I Concur

Yesterday, Stana's Femulate blog entry was entitled Things To Come. 

She wrote about her belief that femulating in public will become more prevalent.  If you haven't read it, take a minute.  I'll wait.

I agree 100% with her first reason, that bloggers like us who have safe, public, frequent forays out are encouraging others to do the same.  I'm no trailblazer.  I started this blog because I thought I was: I wanted to chronicle my femme flight from Dulles, VA to Topeka, Kansas.  I learned that I'm far from the first, but still a rare bird (ha!).  I do have fun, and if I knew what I know now, I would have gone out a long time ago.  I am always thrilled when I hear from someone who said "you encouraged me to walk out that door, high heels clacking on the concrete."

I have a little problem with reason number two: Each year I go to the Transgender Day of

another femulating boy from Youtube

Remembrance and hear about the girls who didn't have fun on their last day femulating.  There's still a lot of hate out there, but I think if you're dressed your chance of being hurt through haters is less than the chance of having car problems.  (Bad: I had a flat while en femme.  Worse: it was one of my first times out.  Good: a guy changed my tire and treated me as I appeared.  That made it a great day.)

For still another reason, well, I guess Stana hangs out with a different crowd than I do.  I don't see men in tights, jewelry, makeup or carrying handbags....  Self excepted.  I can't wait until these things become more commonplace.  Because when they are, I can "up the ante."  Stana has given me an idea thought.... leggings.  Hmmm....

But I definitely concur with her conclusion.  Men are more relaxed about femulating.  When I was young, most guys would rather die than play dress-up.  (Of course, when I was young, it was the guys who wore the powdered wigs and frilly shirts. :) )  Now search for crossdress or crossdress brother or crossdress husband on youtube and there are guys getting pretty by the dozen.

So my question to myself is, how would my crossdressing experience be different if I were college age today?

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Stana's Here? No Thank You

Stana, my personal heroine, does outreach regularly at different colleges.  I'd love to start doing that, but I wouldn't even know how to begin.

But if she's looking for new venues to visit, she should steer clear of the Top 10 Trans-Friendly Colleges and Universities, as outlined in this Advocate article (which relates back to the Campus Pride Index).

It's wonderful to see gay-oriented publications highlighting trans issues.  Mostly, I feel we're the "poor stepchild" in the LGBT quad.  Three sexual orientation + one gender identity.  Want to water us down more?  Try LGBTQ.  Now we're one-fifth of the equation.

But the article starts with an acknowledgment of this:

Transgender people within higher education continue to be an invisible, often forgotten community. Only about 10% of colleges and universities have trans-inclusive nondiscrimination statements. Research suggests that trans people face higher rates of harassment when compared to cisgender lesbian, gay, and bisexual people and are three times more likely to fear for their physical safety on campus.  In the last decade, however, a number of campuses have become stalwart leaders in creating trans-friendly policies, programs, and practices.

I am pleased and impressed and even if you're not going to college you might find a nearby campus to stroll amidst people educated in our issues.  Or something to keep bookmarked for when your children are looking for a school.

Or low-hanging fruit to avoid, if you have the honour of doing outreach.

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Monday Morning Musings and a Bit of Business

She Said It

A few days ago, Stana wrote what I was trying to articulate.  She wrote a post about an old Black Velvet billboard she would see with a beautiful model on it.  She ended with:

Guys encountering such advertisements might wish that they could bed a Black Velvet model. Gals encountering such advertisements might wish they could look like a Black Velvet model.
I wished I could do both.

Nice and succinct and a very real difference ~ one that puts us sharply on the fence between women and civilians.  There's also a bit of regret there.  If I was sitting on that fence and I fell on the "bed" side, I'd be sorry I didn't land on the "look like" side.  And if I fell on the "look like" side, I'd be sorry I didn't land on the "bed" side.

I'm married and that's not going to change.  But I'm more reluctant to come out to (or even show pictures to) a really beautiful woman, because I'm afraid it'll kill my (already nonexistent) chances with her.

On occasion, I've said to a woman "if I was a girl, I'd want to look like you."  It's always taken as a compliment, but it's meant as such and as "really.  I mean it.  Can you help me look like you?"

No End in Sight

I'm still e-mailing P with little hints.  He's not biting, but he's not squashing it either.  I'll have the exchanges in a few days, after I feel it's run its course.

A Bit of Business

I am now a member of the Amazon affiliates program, just in time for the holiday spending season.  This means I may occasionally link to something of interest that Amazon sells, such as Kevyn Aucoin's excellent book on makeup called Making Faces.  I love this book because he does complete looks, and, bonus for us, he also makes a guy over as a girl.  Follow the link if you want to see what the particular item is.  But if you follow an Amazon link and buy anything I get a tiny kickback.  So if you say "I think I'll buy a Precision Twist 9/32" Taper Length Drill 118 Deg HSS L 6 1/4" Flute 3 7/8" for fifty cents or a Leica M7 "50 Year M" System with SUMMILUX-M 1:1.4/50mm ASPH Special Edition Set in Titanium for twenty grand, I get a tiny cut, as long as you go to Amazon from a link on my page.  It doesn't matter what you buy (and PLEASE don't buy that camera, unless you really want it!).  I don't get any information on you, just a tiny cheque every so often.  It helps me to buy muse food. :)

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