Gender Equality!

I was watching State of the Union last Sunday and Candy Crowley (host) had an all-female panel.  (Note: I don't normally watch the Sunday political shows.  They usually have someone on I can't stomach and I hate spending the morning yelling at the tube.)

Candy was wearing what appeared to be an oversize black jacket over a red dress, with black tights.

One guest had on a red cap sleeve top.  It had large (1/4"?) black dots that appeared to be raised ~ maybe embroidery.  She also wore a red skirt, nude hose, platform pumps.

The guest next to her wore a long-sleeve black jacket.  It had small white polka-dots and she had a red pullover under the jacket.

She was next to a guest in a 3/4-sleeve purple button-down shirt.

The final guest had on a red something over a purple shirt.

I could not see the rest of the outfits on the final three guests.  Each had different neckwear, from none to pendants on string, to large pearls.

Then I flipped to Fox News Sunday, simply because it was on at the same time.  There were several male guests wearing white or light blue shirts, patterned ties, dark suits.

I've noticed this phenomenon before.  A common place is at religious services: men dress up in a uniform.  Women dress in anything but.  You can have four women on the dais and see four different tops and bottoms, suits and dresses and skirts and pants.  Four different sleeve lengths, four different shoe styles, four different leg coverings.

I consider the variety permitted a blessing and a curse.  I'd love to have choices like that, but I'm afraid I'd stand in front of the closet for hours, trying to decide what to wear, every day.

But it would be so nice to have that choice!

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My Life At The Moment

I do have work to do during my retreat ~ serious work, and I'm taking it seriously.  I'm not sure my wife is.

Part of my work is to figure out how to keep my marriage functioning ~ to find a way forward that we will both enjoy, and that will nurture us both.

Another part of my work, however, is to explore how much Meg I need in my life.  To that end, I'm taking advantage and doing Meg things that I can't do at home.  So far, it's been simple things.

Meg's stuff is OUT.  I can leave her clothes and makeup in readily accessible locations.  I can spend time at home doing what I call "playing dress-up" ~ it's more than that, of course.  I've said many times that I have too many items, and I want to get rid of what I will not wear out.  This is harder than expected for a couple of reasons I'll explore in another post.  It was eye-opening.

I need to see which shoes I can or cannot wear.  This means at least a couple of hours on my feet in each pair of shoes, something I can't do back home.  Same with earrings: I have many and some Really Hurt Really Quickly... but I don't remember which.  I'm writing down notes on what works and doesn't and I'll find a new home for those that don't work, or at least try cushions for them to try to make them work.

I'd like to practice makeup a bit.  I'd like to practice my "girl voice."  These are things I cannot do at home.

A lot of these things, such as shoes and earrings and voice I can do while I'm doing other activities, so I consider them "free," as far as taking time from my retreat.

I'm also removing a lot more hair than I ever have.  Right now, I can go out wearing a sundress.  Except I don't own any sundresses because I could never go out wearing one before, so I never bought any.  I could go to TJ Maxx or Burlington or Dress Barn or Marshalls or any of the other off-brand shops within a couple of miles of the house, but I'm trying to reduce, remember?  (Refer back to "harder than expected", above.)

I'm spending a bit of time on these activities, but I'm also rationing my time so I can still do the other things I need to/want to do.

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Couple of Things

Saturday, I had a suddenly free few hours.  I spent two of them trying on skirts and writing information on them down in a steno pad.  I'll try to make a spreadsheet out of this soon.  I know, I wrote about this a couple of months ago, and I tried on a couple of dozen skirts then.  Those were on hangers in my closet.  The almost-twenty I tried on Saturday are in boxes in my closet.  I put a couple in the swap bag, and I broke my rule and kept a few that I'll never wear outside, but they're so cute (and mostly short) that I couldn't bear to part with them.  A few more that I labelled "shows bulge" I should have swapped, but maybe I'll find a good gaff or a better way to tuck and they'll be wearable.  I hope so!

I also kept some "schoolgirl" skirts.  I don't know where I found these, but you know the type: short, wide, and plaid.  Fetish stuff, I suppose.

I also came across a pair of shoes I've never worn out, even though they fit pretty well.  They're brown wedges with long ribbons that I suppose I wrap around my calf and tie.  Maybe that's why I never wore them ~ I'm not sure what to do with the ribbons.  But for the short while I had them on they felt really comfortable.

I also finally had time to try on the shoes I got at the last swap, which I still haven't written up.  I have notes, so hopefully when I get to it I'll get it right.

My new travel schedule has me in Arizona for two weeks.  If I can arrange it, I'll get my weekends on each side and travel Monday and Friday.  In between, I'll keep my Sierra Vista room but I'll also get a room in Tucson for the intervening Saturday and I'll spend the night up there.

I don't know when I'll be there, but it might be the last two weeks in October.  This means I'll miss Pride in the Desert.  That was a long shot anyway.  I was also a bit concerned about going there.  I think it's a reach outside my comfort zone, but I would have done it if my schedule worked.  I will be there if my schedule changes!

As soon as I have my schedule firmed up, I'll contact some ladies I'd love to meet.

And, overplanner than I am, I'm already working on how to easily separate what I need for work with what I need for play so I can bring some of my stuff.

But I have no solid plans for anything right now.  So, of course, my most recent fortune cookie says:

Your present plans are going to succeed.

It figures.

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Decisions, Decisions

Pat commented on "life gets in the way" that she also has problems trying to decide what to wear.  I tell people (women, usually) if I was a girl, I'd be late to work every day, because I wouldn't be able to decide what to wear.  "Do I wear a pants or a skirt?  Skirt or a dress?  Long sleeves, short sleeves, 3/4 sleeves, cap sleeves, no sleeves, puffy sleeves, flared sleeves?  Which of the hundred of colours, patterns, materials?  Long skirt, mid calf skirt, short skirt, oh-my-god-she's-wearing-that skirt?"

But I wonder... if Meg went out every day, I'd probably have a better feel for what to wear.  I'd have some favourite outifts and some things I rarely wear but would, just to shake up the pattern.  I don't think it would be a real problem, after the first week, or fifth, or maybe fourteenth.

Part of the problem is, for the occasional dresser, it's like being told you can see one Broadway show ~ you think about all of the also-rans after you choose.

Before I went to dinner with Vanessa, I tried on two different blouses, rejected one as too casual without trying it, and I tried two different (black) skirts, and one dress ~ skipping two others I had pulled out but didn't think fit the occasion.

Imagine if it was a date!  I'd probably still be deciding.

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Life Gets In The Way

I have the house to myself from yesterday midday until tomorrow midday.

My original plan:

Monday evening: I was looking at local meetups.  There are a couple of political ones, and several "meditation" meetups.  I ignored the dance, run, exercise meetups.  Most start around 7, which means Meg could easily attend after work.  Many have just one attendee, which did not interest me.  A few had five or so, which I thought would be just right, even for an introvert.

Tuesday I was to take a day off from work.  Go into DC.  I've been in touch with one of my original makeup ladies; she suggested we get together downtown and we'd go around a bit.  I think it'd be fun to show how I've grown (it's been a number of years, and even though I don't practice as much as I'd like, I know I'm better than I was then, even with her expert help).  I was looking at local events Tuesday evening (and didn't find any).  I shouted out to the local TG "going out" group and heard nothing back.  I looked at Meetup groups I could crash again.  I did hear from Vanessa, who recently moved to my area (actually, we're practically neighbors now) and we're scheduled to meet for dinner tonight.  Vanessa and I missed each other when I was in Richmond (my fault) and I'm not going to miss her again!

Wednesday I was going to go into work late so I can put everything away in a neat, orderly way so I can find everything next time (like my favourite makeup, jewelry by style and colour, etc).  I have dreams I can fly too.

Life intervenes.

My wife has a little family get together Saturday in New York.  We'll all go, but instead of returning Sunday, she procured a little house on a salt marsh in Monument Beach.  That's right at the western edge of Cape Cod.  So we'll go from New York to Cape Cod and stay there for a week.  Unfortunately, I only have four days of vacation time right now ~ new job and all.  My job bills in two week, eighty hour intervals so I can take off five days next week if I can work six days this week.  So taking off Tuesday is out.  Working ten hour days is in.

It's a no-brainer.  As enjoyable as a day as Meg is, I just had one, I'll have dinner with a girlfriend, and I'll get to spend a few days fishing and being with my family.

If any gurls are up in that area and want to get together (alas, I'll not be Meg that week) let me know.

So I have a new schedule.

Monday: Closets Are for Clothes

So I spent last night organising tops.  Tops are slower going than skirts.  To try on skirts, I just need a cinch and time.  I tried on about two dozen skirts in about 45 minutes.  That's all of the skirts I have on hangers.  I have many more in boxes but I didn't get to them yet.  One type of clothes at a time.  I mean, I'd rather have some dresses, skirts, tops logged than only skirts and no idea what to wear with the one I like.  Right? 

For tops, I need a cinch and bra with pads.  So just getting started takes longer.  Then instead of pull on/pull off there are buttons or snaps or ties or sleeve buttons or any combination you can think of.  I tried about fifteen in over an hour.  A couple went into the swap bag.

Dresses, you're next!  Then camisoles. 

I tried on the skirt and shoes I picked up at the swap.  Yes, I'll write about the swap before I go away next week.  And I'll be posting from the cape.  I also had an excellent idea: photo inventory of Meg's clothes.  I need to figure out a good place to lay out or hang up the clothes so I can see the length of skirts and sleeves and I can take pictures of everything in my closet.  (Or I could just wear each.  Duh.)  What I do now is, I dig through the closet and say "I didn't remember I have this!  And it still has tags on it!" and then I wear something else that I was looking for and the new clothes gets sad and lonely.  Or I start trying to match the new item and get way behind schedule.  Yes, it's fun, but my time is often tight.  It would be better to see a montage of skirts, pick what I want, regardless of where I am, or who's around.

And now I know what I'm going to wear to dinner: my black and white dress.  Or maybe a purple fitted top and black tiered skirt.  Or a  black flower design long sleeve top and different black skirt.  Or a salmon cap-sleeve shell and a long multi-coloured skirt with my new gold jewelry and those tangerine wedges.  Or one of my block print dresses.  OK, I am NOT going to wear my long purple pleated skirt.  Well, maybe if I pair it with....

Vanessa!  I may be late! :D
 

Tuesday: Girls' Night Out

I'll be meeting Vanessa tonight for dinner.  Vanessa is far more out than I am.  Dana, the girl I had dinner with in Colorado, is far more out than I am.  I think I'm trailing the field.

Wednesday: Once More Nothing

But a day and a night out over the course of a few days is better than most months!  AND my clothes are more organised.  And I *did* wear a skirt and blouse when I got home on Monday.  Of course.

Please take the poll.  Details are in my introductory post.  I'll have dating poll results soon.  And notes from the clothing swap.  So far, it looks like I'll need to think about a questionnaire, how to distribute it, how to collect reponses, what they mean....  I may need to work with a pro on this.

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Schedule BUSTED

As I mentioned, it's best to get out of the house by 7:40 to avoid traffic.  Yesterday, that didn't work.  I had a few dresses I wanted to try and photograph.  I had some longer skirts I wanted to try.  I have some light, shorter skirts that I wanted to try as well.

To get the best idea how the dresses would fit, I needed to put on my bra, forms, and cinch.  I also wanted to look further back in the closet and see if there were other possibles for Arizona.

I worked fast, but it was about 7:50 before I was done.  Then I had to take off the undergarments, put everything away, get dressed in drab, brush teeth, make sure I didn't leave anything out, put the camera in the basement, get my computer and such for work, and get out the door.

I wasn't real late, but I didn't get to the knee-length-and-above skirts either.

There are several options that I'm posting here.  My hair and makeup are still in the closet, so no head in any of these.  I tried to get my feet for longer skirts.  I didn't try on the white or blue from the other day, but they're still options.

The top in the skirt pictures is just the first thing I grabbed.  I'm actually hoping to get back to the shops today to get a pair or two of summery shoes (I don't really have anything appropriate and comfy shoes are a must, or Meg will have a short time out), and a top or two.  I'm thinking cap sleeves and not shaving as much as I planned.  Or cap sleeves and I WILL shave, just as a dry run for next time.

Let me know what you think, in either comments or e-mail.

Dresses

b&w mini

Ab&w sheath

long pepper

short print

salmon mini

skirts

black maxi

light blue maxi

flame maxi

black flower print

purple flower print

Back In The Closet

But that's not a bad thing. The wife and kids are heading out to an apple orchard for a couple of hours, then going into what passes for mountains in Virginia for a bit.

That means four or five hours on my own.

My closet's a mess. I won't have time to change, makeup, and enjoy my time alone but I will have time to change and try on a couple of things with an eye towards Oct 30. I also need to put things in bags for travel ~ basic makeup, jewelry, lingerie, as well as the right wig and shoes and purse. I'll also move a couple of travel outfits to a part of the closet where they'll be easy to grab without too much thought.

Anything's nicer when you're dressed right.

Dresses!

I've been trying on dresses, looking for something to wear Sunday and for some things to give away.

I tried on 20 dresses. I have three in the "giveaway" pile. I have two more in the "maybe" pile.

I originally pledged to myself that if it wasn't something I was going to wear outside, I'd give it away. This dress I'm wearing, for instance, is really hot ~ short, cap sleeves, not low cut but wide cut so bra straps show, pretty tight but not "show all" tight. I will never wear it out of the house. Maybe if my body was 30 years younger I would.

But it's going back in the closet. It's just too sexy to give away.

One dress I like is a hand-knit dress from Peru. It's nice, it fits well, but it's just not something I can see myself wearing out of the house.... So some lucky woman will get a treasure.

Oh.... I think I've tried on enough dresses tonight. I have 31 more.

Not including suits.

And I still haven't figured out which shoes to wear!