Sunday, August 15, 2010

I Wish I'd Never Crossdressed

A long time ago, I realised that dressing as a woman is not just a multi-sensory experience ~ it involves every sense.

Makeup has a special feel and smell, and you can't help tasting lipstick or lipgloss. Why do you think they flavour them, if only a little? Even mascara makes blinking feel just a bit different. (If it feels a lot different, go easier on the mascara!)

We seem to prefer dangly earrings which add a little music to a simple shake of the head. Bangles on a wrist can add a sound of their own.

The sudden addition of extra hair and extra chest (and sometimes extra butt and/or hips) is a constant tactile reminder of why today's different. The unexpected tug of a bra or slipping shoulder strap, the feel of hose on bare legs or air up a skirt ~ they all add to the different feel.

And heels don't just give a different feel to your feet whether standing, sitting, or walking ~ they make the world different. Simple everyday things, like reaching for a familiar doorknob, or light switch, or faucet handle become their own challenge. Everything has moved down two or three (or six!) inches.

Finally a chance glance while typing rewards (or startles) with the sight of brightly coloured clothing, maybe a glittery ring, sometimes painted nails. Walking past a mirror can cause an "oh my god ~ I've been caught!" moment.

Don't let the subject fool you. I like it all.

But I wish I had never dressed as a woman before, just so I could do it for the first time and get hit with everything at once. A common theme in transvestite fiction (see fictionmania for lots of examples) is a guy being put in a situation where he has to dress as a girl, even though he's never done it before. The author then tries to describe this wonderful feeling, but I don't think they even come close to what's probably an overwhelming feeling as every sense fights for attention in its own way.

The only real-life first-time full-immersion experiences I can imagine is for Halloween or a "womanless" event, like a wedding or pageant or other charity affair. But since most crossdressers start pretty young, that would only happen to someone who is "one of us" yet never thought about it, or felt comfortable enough to try it. I think that's a small percentage of us. And that young first time probably involved one or two items of clothing, or, at most, child's clothing (a sister playing dress-up with a boy). Women's clothing, and an adult or adolescent observation, is a world away.

I know I've missed all of the firsts and experiences of growing up as a girl. Here's a male experience I'll never have either.


  1. lovely post Meg. I love the introduction--you've described the experience so eloquently!
    Myself, I feel like dressing only grows richer and more satisfying each time I do it-& so enjoyable is the experience that I can't wait to do it again. My first time was too awkward--and frightening--for me to enjoy it in the way described in fiction.

    love your site--your write wonderfully!

  2. This is a very interesting experience, for some guys putting on women's clothing will never happen and it is really different.


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