camera and ask for pictures.
Dinner was uneventful. Families and couples sat nearby and I looked at them more than they looked at us. Aeify had the country fried steak, I had the fish and chips (at a steakhouse? What was I thinking?). The dinner portions were huge, and we both left most of our dinner. I'm not sure if I left mine because I was in "girl mode" (I did eat my salad!) or because I was too busy chatting with Aeify. The waitress never slipped; there was no difference between Aeify and me as far as she was concerned. ("Did you ladies leave room for dessert?")
It was late when we got back to the hotel and we went to our respective rooms, but Aeify promised to help me with my makeup the next morning. Saturday was to be breakfast, the Sonora Desert Museum, a little shopping, and dinner with the girls and I could hardly wait!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Or What?
So it's Friday night and I'm in a strange town and I'm looking for a dressy Meg activity.I can dress like I just got off work and stop at the mall ~ that's always a possibility, but I don't really need to mingle with the teens who are hanging at the mall.
I could do dinner, but my plans were for a later dinner with Aeify (her blog is here) when she arrives.
So I checked the local synagogues. I go to services occasionally, more often when my boys were younger than now; this year, I haven't been since October.
For those unfamiliar, there are three main branches of Judaism:
* Orthodox, where men and women sit separately and there are three services a day. I wasn't sure where I'd sit so that's out.
* Conservative, which is more egalitarian but they usually focus on the Saturday morning service. This is where I grew up.
* Reform, which I usually attend. There's more of a Hebrew/English mix and the tunes would be more familiar to me. Friday night is the big service of the week, with Saturday morning a close second.
* (and Reconstructionist, which is more fringe and I've never been)
So I looked for reform synagogues and found Or Chadash, which billed itself as "A warm and welcoming community where all can experience God." I looked at their calendar and found a discrepancy so I sent an e-mail asking which time was right. The woman who wrote back said I'd be "welcome at any service" and told me the main service starts at 6:30.
It was also the closest to my hotel, a plus for me. Google maps said it was about 20 minutes away. It looked pretty straightforward: turn right, turn left and that's the road it's on.
I got out of work a bit later than I wanted and people were still trying to get last minute advice. My 2:00 leave turned into 2:25 and I headed for Tucson.
Andrea was off; there were a couple of guys behind the desk. I checked in, carrying three bags: computer, suitcase, and a smaller bag with Meg stuff. Not all of Meg's stuff, but the bag was crammed,
Earlier in the week I did a dry run. I tried my makeup and decided I didn't like either mascara so I bought a new one. I tried an eyeshadow that looked too dark so I switched to a lighter blue for my lids. I tried each of the lipsticks and glosses and found a combination I liked (but didn't love). I tried different jewelry combinations until I found the one I like best. I wanted to video chat with a friend or two, but the wifi at this hotel is pathetic. Regular web pages would time out. I passed on that potential frustration.
So I had sorted everything I was going to wear and put the makeup and jewelry together with undergarments and such in that bulging bag.
I was at the hotel with plenty of time for a leisurely shower and thorough shave and to correct any mistakes I might make while doing my face. I didn't do anything that needed repair, but I wasn't really thrilled with the final product. Something didn't look quite right to my eyes.
I wanted to leave at 6. Any earlier and I'd have too much time before the service started. The time before Jewish services is a social time, and although meeting people is bothering me less, I didn't want to be the only person who knew no-one and I'd be staring at my hands. I didn't want to be late, but if I had to sit in the car for a couple of minutes to be just about on time, that would be OK. Since the ride was straightforward and google said 20 minutes, I figure a couple of minutes after six would be fine.
As I said, google said it was a straightforward trip. My GPS had other ideas.
It said it was a 30 minute drive, not 20, said the GPS. OK, I did leave at 6 and I'd be about on time, even if google was wrong. No worries.
As I drove down Alvernon, the long street that the synagogue was on, my GPS decided I needed to turn, that Alvernon did not continue. I dutifully (stupidly) turned.
It had me make a couple of more turns, then wanted me to go onto a street clearly labelled "No Outlet." I declined, and turned in what I thought was the right direction to rejoin Alvernon.
When I finally caught up with it, I ignored the lady's voice and just kept driving. The GPS started showing no road, only green fields and she was silent.
Eventually, I was back on what the device thought was a road. It told me to turn and I did not ~ no fooling me again! Alas, now I was on a different road: Alvernon made a right turn and continued. I went back past the turn and back again before I did make that turn. Alvernon fooled me once more with another left and I went past it, turned around and went back.
I considered taking this as a sign and giving up... that's the funny thing about signs. I was very late, but was it a sign that I should go home, or maybe I was supposed to avoid a problem at the start of the service, or maybe it was a test to see how committed I was to going to services that night. Or maybe no-one was paying attention and I just went on aimlessly. Or everyone was paying attention and they had bets on how late I'd be.
By the way, driving an hour in high-heels isn't bad at all. Getting up is, since it puts more strain on your calf muscles as you're pressing the pedals and your foot has to straighten more. I had an uncomfortable few steps until my legs settled down.
Or Chadash is a campus of several connected or nearly connected buildings. I parked at the closest spot to the entrance where I saw cars, which meant it was furthest from where I wanted to be.
It was dark, but not yet cold. I didn't have a coat but I felt fine. My heels seemed to make a LOT of noise on the sidewalk and I walked past the office which was well lit and occupied and I'm sure people inside were wondering why some woman (hey, I was far away and it was dark) was walking to the services a half-hour late.
Oh... typical Friday night services are 60-90 minutes with an "oneg" afterwards: wine, bread, other assorted fruits, cake, cookies, coffee. So I missed somewhere between a third and a half of the service. And I planned to skip the Oneg ~ Aeify would be waiting.
This is getting kind of long, so I'll finish this up tomorrow.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I Know What You Did Last Weekend
This is just a "Oh My God! I ran out of time unpacking, running around, getting my expense report ready" preview of Tucson.
Friday night, I put on the dress I packed and went to services at a local reform synagogue. I then went back to the hotel where I went dinner with Aeify, who flew in from Memphis to get away from the place for a tiny bit.
Saturday morning, I put on a more casual top and skirt and went to breakfast with Aeify and Liz. Liz (Sonora Sage) showed us around the Sonora Desert Museum, including the raptor free flight, which was incredible, but hopefully not indescribable.
Aeify and I headed over to the Tucson mall to do a little window shopping before going to a Chinese restaurant with Liz, Andrea, and Dorothy.
All of the players were mentioned in previous posts, but I'll point you at them or remind you as I write about a wonderful weekend over the next few days.
There Will Be Pictures.
Friday night, I put on the dress I packed and went to services at a local reform synagogue. I then went back to the hotel where I went dinner with Aeify, who flew in from Memphis to get away from the place for a tiny bit.
Saturday morning, I put on a more casual top and skirt and went to breakfast with Aeify and Liz. Liz (Sonora Sage) showed us around the Sonora Desert Museum, including the raptor free flight, which was incredible, but hopefully not indescribable.
Aeify and I headed over to the Tucson mall to do a little window shopping before going to a Chinese restaurant with Liz, Andrea, and Dorothy.
All of the players were mentioned in previous posts, but I'll point you at them or remind you as I write about a wonderful weekend over the next few days.
There Will Be Pictures.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Travel Day!
Yesterday, I flew out to Tucson again for a few days at Sierra Vista, AZ. Before returning home, I'll spend a day in Tucson, yes, as Meg. I have a couple of ideas, but I'm going to keep them to myself right now.
As usual, I not only overpacked for Meg, but I added some last-minute things as well. To make room, I didn't bring regular camisoles for work, and I skipped one regular shirt. I'll have to double up or buy a polo (women's?) shirt before I go home. I also skipped on contact solution, shaving gel, and Nair. I picked those things up in Arizona, and they'll stay here when I go home, unless I miraculously find room.
The last-minute extras included another lipgloss, some new eyeshadows, an eyeliner pencil (my old one was getting small), and my watch (yay! I thought I misplaced it!) This is on top of jewelry for at least three outings, lipsticks for at least four sets of lips, too much gloss, a variety of eye shadows, two pairs of shoes.... I think I need to have a locker here with an extra set of my clothes and stuff. Maybe I can leave some things with a Tucson friend and pick everything up when I arrive here.
For one evening and one day, I have two skirts, two tops, and a dress. Friday night, if all goes as planned, will be a dress event. And I may check out the thrift and inexpensive clothing shops, looking for alternatives. And maybe I'll check out Dillard's too.
I was a little nervous yesterday. Not because I wore flowery socks, which I always do on travel days (hey, if I'm taking my shoes off I want my socks to look good!). Not because I wore a lacy camisole under my (women's denim) shirt.
I've been wearing clear lip gloss. Before I left the house, I put on a non-clear lip gloss. MAC "Viva Glam V," which is close to my natural lip colour but definitely glossy. Glossy glossy. More glossy than what I've been wearing. I figured, I'm on a plane with strangers. I'm in an office I haven't been to in three months. People will not even notice. I checked in at my hotel before going to the office and touched up the gloss. And I got nervous again. I think I was nervous because I wasn't ready for what I was going to say:
major story: "It's a new chapstick thing. I don't think I'll use THAT again!"
minor story: "Really? Glossy? Really?"
no story: "It's lipgloss. I think it looks good."
I think I have to go with no story. It's the only way I can look at myself in the mirror. And admire my glossy lips.
By the way, nobody noticed. So far.
I'm afraid I'm going to escalate this to the point where I'm coming to the office wearing fishnets under my pants, an unpadded bra, and lipstick, blush, and mascara.
That's a lie. I'm not really afraid. I'm just wondering where it's going to go from here.
As usual, I not only overpacked for Meg, but I added some last-minute things as well. To make room, I didn't bring regular camisoles for work, and I skipped one regular shirt. I'll have to double up or buy a polo (women's?) shirt before I go home. I also skipped on contact solution, shaving gel, and Nair. I picked those things up in Arizona, and they'll stay here when I go home, unless I miraculously find room.
The last-minute extras included another lipgloss, some new eyeshadows, an eyeliner pencil (my old one was getting small), and my watch (yay! I thought I misplaced it!) This is on top of jewelry for at least three outings, lipsticks for at least four sets of lips, too much gloss, a variety of eye shadows, two pairs of shoes.... I think I need to have a locker here with an extra set of my clothes and stuff. Maybe I can leave some things with a Tucson friend and pick everything up when I arrive here.
For one evening and one day, I have two skirts, two tops, and a dress. Friday night, if all goes as planned, will be a dress event. And I may check out the thrift and inexpensive clothing shops, looking for alternatives. And maybe I'll check out Dillard's too.
I was a little nervous yesterday. Not because I wore flowery socks, which I always do on travel days (hey, if I'm taking my shoes off I want my socks to look good!). Not because I wore a lacy camisole under my (women's denim) shirt.
I've been wearing clear lip gloss. Before I left the house, I put on a non-clear lip gloss. MAC "Viva Glam V," which is close to my natural lip colour but definitely glossy. Glossy glossy. More glossy than what I've been wearing. I figured, I'm on a plane with strangers. I'm in an office I haven't been to in three months. People will not even notice. I checked in at my hotel before going to the office and touched up the gloss. And I got nervous again. I think I was nervous because I wasn't ready for what I was going to say:
major story: "It's a new chapstick thing. I don't think I'll use THAT again!"
minor story: "Really? Glossy? Really?"
no story: "It's lipgloss. I think it looks good."
I think I have to go with no story. It's the only way I can look at myself in the mirror. And admire my glossy lips.
By the way, nobody noticed. So far.
I'm afraid I'm going to escalate this to the point where I'm coming to the office wearing fishnets under my pants, an unpadded bra, and lipstick, blush, and mascara.
That's a lie. I'm not really afraid. I'm just wondering where it's going to go from here.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Girls' Day Out - All Good Things Must End
But first a public service announcement: please consider going to a Transgender Day of Remembrance event this coming weekend. It's everywhere. Show your support so maybe next year no women will die because of who they are or how they dress.
After saying goodbye to Erin and Liz, I drove back to the hotel, making a short stop at a gas station. The other patrons ignored me and I ignored them.
Many years ago, after my first solo, I stopped at a gas station on my way home. Since the solo was at a friend's party, this was my first real, live, on-my-own mixing with people. No matter that it was kind of remote from actually talking to someone, as if I went into a grocery store or something ~ I was out, on my own, being a woman for the very first time.
I thought about that night and I felt like a whole lifetime was compressed into the few years since. I was now about six years and eight months old. I guess that makes it about eight girl years to one guy year. I have a lot of catching up to do!
The walk back to my room was anti-climactic. No-one was around, and I was too tired to do something silly like tell the desk clerk I left my key in the room. And I would have had to call the clerk from the back room anyway! And by now, I'm sure the driver told everyone "wait til you hear what I saw last night!" I still wonder if Andrea let the driver in on her own nonstandard lifestyle.
I didn't want to change when I got back, as is the norm now. But it was after five, and that meant it was more like eight pm to me. I just had a drink at lunchtime, and I was a bit hungry from the walking and a bit tired from a pretty full and extremely fun day. Plus, with my camera being recalcitrant, I couldn't get any "I'm back" pictures. I puttered around the room a bit, moving clothes and repacking and when I got to the point that I had to pack what I was wearing, I reluctantly decided to change.
Yes, I could have gone out to dinner dressed but I think I was done for the day. I'm not sure how I'd do if I put myself in a position where I had to be Meg for a couple of days or more. I'm thinking of putting myself to the test next month, but I'm not sure it'll happen.
All good things must end. Alas, all fantastic things must end as well.
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| The ladies, Liz and Erin |
Many years ago, after my first solo, I stopped at a gas station on my way home. Since the solo was at a friend's party, this was my first real, live, on-my-own mixing with people. No matter that it was kind of remote from actually talking to someone, as if I went into a grocery store or something ~ I was out, on my own, being a woman for the very first time.
I thought about that night and I felt like a whole lifetime was compressed into the few years since. I was now about six years and eight months old. I guess that makes it about eight girl years to one guy year. I have a lot of catching up to do!
The walk back to my room was anti-climactic. No-one was around, and I was too tired to do something silly like tell the desk clerk I left my key in the room. And I would have had to call the clerk from the back room anyway! And by now, I'm sure the driver told everyone "wait til you hear what I saw last night!" I still wonder if Andrea let the driver in on her own nonstandard lifestyle.
Yes, I could have gone out to dinner dressed but I think I was done for the day. I'm not sure how I'd do if I put myself in a position where I had to be Meg for a couple of days or more. I'm thinking of putting myself to the test next month, but I'm not sure it'll happen.
All good things must end. Alas, all fantastic things must end as well.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Girls' Day Out - A Day at the Museum
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| Liz, crashing |
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| Erin Sets Me Straight (again) |
Liz rode with me to the Pima Air Museum, since my car was a bit more comfortable than Erin's. We caught up a bit on the ride and I had a wonderful time, chatting and people watching.
The museum is pretty good. I was very surprised ~ it seems to be a well-kept secret. Many of the planes are outdoors, and there are five or six hangars with indoor exhibits. My biggest complaint was the terrain: it was kind of sandy and the heel on my mid-heel shoes sunk in sand more than once, putting me more than a little off-balance. I thought these were the most comfortable shoes I'd ever owned, but I think the uneven paths (and no paths) tempered that a bit. No matter ~ even after a full day the shoes felt pretty good, although I wouldn't want to try running or dancing at that point!
While Erin (the smart one) went back to her car to get a more comfortable pair of shoes, Liz and I tried the space docking simulator. She went first and seemed intent on crashing into the Earth. I used her effort as my lesson and docked easily (don't tell Liz if I had gone first I probably would have ended up orbiting Saturn).
Erin knows more about aircraft than anyone I've ever met. She transitioned ten years ago, and in an earlier life she avoided a court martial by accepting a discharge ~ for being caught dressed. I don't think even this post-DADT era would prevent that. We've maybe moved from third-class to second-class citizens but wherever we're heading, we're not there yet.
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| Liz, my cute skirt, and Erin |
You can read a bit about Erin here.
We spent pretty much the full day looking at aircraft and chatting endlessly. At lunch, we decided to go to the one hangar we skipped because it didn't sound that interesting. I'm glad we went.
That final hangar was the 390th Memorial Museum. It's kind of a museum within the museum and it's dedicated to one squadron of B-17s based in England. There are banners around the museum telling the fate of the planes and crews of each plane and there was one restored B-17 in the hangar.
But the best part was when an elderly docent came up to us and said "ladies, this is the best day of all of the days I've spent in this museum!" I thought he meant meeting us, but instead he went on to explain to us "ladies" (and he included me!) that a flier from the 390th had visited and was there right now. He had told some stories about the war to the docent and it turns out he (the flier, not the docent) was reported Killed In Action. When informed of this, the 90+ man quoted Twain: "reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." I considered going over to him and saying "hi. I'm what you were fighting for" but I wasn't sure his heart could take it. :)
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| I'm the pilot! We're DOOMED |
Before we got in our cars, I wanted a picture of each of us in pairs: Liz and Erin, Liz and me, Erin and me. That's when we discovered my camera was seriously misbehaving. No matter. It was still a great day, and, as I said, a dream fulfilled: my first Girls' Day Out.
I hope I'm not boring anyone, but please consider going to a Transgender Day of Remembrance event this coming weekend. It's international. You don't even have to travel to another country! I'll be at the Fairfax event.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Girls' Day Out - The Next Logical Step
(Before getting to the post, I want to say again: Please consider going to a Transgender Day of Remembrance event this coming weekend. I'll be at the Fairfax event.)
"So how did you find the women in Tucson?"
"I just opened the door marked 'women' and there they were!"
I walked up to the men's room door, turned sharply, and went into the women's room.
It was as empty as the hotel corridor. I picked a stall, closed the door and... the door wouldn't lock. I went into the next stall and the lock was good enough. I hung my purse on a hook, moved everything I had to move and sat down.
A little digression here.
I bought an incredibly stretchy and tight Spanx-type camisole to replace the ones I couldn't find but knew I brought with me. Funny thing.... Friday night, I found them in the only compartment I didn't empty completely.
I brought a "club" dress with me. It's purple, a tad short, very stretchy and I love it. There's a problem: there's a li'l bit of a bulge. I thought I might buy something to hide that and be able to wear it if I went out with some of the ladies. When I tried the dress on over this camisole it looked great and there was no sign of a bulge! And this was without my constant companion, my waist cinch. I found the perfect undergarment!
I also picked this camisole because it had a higher neck and the scoop of the top I was planning to wear was a bit low. I wanted a kind of "crescent moon" look. I wasn't even looking at the slimming aspect. I even picked a large because the straps are further apart and I'd get a better look, even though I thought a medium would work, because it was so stretchy.
In reality, it was so tight that I couldn't even pull it over my head! I had to step into it and pull it up. But, again, the look was great.
I had a choice of three skirts that I bought last week, as I mentioned before. I decided to go with the longer skirt, because it just looked and felt great. If it was a few inches shorter I wouldn't have minded, but it was swingy, pretty, and fit perfectly. But I really needed my cinch, so I had the cinch and camisole.
I didn't get to wear that dress, but I wore the cami under my top as you can see above.
OK, back to the ladies' room. My stockings made things a bit easier but I still had to figure out where to put the skirt, skirt lining, cinch, camisole, and the bottom of my top. Then I had to get everything back to where it was, and make sure everything was smooth and straight. It was a pain, but such a singularly feminine experience that I really didn't mind. I'm always in awe, every time I do something for the first time that women do regularly. And I'm glad my hose was hosed so I had on the stockings. And I'm glad I at least knew that stockings/garters go on before panties do!
I touched up my lipstick in the stall and exited a still-empty ladies' room. But that wasn't my fault or my plan. It's like the empty hotel lobby: if someone was there and wanted to interact, that was OK, but I wasn't going to look for people to interact with. Especially there in the ladies' room.
"So how did you find the women in Tucson?"
"I just opened the door marked 'women' and there they were!"
I walked up to the men's room door, turned sharply, and went into the women's room.
It was as empty as the hotel corridor. I picked a stall, closed the door and... the door wouldn't lock. I went into the next stall and the lock was good enough. I hung my purse on a hook, moved everything I had to move and sat down.
A little digression here.
I bought an incredibly stretchy and tight Spanx-type camisole to replace the ones I couldn't find but knew I brought with me. Funny thing.... Friday night, I found them in the only compartment I didn't empty completely.
I brought a "club" dress with me. It's purple, a tad short, very stretchy and I love it. There's a problem: there's a li'l bit of a bulge. I thought I might buy something to hide that and be able to wear it if I went out with some of the ladies. When I tried the dress on over this camisole it looked great and there was no sign of a bulge! And this was without my constant companion, my waist cinch. I found the perfect undergarment!
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| Click to see the cami/top effect. Or to stare at my boobs. :D |
In reality, it was so tight that I couldn't even pull it over my head! I had to step into it and pull it up. But, again, the look was great.
I had a choice of three skirts that I bought last week, as I mentioned before. I decided to go with the longer skirt, because it just looked and felt great. If it was a few inches shorter I wouldn't have minded, but it was swingy, pretty, and fit perfectly. But I really needed my cinch, so I had the cinch and camisole.
I didn't get to wear that dress, but I wore the cami under my top as you can see above.
OK, back to the ladies' room. My stockings made things a bit easier but I still had to figure out where to put the skirt, skirt lining, cinch, camisole, and the bottom of my top. Then I had to get everything back to where it was, and make sure everything was smooth and straight. It was a pain, but such a singularly feminine experience that I really didn't mind. I'm always in awe, every time I do something for the first time that women do regularly. And I'm glad my hose was hosed so I had on the stockings. And I'm glad I at least knew that stockings/garters go on before panties do!
I touched up my lipstick in the stall and exited a still-empty ladies' room. But that wasn't my fault or my plan. It's like the empty hotel lobby: if someone was there and wanted to interact, that was OK, but I wasn't going to look for people to interact with. Especially there in the ladies' room.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Girls' Day Out - It Starts with Breakfast
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| Meg at the Museum. Ain't I cute? :D |
My GPS had problems finding the restaurant. I finally set it to the highest house number on the street and it said it would take 15 minutes.
Just before I put on my top, skirt, shoes, wig, and jewelry I checked google maps. It found the restaurant. It turns out the street name changes slightly as it leaves Tucson proper and it was actually about 30 minutes away. And it was now 30 minutes before I was to meet Liz and Erin. I packed everything up and finished getting dressed as quickly as I could.
I again walked out through an empty hall, into an empty elevator, through an empty lobby to my car. There wasn't even anyone behind the desk! I assume whoever is keeping an eye on me (I think she's also my muse) was keeping me out of harm.
The drive to the restaurant was uneventful and Liz and Erin were waiting outside for me. After introductions, smiles, and hugs we went inside.
I was treated as a lady just as much as the other two were. We chatted our way through breakfast and eventually decided we needed to move on if we were going to do anything else that day. Erin knows way more about aircraft than any ten people I know, but she had never been to the local air museum. I like aircraft, and I have been to several air museums: two near DC, the Intrepid in New York, Wright-Patterson (Ohio), Warner-Robbins (Georgia). I figured this was a local museum, good for an hour or two.
As we were about to get into our cars, Erin received a phone call. While she was yapping, I decided it might be better for me to use the ladies' room here rather than at the air museum. Liz offered to accompany me; she knows I'm a bit worried about using the restroom. I decided I needed to solo, so I did.
Some housekeeping: Please consider going to a Transgender Day of Remembrance event this coming weekend. I'll be at the Fairfax event (alas, in drab, unless something amazing happens).
Also Joan who commented yesterday ~ drop me a note, OK?
Monday, November 14, 2011
Girls' Day Out
One of my dreams is to spend an evening, or a day, with the girls.
It's rare. I wish it was less so. The only time I'd really consider a Girls' Day Out was when I went to lunch with my old boss and coworker on (almost) Halloween.
If I stretch it, I could call the clothing swaps Girls' Days Out, but they're really not. I just happen to be in a room with a few dozen ladies. I could go to the Running of the Brides and be in the same kind of group of women. Well, there would be the added excitement of possibly getting stomped to death.
Even the lunch was not really a Girls' Day Out. For a real Girls' Day Out it would have to be a planned event. I was sort of sprung on my old boss.
So I'm back at zero. There were a few times I went out with the women who did my makeup, but that was one-on-one. Or when I went out with Kim (for shopping and nails ~ wow). Or when I went out with Liz... it was a special day because she's a special lady, but still... one-on-one.
I finally had my Girls' Day Out. We had a plan to spend a day together. We did, just the three of us girls. Or at least two girls and Meg. But I was accepted as one of the group, and that made a great day exceptional.
Here we are at the Pima air museum.
It's rare. I wish it was less so. The only time I'd really consider a Girls' Day Out was when I went to lunch with my old boss and coworker on (almost) Halloween.
If I stretch it, I could call the clothing swaps Girls' Days Out, but they're really not. I just happen to be in a room with a few dozen ladies. I could go to the Running of the Brides and be in the same kind of group of women. Well, there would be the added excitement of possibly getting stomped to death.
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| Liz, Meg, Erin |
Even the lunch was not really a Girls' Day Out. For a real Girls' Day Out it would have to be a planned event. I was sort of sprung on my old boss.
So I'm back at zero. There were a few times I went out with the women who did my makeup, but that was one-on-one. Or when I went out with Kim (for shopping and nails ~ wow). Or when I went out with Liz... it was a special day because she's a special lady, but still... one-on-one.
I finally had my Girls' Day Out. We had a plan to spend a day together. We did, just the three of us girls. Or at least two girls and Meg. But I was accepted as one of the group, and that made a great day exceptional.
Here we are at the Pima air museum.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Dinner with Dorothy, part II
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| Andrea took the pictures |
Eventually, we arrived in a very active part of town. She said it was near the uni, which probably accounts for a lot of the people in the streets. It was like Georgetown in DC, or Provincetown on Cape Cod, or almost anywhere from midtown down in Manhattan, or Charlottesville in Virginia, or Chinatown in London.
There were lots of college-age kids, lots of little boutique types of shops, lots of restaurants, and not a lot of parking. Being Halloween week there were quite a few costumes. We went into a shop that was selling costumes ~ I was tempted to buy something and change, but I'd rather be just me. I go out so rarely, I want Meg to be out. Maybe next Halloween I'll feel more comfortable in a girl costume. Maybe something like an old western saloon girl dress, or maybe a Renaissance dress. Or supergirl.
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| No idea why we traded places |
But we had fun, we talked non-stop, and if anyone was watching us, they would have thought we were lesbians. Don't get the wrong idea! By that I mean, we were both checking out the young ladies walking past. There were some very pretty outfits on the ladies strutting past our table. We both liked the waitress' skirts.
Afterwards, Dorothy asked our waitress if she could give us a "Kodak moment," and she happily obliged.
Then we chatted the whole ride back.
I already wrote about what happened back at the hotel, so you can just look here if you missed it. Andrea was great, and a wonderful surprise ending to a wonderful evening. Andrea took these pictures. In the second, Dorothy was saying to me, in a sing-songy voice, "my boobs are bigger than your boobs."
I had promised to meet Liz and Erin at 9 the next morning. I was still trying to stay on eastern time and not have to get up too much earlier than normal on Sunday, so I wanted to get up around 5. I also already wrote about what happened after I went up to my room, so I won't bore you with that twice.
But I really didn't want the evening to end. If I didn't have a full day planned for Saturday, I probably would have encouraged Dorothy to hang out and I would have stayed up all night with Dorothy and Andrea. Maybe we would have invited the van driver to join us.
Dorothy, by the way, is divorced (the too-common story), and spends 90% of her non-work time as Dorothy. I can only fantasize about what that's like.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Dinner with Dorothy, part I
Tucson Arizona has about 520,000 people living there. That comes out at about 2,800 people per square mile.
Fairfax County, where I live, has about twice as many people in about twice the area. But Fairfax is weird. In the middle of the county sit the cities of Alexandria (where I work), Arlington, Falls Church, Vienna, and Fairfax City. Fairfax is pretty big and there are sections which are pretty underpopulated as opposed to the close-in suburbs. Alexandria and Arlington together are about a quarter the size of Tucson but have over 340,000 people. That's around 8,300 people per square mile.
I didn't know these numbers when I drove from Sierra Vista to Tucson but when I was warned there would be "lots of traffic," I considered that A Good Thing.
It meant I could leave early and co-workers will think I was smart because I was beating the traffic. It also meant I didn't expect my trip to be any longer than usual.
Tucson traffic is to Washington-area traffic as a home aquarium is to Sea World.
So I started my day extra-early and left by 3 or so.
The plan was to meet Dorothy around 7, for dinner. If I could get there early, Meg would join her. If not, well, that was less than ideal but a possibility too.
I got to the hotel in plenty of time and Andrea (the "A" of recent posts ~ she said I could use her name) checked me in.
I'm probably going to repeat some of what I wrote starting with this post ~ I was pretty busy and disjointed last week and I'd like to try to be a bit more orderly.
At 5, it was time to get started. I was in my room early enough to shower and moisturise and shave my face and touch up arms and chest ~ just a little bit. I did my makeup and dressed and loaded my purse and put on my wig and jewelry and slipped into my shoes exactly at 7 ~ just as the phone rang. It was Dorothy. She had arrived. She said she was going to look for a parking space but I said I could come out to the parking lot.
I stepped out of my room to an empty hallway. I got into an empty elevator. On the main level, I thought the lobby was to the right, but it was to the left. I took a step to the right with my left foot, then realised I was going the wrong way so I crossed my leg and stepped to the left with my right foot. I probably looked pretty stupid doing that, so, of course, I had an audience. Someone was close by, also heading towards the lobby. I walked on, with the gentleman right behind me. I wonder if he would have offered to help me up if my manoeuver resulted in a fall.
Andrea was still behind the desk, and I saw only one other person ~ a woman sitting on a sofa which faced away from the front desk.
I have a habit of focussing. I don't know if it's a bad habit, but it has served me poorly on occasion. I am known to walk into a room of people I know, talk to the one I was planning on talking to and walking out ignoring the others, even if they're riding tigers or on fire.
My focus was on meeting Dorothy in the parking lot. I smiled and nodded to Andrea, I looked at the woman on the sofa who said "hi." I said "hi" back, because that's what Meg should do, right? Internally, I noticed that she had a deepish voice, like mine, and maybe my voice is OK after all. But I kept walking.
I didn't see Dorothy's car in front of the hotel, just the airport shuttle. I went out to my car to grab something (I can't remember what now) and looked around. Then I had a flash of insight and I called Dorothy. She said "hello?" and I said "did I just walk past you sitting in the lobby?"
Yup.
I didn't pick her. She picked me, but thought I was trying to lose the guy who was close behind me!
I went back in, we said hellos, and went on our way.
Fairfax County, where I live, has about twice as many people in about twice the area. But Fairfax is weird. In the middle of the county sit the cities of Alexandria (where I work), Arlington, Falls Church, Vienna, and Fairfax City. Fairfax is pretty big and there are sections which are pretty underpopulated as opposed to the close-in suburbs. Alexandria and Arlington together are about a quarter the size of Tucson but have over 340,000 people. That's around 8,300 people per square mile.
I didn't know these numbers when I drove from Sierra Vista to Tucson but when I was warned there would be "lots of traffic," I considered that A Good Thing.
It meant I could leave early and co-workers will think I was smart because I was beating the traffic. It also meant I didn't expect my trip to be any longer than usual.
Tucson traffic is to Washington-area traffic as a home aquarium is to Sea World.
So I started my day extra-early and left by 3 or so.
I got to the hotel in plenty of time and Andrea (the "A" of recent posts ~ she said I could use her name) checked me in.
I'm probably going to repeat some of what I wrote starting with this post ~ I was pretty busy and disjointed last week and I'd like to try to be a bit more orderly.
At 5, it was time to get started. I was in my room early enough to shower and moisturise and shave my face and touch up arms and chest ~ just a little bit. I did my makeup and dressed and loaded my purse and put on my wig and jewelry and slipped into my shoes exactly at 7 ~ just as the phone rang. It was Dorothy. She had arrived. She said she was going to look for a parking space but I said I could come out to the parking lot.
I stepped out of my room to an empty hallway. I got into an empty elevator. On the main level, I thought the lobby was to the right, but it was to the left. I took a step to the right with my left foot, then realised I was going the wrong way so I crossed my leg and stepped to the left with my right foot. I probably looked pretty stupid doing that, so, of course, I had an audience. Someone was close by, also heading towards the lobby. I walked on, with the gentleman right behind me. I wonder if he would have offered to help me up if my manoeuver resulted in a fall.
Andrea was still behind the desk, and I saw only one other person ~ a woman sitting on a sofa which faced away from the front desk.
I have a habit of focussing. I don't know if it's a bad habit, but it has served me poorly on occasion. I am known to walk into a room of people I know, talk to the one I was planning on talking to and walking out ignoring the others, even if they're riding tigers or on fire.
My focus was on meeting Dorothy in the parking lot. I smiled and nodded to Andrea, I looked at the woman on the sofa who said "hi." I said "hi" back, because that's what Meg should do, right? Internally, I noticed that she had a deepish voice, like mine, and maybe my voice is OK after all. But I kept walking.
I didn't see Dorothy's car in front of the hotel, just the airport shuttle. I went out to my car to grab something (I can't remember what now) and looked around. Then I had a flash of insight and I called Dorothy. She said "hello?" and I said "did I just walk past you sitting in the lobby?"
Yup.
I didn't pick her. She picked me, but thought I was trying to lose the guy who was close behind me!
I went back in, we said hellos, and went on our way.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Things I Don't Do
I don't sing. I don't use firearms. I don't juggle. I don't box or wrestle. I don't follow soccer.
The list goes on and on.
Meg has a list too, and one of my goals is to shorten it. Every time I remove an item it means I've stepped out of my comfort zone at least a tiny bit and stepped into my Meg role. At least a tiny bit.
Last Saturday morning, in Tucson, I had breakfast with Liz and Erin. Afterwards, we went to the Pima Air Museum. Before leaving the restaurant, I thought it would probably be wise to use the ladies' room. This is something I have feared, and therefore avoided, so far. The only time I had used the ladies' room before was (coincidentally) with Liz, and she steered me towards a little-used restroom that time.
I didn't do anything stupid, like head towards the wrong door. The room was empty the entire time I was in there, which was longer than I expected. Trying to organise my cinch and camisole and skirt and skirt lining to sit down was a challenge. Trying to make sure everything was organised correctly before opening the stall door was the second challenge. I thought there should be a mirror in the stall, but who'd want to be looking at themselves at that particular moment?
One taboo down. I touched up my lipstick using a small mirror, in the stall. Next time, I'll use the mirror on the wall. That's the next push to expand my self-imposed bubble.
What's left? Puh-lenty.
* I own some very feminine articles of clothing. Lace, ruffles, sequins, embroidery, and so on. I avoid them. I know I'm being read. I don't know what that has to do with my not dressing very femininely. I don't know if women would look at me and say "well, he's not afraid to dress UP" or if they would look at me and say "it's bad enough that he's dressing, but that's WAY over the top!" Or if they'd care at all. I love feminine clothes, and I'm getting there a bit, with brighter colours and swingier skirts, but I have limits and they're keeping Me from becoming Meg.
* I still haven't eaten alone in a restaurant. I'd feel boxed in. If people want to hassle me, I can be stuck in a booth and I wouldn't be able to get up to leave easily. I've never had a problem, so maybe this fits under the "maintain vigilance" heading, but it makes me nervous and I try to trust my gut. I mean, it IS much larger than my brain (and I'm working on that). There's also that ladies' room thing, although I'll have to go whether I'm eating alone or with friends. I have eaten alone in a food court. I have ordered takeaway at a restaurant. I have yet to sit down to a meal alone.
* I haven't worn any kind-of-short skirts. I think just above the knee is the highest I've tried.
* I haven't worn platform/very high heel shoes. This is probably due to lack of finding them in my size more than anything else.
* I haven't worn stockings and a garter belt. Oh wait, I did that Saturday, although I hadn't planned on it.
In the past six months,
* I have gone out barelegged, although I think this is A Bad Idea.
* I have worn open-toed shoes (since I was barelegged, why not).
* I have worn long skirts. I think my legs are OK and why not show them off? But to me, long skirts mean more formal and a bit more blending in with the other ladies.
* I have worn stockings and a garter belt. :)
* I introduced Meg and my male self to a relative stranger.
* I made a transsexual friend. Well, I hope she's my friend. Maybe I should just say "I met a transsexual."
* I shaved my underarms and shoulders enough that I could wear a tank top (which I haven't) or at least cap sleeves (which I have).
I'm missing things in both categories, I'm sure. I would LOVE to hear about your comfort zones and how you've been breaching the self-imposed cage and what's left. Anything from "I wear glossy chapstick as a guy" to "I came out to a friend" to "I went to a club" to "I shave my arms and legs now" to "I hope to go on my porch" to "I want to take a two-week vacation" to ... well, you tell me. You can e-mail me, of course, or comment or comment and put PRIVATE at the top and it'll never get published.
The list goes on and on.
Meg has a list too, and one of my goals is to shorten it. Every time I remove an item it means I've stepped out of my comfort zone at least a tiny bit and stepped into my Meg role. At least a tiny bit.
Last Saturday morning, in Tucson, I had breakfast with Liz and Erin. Afterwards, we went to the Pima Air Museum. Before leaving the restaurant, I thought it would probably be wise to use the ladies' room. This is something I have feared, and therefore avoided, so far. The only time I had used the ladies' room before was (coincidentally) with Liz, and she steered me towards a little-used restroom that time.
I didn't do anything stupid, like head towards the wrong door. The room was empty the entire time I was in there, which was longer than I expected. Trying to organise my cinch and camisole and skirt and skirt lining to sit down was a challenge. Trying to make sure everything was organised correctly before opening the stall door was the second challenge. I thought there should be a mirror in the stall, but who'd want to be looking at themselves at that particular moment?
One taboo down. I touched up my lipstick using a small mirror, in the stall. Next time, I'll use the mirror on the wall. That's the next push to expand my self-imposed bubble.
What's left? Puh-lenty.
* I own some very feminine articles of clothing. Lace, ruffles, sequins, embroidery, and so on. I avoid them. I know I'm being read. I don't know what that has to do with my not dressing very femininely. I don't know if women would look at me and say "well, he's not afraid to dress UP" or if they would look at me and say "it's bad enough that he's dressing, but that's WAY over the top!" Or if they'd care at all. I love feminine clothes, and I'm getting there a bit, with brighter colours and swingier skirts, but I have limits and they're keeping Me from becoming Meg.
* I still haven't eaten alone in a restaurant. I'd feel boxed in. If people want to hassle me, I can be stuck in a booth and I wouldn't be able to get up to leave easily. I've never had a problem, so maybe this fits under the "maintain vigilance" heading, but it makes me nervous and I try to trust my gut. I mean, it IS much larger than my brain (and I'm working on that). There's also that ladies' room thing, although I'll have to go whether I'm eating alone or with friends. I have eaten alone in a food court. I have ordered takeaway at a restaurant. I have yet to sit down to a meal alone.
* I haven't worn any kind-of-short skirts. I think just above the knee is the highest I've tried.
* I haven't worn platform/very high heel shoes. This is probably due to lack of finding them in my size more than anything else.
* I haven't worn stockings and a garter belt. Oh wait, I did that Saturday, although I hadn't planned on it.
In the past six months,
* I have gone out barelegged, although I think this is A Bad Idea.
* I have worn open-toed shoes (since I was barelegged, why not).
* I have worn long skirts. I think my legs are OK and why not show them off? But to me, long skirts mean more formal and a bit more blending in with the other ladies.
* I have worn stockings and a garter belt. :)
* I introduced Meg and my male self to a relative stranger.
* I made a transsexual friend. Well, I hope she's my friend. Maybe I should just say "I met a transsexual."
* I shaved my underarms and shoulders enough that I could wear a tank top (which I haven't) or at least cap sleeves (which I have).
I'm missing things in both categories, I'm sure. I would LOVE to hear about your comfort zones and how you've been breaching the self-imposed cage and what's left. Anything from "I wear glossy chapstick as a guy" to "I came out to a friend" to "I went to a club" to "I shave my arms and legs now" to "I hope to go on my porch" to "I want to take a two-week vacation" to ... well, you tell me. You can e-mail me, of course, or comment or comment and put PRIVATE at the top and it'll never get published.
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