Friday, July 27, 2012

Sneak Preview

A couple of days ago, I was:

- e-mailing Rachel about getting together. 
- planning a repeat visit to the UU church this Sunday.
- looking into going to a TGEA meeting next weekend.
- considering joining a local T group for their big 3rd anniversary party.
- prowling meetup for an event Meg might enjoy.
- talking with another friend or two about going out together.

No more.  The homeowner e-mailed me.  He's flying back on Tuesday, but his daughter will be staying at the house starting tomorrow.

So I can now print up my plans, look at them, sigh, and stick the paper in a shredder.

I got a lot done during my housesitting gig, but not as much as I wanted.  My eyes always were larger than my stomach, so to speak.

I brought a lot of reading material and barely scratched the surface.  I brought a lot of clothing and am bring back a lot that I haven't tried on yet.  I didn't really figure out how much Meg I want in my life, if I was the only one involved.  Well, maybe I did.  I did not figure out my marriage.  Well, again, maybe I did.

I did a lot.

Meg went to therapy, synagogue, and church.  I let Meg take over the house, and that was nice and I learned I need more discipline or... she'll take over the house.  I learned I need to organise her makeup and jewelry or I'm as much of a mess as always when it's time to go out.  I like Stana's tackle box idea for makeup and I was thinking of a multi-draw cabinet or several boxes for jewelry so I can separate and sort necklaces, rings, earrings, bracelets by gold, silver, other.  Right now, it's baggies for both.

Maybe I did figure out how much Meg I need at home.  I occasionally changed into a top and skirt when home, but not often.  Maybe that's right, for me.  I enjoyed trying on outfits to see what to keep and what to toss, and learned it becomes a chore after, say, a dozen changes.  But it's a trade-off, because there's the overhead of putting on/taking off the undergarments.

Maybe I did figure out my marriage....  As it stands now, it's not good, and I think the current crisis was caused as much by the direction my wife is now taking as it is by me.  And it all feels bad.

And last weekend Aeify visited.  I learned what it's like to have someone accepting, truly accepting, with me.  It was a girl experience I would love to repeat.  Short version: we went to DC to sightsee, to see the opening day Batman in IMAX, to a clothing swap, to Old Town Alexandria.  I was the happiest I have been in years, and that goes back to what precipitated my "alone time."  And I am still reconciling that weekend with my life, marriage, and future.  And I couldn't be more confused if I was Gregor Samsa (feel free to look it up).

But my weekend story is for next week.  However if you follow that link for Aeify, you'll find her version of events. ;)

(a private note to my late father: Happy birthday, dad.  I miss you.)


  1. It is unfortunate that the housesitting gig ended prematurely. You are so compulsively organized that the early termination has to have scotched even the best laid plans.

    You should, however, be proud of all that you did accomplish during this time.. I hope that you can reach some resolution on the marital front. That is something that will weigh on you 24/7. It is a bit of an ebb and flow situation whhich leads to confusion and must sit at odds with the analytical side of your personna.

    Like I keep saying, every positive interaction that any of us have with the civilian population is good for all of us.


  2. Meg- That is a great message to your Dad. :)

    I love the tacklebox idea!!

    Hoping for clarity, and organization,

  3. Maybe a neighbor reported the large amount of stuff going and out of your host's home and the host is now wondering what the heck is going on at his home. LOL! If only he knew!!!!

    As I mentioned in a message I just sent to your email address, I have great experience with Rhonda-interruptus - plans derailed by outside forces I'd rather not have to contend with -- but contend I have. I am aware that such interruptions of planned outings can really put one into a tail spin. With all going on in your life, I hope that is not the case and that you can find a way to salvage some of your plans.

    My heart goes out to you, especially since at least that part of your life seemed to be going well (as evidenced by your being able to get out a fair bit recently).

    Persevere and be strong -- Meg deserves the best.




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