Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Needling Civilians

A few days ago, P sent this satellite photo of the rally with a note: "If you look close you can see [male name]'s boobs."


[By the way, the stage is to the right.  The large empty vertical stretch is 7th street.  The stage is on 3rd.  The original permit was to cover the space from 3rd to 7th.  Everything past that street is really overflow.  Just to the right of 7th there are two white tents.  We were 5-10 people "below" the top tent.  If you look close, you can see my boobs. :)  Click to enlarge the picture.]

I followed with: "Are you trying to say I overdid the padding?" and he wrote back "Nope.  They just stand out - as it were."

Well, they were supposed to stand out, so thank you for noticing, P!  Thinking back, I wish I'd played up the role.  Bounce them around or lean close so they'd be in his face, or just occasionally act overtly feminine.  I should have.  I didn't.  Maybe it's better that I didn't.

I wrote "I spent a lot of time trying to figure out the correct size. :)" to which he replied "I would say that all of DC saw that you paid close attenton to detail.  ;-)"

I didn't respond.  I certainly won't mention that I did spend a lot of time trying to figure out the correct size, but I did that over a long period of time.  Or that I have a lot of other bras in different sizes, and several breastforms.  Actually, I was surprised that he never asked what I used for padding or what size the bra was or if I was wearing women's panties as well, or if I'd ever done this before.  I think this is called "denial."

[Another aside ~ the bra I was wearing was a  Bali Passion for Comfort Soft Taupe.  I really like the way this bra looks ~ it adds curves, in my opinion.  I think it makes a difference.  Yes, the link is another "affiliate link".  If you follow it and buy anything from Amazon, I get a shekel.]


So I think that thread's done.  I don't really have an answer to his last comment.  I do reserve the right to think up a comment.  I don't want to let it get too stale though.

But I wasn't going to give up that easily.  In another thread, P wrote that he may come down when it gets warmer.  I wrote back:

Come down in the spring!  I have a new outfit that's perfect for cherry blossom time!

I spent several minutes trying to decide if I should write "lovely new outfit".  I removed the adjective.  I also rejected "I have the perfect dress for..."

Next note from P simply said "hot pants and a halter top?"

So I wrote "There is a limit to how much shaving I will do."

No answer, but this was just yesterday.

I'd like to stop beating around the bush.  I have an urge to write "is there anything you want to know?" or "I really do have an outfit for cherry blossom time" or "the hardest part of the costume was deciding which suit to wear" or "I had to buy the pearls and the right colour makeup.  I had everything else around the house." or "if you don't want to do cherry blossom, I have the perfect dress for a night at The State Theatre."  (In a previous visit, we saw the Dark Star Orchestra at The State.  Yes, P is a deadhead.  I am only a fan.)

It's probably good that we live 400 miles apart and rarely talk on the phone.  I can edit my e-mails and probably preserve a friendship.



Monday, November 29, 2010

Monday Morning Musings and a Bit of Business

She Said It

A few days ago, Stana wrote what I was trying to articulate.  She wrote a post about an old Black Velvet billboard she would see with a beautiful model on it.  She ended with:

Guys encountering such advertisements might wish that they could bed a Black Velvet model. Gals encountering such advertisements might wish they could look like a Black Velvet model.
I wished I could do both.


Nice and succinct and a very real difference ~ one that puts us sharply on the fence between women and civilians.  There's also a bit of regret there.  If I was sitting on that fence and I fell on the "bed" side, I'd be sorry I didn't land on the "look like" side.  And if I fell on the "look like" side, I'd be sorry I didn't land on the "bed" side.

I'm married and that's not going to change.  But I'm more reluctant to come out to (or even show pictures to) a really beautiful woman, because I'm afraid it'll kill my (already nonexistent) chances with her.

On occasion, I've said to a woman "if I was a girl, I'd want to look like you."  It's always taken as a compliment, but it's meant as such and as "really.  I mean it.  Can you help me look like you?"

No End in Sight

I'm still e-mailing P with little hints.  He's not biting, but he's not squashing it either.  I'll have the exchanges in a few days, after I feel it's run its course.

A Bit of Business

I am now a member of the Amazon affiliates program, just in time for the holiday spending season.  This means I may occasionally link to something of interest that Amazon sells, such as Kevyn Aucoin's excellent book on makeup called Making Faces.  I love this book because he does complete looks, and, bonus for us, he also makes a guy over as a girl.  Follow the link if you want to see what the particular item is.  But if you follow an Amazon link and buy anything I get a tiny kickback.  So if you say "I think I'll buy a Precision Twist 9/32" Taper Length Drill 118 Deg HSS L 6 1/4" Flute 3 7/8" for fifty cents or a Leica M7 "50 Year M" System with SUMMILUX-M 1:1.4/50mm ASPH Special Edition Set in Titanium for twenty grand, I get a tiny cut, as long as you go to Amazon from a link on my page.  It doesn't matter what you buy (and PLEASE don't buy that camera, unless you really want it!).  I don't get any information on you, just a tiny cheque every so often.  It helps me to buy muse food. :)



Sunday, November 28, 2010

Shopping with the Missus

I recently received a private comment (preface your comment with private and I will neither publish it nor have your e-mail address).


She said that when shopping in drab with her wife she's "encouraged [her] wife to buy items (she'd like too) and then later I'd borrow them back."
She went on to ask "how do you handle shopping, if with the wife, and you see a "must" have item. Do you buy? Or sneak back later and get it?"
Oooh. I want to buy, but I don't. My wife (K) doesn't really approve, and it feels like I'm bringing the issue out into the open, in a public place. I'll note what I want and get it later. Three reasons:

* what I just said ~ I don't need to remind her that I like to dress up.
* I don't want to start a discussion of how much money goes to my alternate wardrobe.
* If we're out shopping, we're either shopping for drab clothes for me, or clothes for her. I don't want to divert shopping with a goal into shopping with my goal.

Another issue ~ we're very different sizes. It's unlikely I'd see something on a rack she's looking at that would fit me.

Just before the wedding in New York a couple of weeks ago, K brought the outfit she wanted to wear to the cleaners. They ruined it. The night before we were to head to New York, she said "I need to go shopping. Do you want to come?"

I had a lot to do to get ready, but I figured, women's clothes store AND husband points ~ a good deal all around. So we went together, to a strip mall that has a Dress Barn and a Marshalls. We went to Dress Barn first.

Think about how most guys act when they're shopping with their SO.  I was always a typical shopping-with-SO guy. It's probably been a year or two since we had reason to shop together for clothes for her. This time I was, shall we say, atypical.  Going out does change you.
I offered opinions on whether I thought a smaller size skirt would fit.  When she saw a long skirt she liked, but it was too long for her height, I asked the SA if it came in petite, or if they had something similar but not quite as long. She tried on a jacket; I comfortably held her bag.  I looked around at clothes on other racks that she might like.  I wandered into the misses side (K shops the women's side) to see if there was something I liked (there wasn't). By the checkout there was a rack of "novelty" socks. I like those, so I looked, but for the reasons I mentioned earlier (plus one I didn't ~ I have a LOT of socks), I didn't buy. I may go back.

An aside: the other night, I said to K, "are you wearing my socks?"  They were golden-brown with flowery vines on them.  She said "I ran out of socks."  I said "that's fine.  Feel free."  It's not like I've never borrowed any of her clothes, especially when I first started dressing up with her in my life.

The experience was very different from my old self, and from most civilians.

I can see myself paying more attention at jewelry counters as well, but again, marking items in my mind for a later visit. Shoes and cosmetics, not so much, because she might find it embarrassing. I have decided to not mind what people think. She, I think, hasn't made that leap, and I will respect that. A guy who's overly interested in shoes or cosmetics is looked at oddly.

I'm not sure about lingerie.



Saturday, November 27, 2010

TDor Report Part V: The Program Continued

Two pages commemorating the people who were killed because of hate and ignorance were included in the program.  Eleven candles were lit ~ one for each soul, one for the others who died anonymously.  My wish is that the eleventh candle was for no-one.

Click on each page to enlarge.




Friday, November 26, 2010

TDor Report Part IV: The Program

I enjoyed the readings and singing at the service.  The program had the usual text.  I'm including the pictures from the program on here.  This is the front cover.  Click for full size.


Thursday, November 25, 2010

No TG Content

Really.  Just for today.  Nothing TransGendered, or ThanksGiving, really, either.

I don't buy into "let's stuff ourselves and mark the start of holiday shopping" day.  I'll be cooking for my family, which I enjoy but I'm not very good at.  The good news is, I can do it wearing a housedress and frilly apron, before I change into a nice dress for dinner.

Well, I can imagine I can.  And darn it, some TG content did slip in after all. :)

I do want to take today to thank all of you ~ I enjoy writing, and it's nice to have someone out there reading.  I'm energised by your comments and e-mails.

I have more friends now than in my previous fifty years all together, and I'm thankful.

Your are special, and beautiful, and I'll shut up now.



Wednesday, November 24, 2010

TDoR Report Part III: After The Service

I left quickly, without speaking with other people there.  If I were a different person, I might have asked if I could get up in front of the congregation.  I might have said

I've never been to this church.  I don't know how many people in the congregation are regulars, or how many came, as I did, for this Remembrance service.  From here, I see little groups of one and two and empty seats between.


To reduce the violence in our community, we need to reduce the space between ourselves.  It's sad that even when we come together, we're separate and alone.

I might have, if I were a different person.

I left quickly, after speaking to the two women I mentioned yesterday.

Instead of getting in my car, I walked across the street to the shopping centre.  I walked around a bit, past the Safeway, past the little shoe store I'd never seen before (alas, closed).  Before the service, I walked a lot, looking for the church.  Now I needed some aimless walking time.

At home, I mentioned to my wife that the church seemed to have a LGBT flavour.  She said, "I figured.  And that's why I didn't go.  It doesn't interest me."

That made me sad, too.