Close Shave

(another aside: in less than two months, the final "sequential" day of the 21st century will occur: 12-13-14.  Sorry, Rest Of World.  Your final day has passed.  I really feel I should do something important and unusual to mark that day.)

While I'm talking product, I found something I love.

First, let me share an article my dear friend Sharon sent me, regarding the difference between men's and women's shaving products.  I will add that, the one time I tried a women's blade (Venus, I believe) on my face it cut me badly.  I will also say that I prefer women's shaving gel, even if they are the same and cost more!

The longest and most bothersome part of getting ready to go out is shaving.  Chest hair seems to grow at the rate of about an inch a minute.  I try to decide what I'll wear and shave my arms and legs a few inches further than I think I'll need.  The beach was definitely an experience.

I do sometimes wax, mostly my back.

I usually use an electric razor on hands and feet because the contours are difficult with a hand razor.  There are parts I cannot shave with an electric razor so that's not a complete solution.  My face benefits from a new blade.

Epilators, for me, are EXTREMELY itchy.  Depilatories have started to react with my skin.  Waxing is good but not something I can do to myself.

So mostly I shave.

And often I have nicks or cuts or other unpleasantries when I'm done.  Or I skip parts because there's just too much risk of nicks or cuts or other unpleasantries.

When I returned from the beach, I picked up some new blades.  I have two hand razors.  One (a five-blade fusion) is exclusively for my face because I want to ensure the cleanest shave and don't want to dull the blade on, say, coarse chest hair.  The other (a three blade Mach 3) I use for everything below my neck.

I wasn't sure what blades I needed.  I did get the five-blade fusion but I couldn't remember what I got for the other razor.  As I said, I tried using a women's blade in my face razor and cut myself something awful; I'm still not sure why.  But for body hair, I figured I could use the "Venus" blades.  From a product review in InStyle magazine, the Gillette Venus Embrace handle is the best.  Maybe next time I need a handle I'll get one and give it a whirl.

I didn't see the three-blade heads so I got a package of five-blade heads that looked like they'd fit on the handle I have.  The package said "Gillette Venus & Olay" and I figured, why not?
 
When I opened the package, the blades were in individual boxes and each head had what looked like

pontoons on the side.  I tried to gently run it over my skin and it stuck and the pontoons folded over and I thought I just wasted my money.

I checked the package.  It didn't say a lot but it implied you should wet the blade and, well, go for it.

I did.  I wet my arms and wet the blade and...

...it was wonderful.  It did a fantastic job.  It glided (glid?) over my skin.  It left a lotiony/soapy residue but that could be rubbed in or washed off pretty easily.

Normally, I do arms one day and legs another and chest right before going out.  Instead, I stood in the shower and did EVERYTHING.

I will not recommend this blade for your face.  The sharp curve going from neck to chin causes the pontoon to catch.  But it felt good on my neck itself and maybe fine on parts of the face.  I haven't tried yet.

But I didn't have a single nick and shaving was actually pleasant.  Caveat: the lotion does not last as long as the blade.

Does anyone out there have anything better?  I'm a convert!

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Up In Arms

Again a week ago, I did a serious upper-body wax and shave.  Arms and underarms were wiped clean, back was stripped using a Veet wax (which worked pretty well), brows were trimmed and waxed using a Sally Hansen facial wax, which also worked pretty well.

The Veet was something I had not seen before: wax between strips.  You held it between your hands to warm it, then separated it into two waxed strips, and applied it gently to your body.  They you yank it off, whilst screaming.

The Sally Hansen wax needed to be heated in the microwave and had no cloth strips.  You heated the wax until it was only slightly warmer than molten lava, then you applied it to the area you want to clear cut.  Finally, you wait a moment until the hair stops smoking and, again, yank the wax off, whilst screaming.

I still won't wax my chest.  That seems fairly painful and even though chest hair seems to grow an

inch an hour, it's not worth it.  My waxylady kept suggesting I let her do my chest and I told her my belief that it would be painful.  She nodded solemnly and said she'd seen tears on the faces of "tough guys with tattoos" while waxing their chests.  (I also asked her what she liked best of all of the things she did at the salon and she said "waxing."  I said "you just like to cause pain" and I was rewarded with that solemn nod again.)

I like the way my body feels and looks when hairless.  I wish it wasn't so much work, and I wish that it lasted longer.  But I had a reason for serious shaving/waxing.

I spent a few days in a beach area, and that meant Meg would be wearing beach attire for the first time.

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Best Laid Plans ~ Self-Inflicted Injury Edition

Prior to my last outing, I Veeted my arms, chest, upper back, underarms, and the back of my neck.

Maybe the would work.

Veet has been pretty forgiving, but this time I left it on the inside of my left elbow (only!) too long and it left a burn there.  It's nothing painful; it looks like red lines in the creases inside my elbow.  I thought about it and figured that's a minor issue and sleeveless would be OK.  I took a critical look and saw that I missed the same spot I always miss ~ I'm sure it has a name but I don't know what it is.  It's the very top of the arm, in the back.  It seems to be overactive as far as hair growth goes and I either miss it or it's seriously Veet-resistant.

The morning I was to go out, I pulled out my electric razor to clean the spots.

I know there are certain spots I should not shave with an electric because I get razor burns, similar to that inner elbow burn.  I'll get small dots of broken skin, like I ran a grater lightly over the skin.  I cannot use the electric on the inside of my elbows or knees, or on my underarms.

It turns out that spot at the top of my arm is another one.  I was left with a dozen or more little cuts on each arm.

Sleeves it is.  And I didn't think cap sleeves would work.

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Choices

When it comes to consumer products, men have generally limited choices.  There are more choices when it comes to personal grooming, but they follow a narrow path of small choices differentiated by brands.

Hair removal, for most civilian males, involves a simple choice: electric shaver or hand razor.  Electric shaver devolves into brand choices; there are differences that googling "best" will resolve.

Manual shavers offer small choices ~ number of blades, mostly.  Shaving cream is more preference than choice: do you prefer a cream or gel (that becomes a cream) or just soap.   From there, you've reached the brand level.

You see where this is going.

Women's choices are on a longer decision tree.

Start with "what hair are you looking to remove?"  Facial, underarm, leg, bikini area, brows, areas where There Should Be No Hair?

(I include brows because I recently uncovered the existence tiny razors for brow grooming).

Men's choice: shave.

Women's choice: shave, pluck, epilate, depilitate, wax.  I'm assuming the choice has already been made to skip laser or electrolysis (which always reminds me of middle school science where you separate water and watch the oxygen flare and the hydrogen pop).

Most of us are not women.  For some that's a "not yet" condition.  But we're now confronted with the women's choices, simply because hair removal is essential.  A woman from, say, the middle east might have visible dark hair on her arms and she might choose to leave it there.  We blend better if we're more in the mainstream which means more femme, less gorilla.

I would like to find a permanent solution to facial hair that won't break the bank.  In the meantime, it's a daily (or at least weekly) battle.

Mostly, I shave.  I use a combination of hand and electric razor.  I've tried "specialty" groomers but not found them satisfactory.  I've discovered areas where electric should be avoided at all costs: underarms, chest near underarms, inside elbows, behind knees... the skin in these areas will cut and bleed, get abrased, or otherwise look horrible and cause pain, neither of which are my goals.

Before I go out, I shave my face and neck with an electric.  Then I shower and feel for any facial roughness and go over those areas with a hand razor.  For me, I cannot get as close in some areas (above lip) with a hand razor as with an electric, and I can't get as close in other areas (below ear) with an electric as a hand razor.

Legs and arms, I can go either way, avoiding the sensitive areas with the electric.

Underarms are difficult for me.  Unless I'm diligent, the hair grows too long for a hand razor and the skin won't ever tolerate my electric (even just trimming).

Feet and hands are mostly electric territory.  My toes especially will get cut easily with a hand razor.

I do pluck sometimes.  Stray hairs, brows, fingers sometimes.  I don't pluck much.  I have learned that a good tweezer does make a difference.  Someday, I'll buy one instead of the crappy one I have now.

I've tried epilating.  I've written about my experiences before.  Here's my bottom line: I'm done with epilating.  It hurts (not for long, but it hurts).  It doesn't do as thorough a job as I'd like.  And, for some reason, the epilated parts itch like mad.  I mean insane itching to the point where my scratching will leave cuts in my skin.  If I was a dog, I'd be wearing one of those collars after epilating.  For the record, growing hair after shaving or otherwise eliminating it does not itch.

I've been waxed.  I've had my arms, legs, back, brows, and neck waxed.  Although the harshest, fastest-growing hair is on my chest and stomach, I do not want to have my chest waxed.  I have heard it is just about the most painful there is.  I bought a home wax kit but I could never bring myself to cause that much pain to myself and never used it.

I've depilated on-and-off.  More on this tomorrow.  For now, I'm just wondering why I want to write "depilitated" instead of "depilated."

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No More Body Shaving!

At least as of two days ago.  I really like looking down and seeing hairless hands, so I may try to keep them clean, but as for the rest....

As I mentioned, I'll be in Cape Cod next week and my hair situation is odd (it usually is).  Right now, my back and neck have been waxed, my chest is shaved down to the nipples, my arms and underarms and legs are clean (although that grows back rather quickly).  Hopefully, it'll normalise enough for shirtless and shorts activities next week.  If not ~ No More Stories.  I'll think of the right way to tell the truth.

I need to write up my clothing swap and dinner with Vanessa.  Please give me a few days ~ because the house on the cape is small, I may not be able to write until I return.  I will have a Meg photo from the swap tomorrow!

The short story: Meg had a fun time at the swap and if it wasn't 100 degrees inside the building she would have had more fun.  But she spoke with a lot of lovely ladies and that was really my stress point: talking to people, not going out.  Vanessa is an interesting gurl and I like her.  I hope we can meet again, dressed or not.

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Notes From the Weekend

Today I learned I underestimate my readers.  Did anyone not know the "Max" reference?

I behaved around my friend.  We saw a lot of people.  I'm still here, and my status is unchanged.

If you recall, I was wondering if my hairless arms would evoke any comments.  I wore short sleeves, but not shorts, just because I rarely do.  I had the usual visible trappings: flowery or otherwise non-plain socks, charm bracelet, necklace.

My friend P made no comment.  At one point he did ask about my charm bracelet and I told him what each charm meant and why I wear it.  A couple of times, he commented on my "Christine" costume, but it went no further.  For instance, he cut himself shaving (face, for the record) and I said that it really doesn't look good, bleeding all over the metro.  He said "if you weren't embarrassed wearing a dress in DC, I won't be embarrassed bleeding."  I said "half the people riding the train have probably done so in a dress."  I was considering saying, "first of all, it was a suit, not a dress" but I didn't.  I also didn't push the conversation by saying "I really enjoyed going out like that" or something similar.  I was close, but I didn't.  Next time, I may not be able to stop myself.  I'll assume that will be self-correcting and there won't be a next time.

We also had another (female) friend and her son over for dinner on Saturday.  No-one commented on the absence of hair.  Or on my flowery socks, even though we sat down to watch a movie afterwards and I had my socked feet up on a coffee table for all to appreciate (or, apparently, not).

Sunday evening, I came into the kitchen after working with the boys a bit upstairs to find my wife talking to P about her "past life" experiences.  I thought, "this might get interesting," but I didn't join in the conversation.  She didn't invite me in by talking about my experiences ~ I think she was afraid it would get to my most recent one and the disclosure of my crossdressing.  I understand why she didn't want to do that, and I don't think I'll mention it to her.  If she had me join in, I would have ignored the latest event and talked about the first two.  Just to show her I can do it.

Monday, we spent the day at the Vienna fair, working a booth.  There were a dozen kids and almost as many adults there.  No comments.  Well, not from them.  I had fun talking to the vendors, mostly about how I loved their earrings but, alas, don't have pierced ears.  A couple of vendors asked if the jewelry I was looking at was for a wife, or girlfriend, or daughter and I said "it's for me."  One said "we have some men's items" and I said "no, this is what I'm looking for."  One had a variety of charms and I told her I was looking for one for my bracelet, but she didn't have quit what I was looking for (a bird).

Frankly, I am starting to yearn for a matching earring/necklace set, something I've never had.  One vendor did have some clip-ons: nice earrings at a reasonable price.  I bought two pair.  I was also "joking" with one of the women at our booth.  She suggested I get my ears pierced.  I can tell my wife "it was G's idea" but she won't buy that.  So I won't.

Monday, for dinner, we went to a friend's house.  Another family was there.  Total: seven adults, four teenage boys, zero comments.

I think it's safe to shave, epilate, depilitate, wax ~ whatever you want.

Yesterday, I went to a customer's house.  She asked if I could remove my shoes before stepping on her white carpet.  I did.  I doubt she even noticed my socks.

By the way, I always wear some extra-nice socks when going to the airport.  Why the heck not.

And thank you for clicking that button!  It really wasn't important, except it was at 99.  Jeri, Cameron, Mistress Elizabeth...  There were two more, but I have to figure out who they are.  Unless y'all want to drop me a note!  If you're deep in the closet and don't want me to know who you are, well, that's up to you.  I'd like to chat.

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Progress

I had breakfast at the little restaurant across the street.  Many of the clientele wore army fatigues.  I was there early, and Meg would be there later, if she decided to eat there.  Two of my classmates are staying at this hotel.  I'll try to find out what their weekend plans are without getting invited along.  I just want to avoid them.  I may have to give up Sunday and join one or more, to be sociable.  As I've said, I'm not sure if "sociable" or "Meg things" are further outside my comfort zone.

I skipped lunch to meet my new teams.  I was hoping to get out by 4 so I could grab some fast food (ugh) before my waxing appointment at 5.  I didn't.

I originally went to a different salon that sounded promising.  No appointments Tue or Thu, and they closed early on Wed.  Plus we planned to have dinner as a group Wed, so that wouldn't work anyway.  The friendly woman suggested Friday, but that wouldn't work.  I went to my second choice salon.

A young woman told me there were no appointments for that day, but she had some for Wed or Thursday at 5.  I asked if the waxer had experience with eyebrows and she said "ten years."  I opted for Thursday, at 5 with Liz.

People dropped out of the Wednesday dinner, so I dropped by the salon where an older (as in, older than me) woman said there was nothing available that evening so I stayed with what I had.

The older woman, I discovered when I arrived, was Liz.  She led me to the wax room and left while I removed my shirt and pants and wrapped a towel around my waist.

She was friendly and chatty.  She must have noticed my panties as she tucked the towel over the waistband to keep them wax free, but said nothing.  She said I had to sit up so she could do my shoulders and I told her I wanted to be able to wear a sleeveless top without hair showing.  She said "I understand."  I was tempted to ask if she really did, and explain if she didn't.  I didn't ~ it didn't seem necessary.  She could also see that my chest was shaved down to about my nipples ~ no comment on that either.

I know she couldn't go up to my hairline.  It's ragged in the back and the only way to make a smooth line would be with a razor.  So I tried to fix the back myself but I'm not that worried about it.  My wig will cover any sins.

When she was ready to do my brows she asked if I wanted to "follow the line" and I said I wanted a slight arch.  She said "like now.  They're arched.  I can follow the arch."  She did.  She asked if I wanted them trimmed and I said "whatever you think they need."  My wife will not like this.  I do ~ it will make the weekend easier.

Shaving my arms has not worked as well as hoped.  I gave myself some serious razor burn on the underside of my upper arms the other day.  It looks better today, but not great.  I'm still learning where the most sensitive skin is, and how to avoid it.  I know the inside of my elbows and backs of my knees are very sensitive.  I barely touch the skin with a razor there, to avoid burn.  I know my underarms are, but I didn't realise it extended down my arm so far!  Boy sleeves cover it; girl sleeves will not.

My evening was spent in my mules, and I tried to put all of my clothes, accessories, and makeup ready for tomorrow evening.  I noticed I brought way too much makeup.  I mean, for starters, do I need four mascaras?  Absolutely not!

The salon closes at 6, so I can't have my nails done there.  There's always the mall.

I keep going back and forth between skirt and dress for Friday evening.  I'm concerned that the nail lady will feel like I'm trying to flash her if she's giving me a pedicure and I have a short dress on.

I just realised I've never had a pedicure as Meg.  I think this will be my third.  I will deny ever having had one to the nail lady, of course.

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Four Options

I'd like to wear something sleeveless.  I have some sheath dresses that I've only worn in the house, and there are lots of light, pretty, sundresses in the stores.

This means I'm going to remove more hair than I have in the past.

The biggest problem is Places I Cannot See.  It's hard to see parts of the underside of your own arm, your back and the back of your neck.  I state the obvious.  Legs are easier.

I'm going to have to not only make sure my legs and arms are hairless, but I have to make sure my arms are COMPLETELY hairless, right up to and behind my shoulders, plus underarms.  My neck and upper back (at least) must be hairless.  My chest doesn't need to be shaved more than usual, although I might go further; I haven't decided yet.  I might just get carried away and keep on shaving.  I have some tapes for breast forms and I'm thinking about attaching them for the weekend.  I'm not sure how that works with sleeping, and I'm not sure how to remove them.  And I'm not sure if I'll do that at all, although it would be an interesting experience to not wear a bra, if I don't want to.

I see four options to hair removal.  I'm not sure how many I'll use, or for what areas yet.  I'm thinking about it, and I'm open to suggestions from my readers.

Remember, I have a few days to get ready and touch-up since I'll be in Arizona for three nights before my planned first trip out.

1. shaving.  My electric shaver works quite well, and I'll probably bring a hand razor as well.  That's probably the best combination for chest.

2. epilation.  I did try this again, on my arms.  It doesn't seem to get everything, it is incredibly itchy, it hurts but not unbearably.  I doubt I can use it on places I cannot see.  I'd like to try it again on my legs, to see how it does.  I can follow up with one of the other options if it doesn't work well.

3. waxing.  I have had my brows, back, and arms waxed at different times.  I'm considering some body waxing.  It's the most expensive option though, and I've had very thorough wax jobs and sloppy ones.  I'll be trying someone new.

4. dipilitation.  There's always Nair, but that's also tricky for areas I can't see or reach easily.  I've also had problems where areas redden and stay red for way too long (upper chest).

I do need to plan and decide NOW.  For three of the four, I need to leave some growth or they won't work and shaving is it by default.  Since I had to not shave in preparation for last weekend, I think my body hair is long enough for any of the options right now.  But if shaving is "it," I should be shaving already to make it easier.

I have not made a decision about my brows yet.  I haven't been cleaning them up, and that worries me a bit.  I don't want a stranger to work on them.  I've had one bad experience (where she worked hard to create boybrows and it looked awful) and the potential for going too far is always present.  Maybe if I explain what I want to do and get my brows waxed Tuesday evening I'll be good.

I'm considering:
legs: try epilator; nair or shave if it's not effective.
arms: if epilating legs work, try that.  If not, wax or nair, then shave to clean up
back and back of neck: wax.  Maybe I'll see if she'll do my shoulders as well
underarms: shave.  I think that's traditional. :)
chest: shave

Wow.  That's a lot of area to cover.  So to speak.

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Way Outside My Comfort Zone

I sent an e-mail yesterday.  I am committed.  I will be going way outside my comfort zone next week, in Arizona.  I don't know what day yet, but I'll do it.

This project has two requirements people, one documentation person, seven testers (I've met two), and nine developers.

They all kind of work for me.

I'm not a manager, I'm a dotted line under the manager ~ where you often see the administrative assistant, except I'm not.  I have the lofty title of "Chief Engineer."  Near as I can tell, my job is to push the engines to warp 9 when they're only made to go warp 8.5 and I have to tell the captain they're going to blow in a bad Scottish accent.

So I wrote these seventeen strangers and said "hi.  I want to meet you all when I'm in Arizona."

I'll meet with them as a group and individually.

Friday after work in Sierra Vista, I hope to get dressed, and get a manicure and pedicure.  Saturday and Sunday, I hope to shop and do touristy things, as Meg.   If I do, I'll be out and forced to do things I haven't had the nerve to do yet, such as eat out and use the ladies'.   I hope to get to Tucson and meet a couple of t-women there.   I have been too busy to write back, but I hope to make some time to meet them.

I'm more nervous about meeting my peeps.

Perhaps my comfort zone hasn't expanded... just moved.

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