Friday, December 2, 2011

I've Never Done THAT Before!

My voice is not a girl's voice.  I listen to women all the time, and wish I could sound like them.  I can look like them, if the viewer is nearsighted and not looking to closely and easily fooled, but my voice fools no-one.  On the phone, I can do my best "Meg" voice and get "sir'd" from the other party.

I do try though.  I practice when I'm walking by myself, I practice in the car.  I've tried the femme voice websites, but I've not been able to get my voice where I want it.  Not ever.  I just use a quiet, slightly higher tone and hope the listener is the equivalent of nearsighted and not listening too closely (and still easily fooled).  I do try.

The first time I was out, I was in my car with my makeup lady and she said "say something in your girl voice."  I shook my head and said "I can't do that!"  Looking back, I can't believe I was presenting to the world as a girl for the first time, all made up, in a wig, blouse, skirt, and heels and I was embarrassed to try to speak like a woman!

But I didn't do it.  I let her talk whenever I needed to say something.  I might smile or nod, but not talking except to whisper to her.

Fast forward.

A couple of weeks ago, we had a few friends over.  I don't recall the details, but I was relating an event with a verbal content.  When I got to "and she said..."  I used my Meg voice.

I didn't even think about it.  I just did it.  While I was talking I remember thinking "hey... that's my girl voice I hear!" but I didn't hesitate or switch back.

One other time, I surprised myself by realising I was speaking in my girl voice: before my trip to Richmond, I got dressed and said goodbye to my wife.  We spoke a couple of sentences, and I also noticed I was speaking in MegTones.  My wife said nothing.  But that time, I was dressed.  This is the first time I wasn't dressed yet getting into femme mode without thinking.  I've got a long way to go, but I've come a long way, baby!


  1. Maybe it's my stage training, but I think I do a moderately convincing girl voice. First of all, I lower the volume...mostly by not projecting the way I do as a guy. It's mostly a case of using my "head voice" more than my "chest voice". And, of course, I go to the highest part of my register without being falsetto.

    A point to remember: An awful lot of famous attractive women have low voices--Lauren Bacall, Elizabeth Allen and Suzanne Pleshette all come to mind.

  2. And Telulah Bankhead. Now I've REALLY dated myself. (I only date myself because I can't get anyone else to date me :D )

    And Bea Arthur. Wait. I'm not making my case here, am I?

  3. On those rare occasions when I do get out I do the best that I can to make the most reasonable presentation possible but I do not delude myself to thinking that I will not be read. At my height, weight and age the goal of 'passing' is a pipe dream. Under my circumstances it almost makes no sense to try to affect a 'girl voice'.

  4. Not to mention Marlena Dietrich. On the subject of Bacall--did you know her singing voice was once dubbed by a young Andy Williams?

  5. That is very sweet about you just having your Meg voice pop out! :)

  6. Has your wife ever commented one the Meg voice? I'm impressed that she saw you off in Meg mode. Treasure her!
    My wife is still very cool on the whole Penny thing, which is a great sadness to me.

  7. I do a pretty convincing girl voice, especially when I'm practicing. As we all know, in the public eye, its much harder to keep it all together. Let's see ... shoulders down and back. Check. Hips forward, flowing walk. Check. And when time for interacting with, say, a check-out clerk comes around, I get so nervous that the voice isn't what I know it can be.

    But one day, soon.

    btw, I used Kathe Perez' CDs. Worked for me.


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