Sunday, December 11, 2011

Now I Get It!

Check out yesterday's cartoon.

I said it doesn't work as a normal joke.  But now I can see where he's going with this.

It works as the start of a story.

"And those were my last pair!  Damn!"
"Don't worry, Leon, we can go to the store and get some more."
"I don't think we'll find any clothing stores open on this island this early on a Saturday.  Damn!  I don't want to go out to breakfast 'commando' ~ it's so uncomfortable."
"I have an idea.  Let's go back to the room."
"This is your idea, Betty?  I'm supposed to wear your panties?"
"It's only until the stores open.  And I don't want to hear that these disappeared!"
"But panties?"
"It's only until the shops open.  Two or three hours, tops.  Or you can sit in the room and starve until then."
"Fine.  But I'll feel ridiculous."
"Don't laugh!"
"Why would I laugh?  Do you think I can see your pink undies right through your shorts?"
"Well, no, but I feel silly."
"You shouldn't feel silly.  You should feel sexy.  And now you owe me a new pair of panties."
"I don't want to wear them after you've worn them!  They're yours now."
"I don't need panties."
"Well, you do right now, Leon.  Stop complaining and enjoy it."
"They do feel kind of... DAMN!"
"What, Leon?"
"They're gone."
"They can't be gone.  Do your shorts eat them or something?"
"Say....  This has never happened until we got down here, and then it keeps on happening.  And I never wore this type of shorts before.  I bet there's a connection.  Look, give me another pair of panties and we can go to breakfast."
"Oh no.  I'm not taking any chances.  I know it sounds crazy, but just in case it IS the shorts, put on something else."
"That's all I have.  I picked up a bunch of Bermuda shorts in my size and that's all I brought."
"Well that's not all I have.  Here."
"Clamdiggers?  Are you joking?"
"They're called capris, and no, I'm not joking.  I have a few casual skirts if you prefer."
"You don't really think it's the shorts, do you Betty?"
"I'm not taking any chances with my... well, now your panties.  You owe me two pair now.  So do you want the pants, or a skirt?"
"Let's go.  I'm starving."
"I don't think so.  I look stupid.  Everyone will stare at me."
"Why on earth would they do that?"
"Oh, come on, Betty!  Wouldn't you stare at a man wearing women's pants?"
"I think I can fix that so no-one will stare at you."
"What are you going to do?  Go out naked so no-one will look at me?"
"I have an idea.  Promise you'll let me do everything I want without complaining first."
"I don't know.  What do you want to do?"
"You don't trust me."
"Of course I do!  But...  I just want to know what you have in mind."
"I guarantee it's nothing dangerous.  You won't get hurt.  But you have to trust me and let me do what I want."
"Forget it.  Let's go eat."
"No!  Do what you want."
"No complaints?"
"No complaints."
"No backing out now."
"Well, this is starting to sound scary."
"I swear, if we get started and you try to change your mind I'll push you out of the room and lock the door!"
*sigh* "OK, Betty.  What do I need to do?"
"You need to take off those panties..."
"Thank heavens!"
"...And get into the shower.  I'll join you."
"Well, this is starting to sound like fun."
"We'll see.  This is the easiest way to shave you."
"I already shaved today!"
"Not nearly enough, sweetie."
"You're clean, and smooth all over, and moisturised.  Now put the panties back on."
"Betty, I know what you're planning, and I don't like it."
"That's fine.  Remember what I said.  Out."
"What?!  Like this?  No!"
"Remember what I said, Leon!  Either get out, or stop complaining.  And don't even think about changing your mind!"
"I'm sorry, Betty.  If I don't like what you did when you're done, can we stop and do something else?"
"No.  Now shut up and do what I say.  Panties ONNOW!"
"Yes, Betty."
"Now the capris.  Wait.  I changed my mind.  Pull up this skirt instead."
"I swear.  This is your last warning."
"Yes, Betty."
"OK, Leon, bring the chair over here.  The light's best here and I need good light to do your makeup.  Have you ever worn makeup, Leon?"
"Betty!  You know I haven't."
"I was just wondering if you had any secrets I should know about.  Maybe something you did with a girlfriend, or your sister.  Hmmm....  I think you need a little concealer under your foundation.  Now a little natural eye shadow....  Lisa, do you like eye liner?"
"I do on women.  I... did you just call me Lisa?"
"I said I'd make sure no-one stared at you.  If I call you Leon, people will stare.  I better get used to your new name.  You too."
"Temporary name, you mean."
"If that will make you feel better, OK."
"So, eyeliner it is.  And some mascara.  And a little more mascara.  You have nice lashes, Lisa.  They need a little curl though.  Sit still.  It won't hurt you.  You act like you've never had your lashes curled before, Lisa."
"I have never..."
"You have never enjoyed having a makeover as much as this?  That's nice of you to say.  A little blush, and now pay attention.  You might have to touch up your lipstick and gloss so watch carefully...."
"Well, Lisa, with that tank top and skirt and flip-flops you look simply fabulous!  I wish I had a wig, but who knew?  The headscarf will work, I think.  Stop tugging at your bra!  You know, if you had a little more boob it'd stay down better.  Extra undies just don't make for real good padding.  Here.  Put on this bracelet and ring and I'll add a necklace and... you're good to go.  Look in the mirror.  Tell me you're not adorable."
"Betty, I can assure you I am not... bad.  I'm not bad.  Wow.  I thought I'd look stupid.  But now people WILL stare at me!"
"HA!  No-one notices a woman after she gets to a certain age.  And you, honey, are beyond that age.  Now grab that purse and let's get breakfast!"
"Put the bags on the bed, Lisa.  So, what did you think?  Did you have a good time today?"
"I never would have thought I'd enjoy being out dressed like a girl.  Yes, I kind of liked it."
"HA!  I KNEW you would.  I know you LOVED it.  I didn't know you enjoyed shopping so much!"
"Well, you know I don't.  But there are so many different things to buy, if you're a girl.  It was fun."
"Once you started to relax, you LOVED it."
"Well, yes, that... what did you call it?"
"'Spa day.'"
"Yeah.  I didn't know getting your fingernails and toenails done felt so nice.  The facial... well, parts were nice and parts were not-so-nice, but I'd do it again.  And you!  You told me that I was drinking 'sparkling orange juice!'  Why didn't you tell me the sparkle came from champagne?"
"You sure did take to those Mimosas.  And you did relax, didn't you?  Let's get our new goodies out of the bags before they wrinkle and then you can shower and we'll do you up right for an evening out."
"I think you went way overboard today.  You bought yourself a lot of things!"
"Think back.  I didn't buy ANYTHING for myself."
"That can't all be for me!  If I wore something different every day for the rest of the trip, I'd still have clothes left over!"
"Silly... that's why women pack so much.  We can't always know what's going to come up and we may need an extra nice outfit or some spare casual clothes.  And...
"...And we can return whatever I don't wear."
"Why?  We'll probably have to get you more things when we get home.  I was goingto say, And you did need some 'special things', didn't you?"
"I've been meaning to ask... How did you know where to find wigs?  And those pads?..."
"'Breast forms,' Lisa."
"...And shoes in larger sizes?"
"Sit down Lisa.  I have a confession to make.  I KNEW you'd like to be dressed as a woman.  I KNEW I'd enjoy having a girlfriend with me on this trip.  So I kind of tricked you.  Just a little."
"What did you do, Betty?"
"There was nothing odd about your shorts.  It was your underwear.  They were made out of a special material that dissolves into pretty much nothing once they're wet.  It's hot outside.  We go out.  You perspire.  Your underwear vanishes."
"And the panties?"
"Made especially for you.  They are ~ well, were ~ made of the same stuff."
"That's your idea of tricking me 'just a little.'  Suppose I just said 'OK, I'll wear the panties and capris' and maybe rolled them up a bit so they'd look like shorts.  Then what would you have done?"
"You'd still be wearing a skirt.  Give me that skirt.  I'll hold it up, here.  See?  It's two sizes too big for me.  The pants I brought would never close for you.  Did you think we were the same size?  I bought that skirt for you days before we left."
"Honey?  You're not mad at me, are you?"
"No, I guess I'm not.  Why didn't you just ask me?"
"Because you wouldn't have said yes!"
"I might have!  You're right.  I wouldn't have.  You know me pretty well, don't you Betty?"
"Yes I do.  And I know you want to be Lisa until we get back to the states."
"You mean 'until we leave for the states.'"
"No.  I plan to fly back home with Lisa.  What do you say to that?"

I'm sorry.  For any of you who read this far, I'm not very good at this.


  1. Love your blog.. But, monday dec 5 you put in a photo with guess what etc.? love to hear the whole story.:) Karen

  2. I think he should count himself lucky that it was just his underwear that was vanishing


My day is brighter when I hear from my friends!