Tuesday, January 11, 2011

That's Not Funny

Are there any funny transvestite jokes?  I can't find any, I can't think of any I might have heard.  Are all of the jokes visual?  I mean, what we do is visual, so that might make sense.  There are lots of gay jokes, S&M jokes, jokes about other "offbeat" practices.

Q: What's the definition of a transvestite?
A: A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary.

OK, that's kind of exhausted all of the jokes.  I did ask if there are any "funny transvestite jokes."  This doesn't qualify.  (Neither does the Monica Lewinsky joke.)

Humour can be mean, but humour can also lead to acceptance.  It's the principle of "any publicity is good publicity."

Maybe I need to listen to more Eddie Izzard.



    - You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't.
    - You wear combat boots with a minidress.
    - You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger than your fist.
    - You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon Skin-So-Soft."
    - You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.
    - You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet stockings.
    - Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls.
    - You use glitter to highlight your mustache.
    - You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.
    - Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.
    - You keep spare ammo in your bra.
    - You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on your motorhome.
    - Your purse is a toolbox.
    - You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed pliers.
    - You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.
    - You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.
    - You call your vanity "your work bench."
    - You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners.
    - "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-pennies from the sixteen-pennies.
    - Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you shot last Fall.
    - Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your found on the road.
    - You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.
    - You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.
    - Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs.
    - Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.
    -. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.
    - Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30" on the container.
    - You remove your leg hair with duct tape.

  2. A guy is in Vegas for the weekend. He meets the most beautiful call girl he's ever seen.

    She tells him it's $500 for a hand job.

    "$500 for a hand job?" he says, "That's a lot of money!"

    The call girl says, "You see that Denny's over there? I own that Denny's, because I give a hand job that's worth $500."

    Wow, the guy thinks, impressed. So he pays her the $500 takes her back to his hotel room, and gets the best hand job he's ever imagined.

    "That was incredible!" he tells her. And, figuring the hand job was so good, he decides he's got to ask.

    "That was the best hand job, ever! So, how much for a blow job?"

    "$1000," says the call girl.

    "$1000!" says the guy. "That's outrageous!"

    Says the call girl, pointing out the window, "You see that other Denny's down the road? I own that one too, because I give a blow job that's worth $1000"

    The guy thinks about it, and decides, what the heck? The hand job was incredible, the blow job is going to have to be even better.

    So he pays her the $1000 and gets absolutely the most incredible blow job he's ever imagined.

    He says to the call girl. "You know, the hand job and the blow job we're just amazing, so I just have to ask, how much for a fuck?"

    Says the call girl, walking to the window, "You see that town out there, all the bars, hotels, casinos, restaurants?"

    "You mean to tell me you own the whole town?" asks the guy.

    "No," says the call girl. "But if I had a pussy I would."

  3. A dose of Eddie Izzazd would be good for a lot of folks.
    Humor is generally good, even if it is occasionally mean spirited. There is still a bit of fear that civilians have towards trannys. As a rule folks do not fear that which they find to be humerous. Along those lines I would say that almost all humor would be good.
    By the same token TVs receive more than enough put downs so we do not need more ridicule. We need to move towards the mainstream. You mention humor involving gays. Think about how 'gay' humor has changed over the past few decades.
    I agree that tranny humor tends to lend itself more easily to visual than oral.

  4. This one is a little funny (IMHO):

    How many transvestites does it take to change a light bulb?

    Three. One to climb the ladder to change the light bulb, one to hold the ladder, and one to photograph the event.


  5. I like Stana's joke. Funny and all too true.


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