Wednesday, December 7, 2011

It's Hard

Any soul can sleep - few can die
Any wimp can weep - few can cry
Everyone complains - few can state
Anyone can stop - few can wait
It's hard - It's very very very very hard - so hard

A cross gender life can be a burden.  Life, under the apparently best of circumstances can be scary and difficult and feel out of control.  Being trans, even if you have a loving and supportive partner, can add to the confused mess we call life.

I was devastated to learn that one of my readers, who I knew as Penny Perfect, took her own life about ten days ago.  I only knew Penny through my blog and her blog and her other writings, which is to say I didn't really know her at all.  And devastated is the right word.  I cried on the phone with that supportive partner, Aeify when she told me the news.

Anyone can do anything if they hold the right card
So I'm thinking about my life now
I'm thinking very hard
Deal me another hand Lord, this one's very hard
Deal me another hand Lord, this one's very hard

My wish is next time, dear Penny, you'll be dealt a straight.  You were already all heart ~ that makes a straight flush.

I hope we meet next time around.  I'll look for you.  Maybe we'll be in the same sorority, or we'll be BFFs.  We'll giggle together and have slumber parties and all the things we didn't do in this life.

I'll miss you.

(Aeify can be found here)


  1. How unbearably sad. It reminds me of the day, just over a year ago, when a talented young man from our local high school drama group took his own life...leaving behind a devastated community of friends and teachers.

    Those who create the intolerable conditions that lead to these tragedies truly "know not what they do."

  2. It was so sad to read your post and the to read the post by Aeify. I did follow Penny's blog and Aeify's as best I could when they were writing more regularly. Penny wrote with such honesty and candor but it was clear that she was dealing with many issues in her life. Penny was someone who you just wanted to reach out to and comfort. Reading her posts it was evident that she was a wonderful and giving person.
    Aeify wrote so wonderfully about Penny and it is so fulfilling to see a couple that share the unrestricted love that they had.
    I will keep both Penny and Aeify in my prayers.


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