Tuesday, September 14, 2010

All On A Mardi Gras Day

It was dark by the time I left my house. Melinda had followed me home from the CVS. She left her car in the driveway and I had put my car was in the garage, to facilitate a stealthy exit. The party was at 7 and about 20 minutes away. Just before 7, I did a pre-flight check.

I made sure my makeup looked good.

I double-checked how my wig sat on my head, how my earrings looked, how the top and skirt fit, how the shoes felt. Did I have my watch? Yes. What am I forgetting?

I made sure everything I needed was in my pocketbook: money, a credit card, driver's license, insurance card, camera, cel phone, tissues, lipstick, powder, liner.

I looked through the garage windows and didn't see my nosy neighbors.

I took a deep breath and got into the car. I opened the garage door, stepped on the gas and crashed the car right into the house.

No I'm kidding. I got on the road with a "I can't believe I'm doing this" feeling. I got on the highway and found J's house without a problem. There were a lot of cars there. I had to park a block or two past it.

I sat for a moment. I thought "this is my Nike moment: Just Do It." I picked up my pocketbook, opened the door, and stepped out. I double-checked that I had my car key, then checked again. I locked the door, tucked the key into my bag caught my skirt in the car door and tore it off.

No, I didn't do that either. That was the last one ~ promise.

I walked down the sidewalk towards the house, sure that the click click click of my heels was loud enough to get everyone in the neighborhood to poke his head out to see what the racket was. I passed a couple of other people getting out of their car, probably heading towards the party. I smiled and nodded and soldiered on.


  1. Meg
    You do have the unique ability to capture the emotions that go along with getting out of the house while dressed.

    First there is the 'packing of the purse' and the certainty that you have taken way more stuff than will be needed and that you will not be able you to find what you need in your purse when you need it...along with the certainty that the one thing that will truly be needed has been forgotten.

    Then there is the first transition from the house to the car and off the block. All the neighbors know everyone's car and it would look strange for a long haired person in a dress and jewelry to be driving away in a car that is typically seen being driven by a gray haired guy.

    Then there is the second transition when you get to your destination. There have been times when I have made it to this point and then lost my nerve and never summoned to courage to leave the safety of my car. On other occasions I have sat frozen in my seat fussing with the decision to depart. How many extra layers of lipstick can I apply or how many extra strokes with the mascara brush will I take before I risk poking an eye out. Having put on my makeup in a well lit room with a full mirror the odds of messing things up with dark car makeup adjustments are high.

    Then there is the transition of re-packing the purse with the makeup you took out in the car, making sure you have the cell phone back in the purse, checking for the glasses, etc. Then you have to unlearn the concept of placing car keys in your pants pocket to make sure that it is safely located in your purse...after you fear if you have locked yourself out of the car. In guy mode I can park the car, get out and lock it in 5 seconds. En femme it seems like a 5 minute process.

    Of course, the more frequently you do get out the easier the process becomes but it is still one component that keeps this CD's adreneline level elevated.


  2. You are killing me doling out this story in bits and pieces...give me more...I wanna know what happened! (LOL) ;)

  3. O Lady of Many Vowels ~

    I think I'll just have a couple of more posts on this. I have a picture tomorrow, and a couple of more for the end.

    Spoiler alert: I live to dress another day. :)


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