At the Beach ~ An Aside

Tuesday at the beach, Charity and I stopped in a toy store where we picked up a couple of games for us.  Mostly, the store was very kid-oriented.  Charity is more of a game geek than I am, and she spoke at length with the clerk whereas I just interjected with opinions of games every now and then.  I also walked around the store and found components for a play kitchen.

That's not unusual.

What was unusual was, every box showed a boy playing with the kitchen.  There was not a girl in sight.

Stupid me, I didn't take a picture of that section of the store.  But it kind of looked like this:

and it reminded me of this:

We're making progress!  Maybe if more boys learned it's OK to play in the kitchen, there would be fewer sons living in their mom's basement after college.

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Gender Equality!

I was watching State of the Union last Sunday and Candy Crowley (host) had an all-female panel.  (Note: I don't normally watch the Sunday political shows.  They usually have someone on I can't stomach and I hate spending the morning yelling at the tube.)

Candy was wearing what appeared to be an oversize black jacket over a red dress, with black tights.

One guest had on a red cap sleeve top.  It had large (1/4"?) black dots that appeared to be raised ~ maybe embroidery.  She also wore a red skirt, nude hose, platform pumps.

The guest next to her wore a long-sleeve black jacket.  It had small white polka-dots and she had a red pullover under the jacket.

She was next to a guest in a 3/4-sleeve purple button-down shirt.

The final guest had on a red something over a purple shirt.

I could not see the rest of the outfits on the final three guests.  Each had different neckwear, from none to pendants on string, to large pearls.

Then I flipped to Fox News Sunday, simply because it was on at the same time.  There were several male guests wearing white or light blue shirts, patterned ties, dark suits.

I've noticed this phenomenon before.  A common place is at religious services: men dress up in a uniform.  Women dress in anything but.  You can have four women on the dais and see four different tops and bottoms, suits and dresses and skirts and pants.  Four different sleeve lengths, four different shoe styles, four different leg coverings.

I consider the variety permitted a blessing and a curse.  I'd love to have choices like that, but I'm afraid I'd stand in front of the closet for hours, trying to decide what to wear, every day.

But it would be so nice to have that choice!

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Get Over It

Adam is a bit conflicted about gender. He's OK with the shirt, but he's uncomfortable with how he's perceived. I think the problem is we're all too sensitive about gender roles. I also think Laura would let Adam wear her old maternity pants.   Click to enlarge.

Poll Vault

I had a follow-up poll planned for this week.  I actually had two polls, aimed at different audience members.

Then I received a note from a reader I shall call Z (not her real initial). She was trying to answer my poll and she wrote a long note, which I edited:

[U]ntil about a month ago I would have said always a girl, now I'm not sure, I had an incident that surprised and confused me, I was dressed, I think nicely but in no way provocatively [she included a picture and looked quite nice].... [I] stopped for a cup of tea at a refreshments stand in a well know public park.   I'm not shy of being seen anymore.


I was surprised when I was approached by a man a bit younger than me, at first I didn't know how to react, but was friendly and pleased for the company and friendly contact.   However as things progressed I soon realised that I was being chatted up - and more surprised to find I rather liked it.   I surprised myself by allowing things to progress, to some -erm - quite intimate physical contact.   Until now I would have expected to be repelled by even the idea of kissing another man, but I found that I was very turned on - indeed I suspect that if time and circumstances had allowed I would have gone a lot further possibly "all the way".   Since then I have had very mixed emotions I am happy with my wife and my marriage and have no intention of risking it, I had always thought that if I would have been tempted it would have been with a woman, I am content that I can deal with that temptation, but this new one is different.   If I had been asked your poll question a month before I would have said it is always a woman, now I think I would say when I'm a boy I'm with a Girl, when I'm a Girl I'm not sure.


I have a suspicion that [my femme self] is still very young, nearly every experience is a fresh one and she simply hasn't learnt yet how to deal with a lot of these new experiences, unfortunately Mother didn't teach Paula how to do her make up, resist men who are chatting her up, and when to leave a situation.


All very confusing....

Z, I never had an experience like yours, but I have had admirers write to me after seeing my profile on urna, and they've tried hard to get me to go on a "date."  It was a few years ago, probably while I was still going out with company only, still to insecure to do my own makeup and such.

I said no, politely at first and more firmly as they got more insistent.  And they all got more insistent.  At the time, my reason was that the idea of going out with a man just didn't interest me.

Afterwards, I started to think that having a "play date" would be a girl experience I should try.

Firsts are hard, especially when they're unexpected.  And I have a tendency to push back at new experiences.  I say "no" way too often.

The first time I was out and my mentor (makeup lady) held a skirt up to me to see how it fit, I thought I'd pass out from embarrassment.  Fortunately, before I hit the floor I realised that, yeah, this is OK.  This was before I'd ever try something like that myself (in drab).  I do hold clothes up to help judge the fit/look now even when in drab ~ sometimes.

The first time I met with a couple of other t-ladies, as I was leaving one came up to hug me.  I hesitated, then thought, "when in Rome, do as the Romans do" and gave her a warm boob-to-boob hug and cheek-to-cheek "air kisses."  (Later, I thought "when in drag, do as the dragons do" :) .)

One of my first makeup ladies told me to use a brush for lipstick.  I drew back and said "why?"  It seemed like too much work, to me.  She said "because it's much more feminine" and you know ~ she was right.  I often take those extra few seconds to brush on lipstick.

My former boss asked if I had any suits.  I told her I did not, and I saw no need for one.  She said "you should try one.  They're sexy."  I thought suits were too expensive and wearing one would put me too far out of the norm when I went out.  Eventually I did buy one.  Now I own a half-dozen or more.

I think I'd like to try a "play date."  I don't know what I'd do if he tried to end it with a kiss.  I really don't.

Please take this week's poll.  Take a few minutes to think about it.  Imagine the situations and how you might feel!  You can come back and change your answers if tomorrow you think, "you know, I can imagine...."

I'm going to use this little siding to give me more time to think about the results of the first poll.  I don't think it's appropriate for gay t-girls, but perhaps you can show me why I'm wrong.  Comments and e-mail are welcome.

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