There was no way in the world that I was going to be able to stuff my regular shoes into my bag. I bought a huge duffel bag while in Arizona. It folds pretty flat, and the idea was that I would pack it into my regular luggage when travelling out and put my overflow in the bag when travelling back. I mean, there are two consignment shops right near my office, plus stores like Marshalls. I wonder if they have a different selection than they do in Virginia, but I haven't had a chance to go in yet.
With the skirts I bought, and the panty I mentioned, and the fact that I couldn't pack around the breast form boxes like I did when heading out my bag was completely stuffed. Every little pocket was packed, and I could barely close the zippers on the main compartment. I put a little overflow into my computer bag. I dumped papers I could reprint at my home office, even though I hate wasting paper. I left behind a half-full bottle of Nair, and a can of shaving gel I bought in Sierra Vista.
And I had two choices when I left Tucson: I could pack a lot of stuff into the duffel and probably have to check it, or I could pack a little into it and it'll flop around like a pea in a pillowcase. As flat as I could make it, the duffel wouldn't fit in my suitcase or my computer bag. So I took the other choice: I left it in the hotel room. I hope someone on the staff made good use of it. Maybe my friend A.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Sunday Funnies
More Piraro. He's not on my regular funnies page so I don't know how I got so many of them, but I did. My favourite is up first and Very Large, if you click on it. The others are more normal size. I had to pick and choose. He's very odd and very funny.
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| I'm a huge Escher fan! |
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| Nothing new under the sun |
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| Sounds like my oldest |
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| Not uncommon, unfortunately |
Saturday, November 5, 2011
"Can?" "Have To?"
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| Bizarro, by Don Piraro |
OK, get the Funny Times. It has great cartoons and columns and it's my preferred reading when I'm on travel. I try to carry things I'll read and toss, but sometimes I clip and bring home half of the paper!
Caution: there's a lot of political humour in there, and they lean left. My conservative readers will probably not find that part of it funny!
Friday, November 4, 2011
OK, Why Stockings?
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| Click if you wanna |
I also brought nude hose and, just because I have never tried them on, a new black garter and two pair of black stockings. One had a very fancy top, lots of lace; the other was plainer.
Not unexpectedly, I didn't have a chance to try on the stockings all week.
Saturday, I pulled out the other black hose and went to put them on. The left foot had a little run, but it was at the toe and wouldn't show. I pulled the left leg up and stretched out the right.
The right leg was in horrible condition. There was a run up the calf and a hole in the toe. And I don't even remember ever wearing them. They were still in their packaging, although the package was open.
The black hose went into the trash. I didn't want to wear the nude hose, so I pulled out the garter (suspender to the UK girls, and I bought it in the UK, on sale for £2). I had to adjust them, something I have rarely done before. Attaching stockings is one of the hardest things women do! No wonder so many wear hose even though they profess to hate them!
There's no "turn it around and close it" like with bras. You have to do the back one behind your leg, and if it's adjusted too short or too long, you pretty much have to adjust it behind your back. Even if you can turn it around (sort of) for one leg, you can't turn it once one leg is attached.
But it is a very feminine feeling. I'll probably do it again, if my skirt isn't too short.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Things I Don't Do
I don't sing. I don't use firearms. I don't juggle. I don't box or wrestle. I don't follow soccer.
The list goes on and on.
Meg has a list too, and one of my goals is to shorten it. Every time I remove an item it means I've stepped out of my comfort zone at least a tiny bit and stepped into my Meg role. At least a tiny bit.
Last Saturday morning, in Tucson, I had breakfast with Liz and Erin. Afterwards, we went to the Pima Air Museum. Before leaving the restaurant, I thought it would probably be wise to use the ladies' room. This is something I have feared, and therefore avoided, so far. The only time I had used the ladies' room before was (coincidentally) with Liz, and she steered me towards a little-used restroom that time.
I didn't do anything stupid, like head towards the wrong door. The room was empty the entire time I was in there, which was longer than I expected. Trying to organise my cinch and camisole and skirt and skirt lining to sit down was a challenge. Trying to make sure everything was organised correctly before opening the stall door was the second challenge. I thought there should be a mirror in the stall, but who'd want to be looking at themselves at that particular moment?
One taboo down. I touched up my lipstick using a small mirror, in the stall. Next time, I'll use the mirror on the wall. That's the next push to expand my self-imposed bubble.
What's left? Puh-lenty.
* I own some very feminine articles of clothing. Lace, ruffles, sequins, embroidery, and so on. I avoid them. I know I'm being read. I don't know what that has to do with my not dressing very femininely. I don't know if women would look at me and say "well, he's not afraid to dress UP" or if they would look at me and say "it's bad enough that he's dressing, but that's WAY over the top!" Or if they'd care at all. I love feminine clothes, and I'm getting there a bit, with brighter colours and swingier skirts, but I have limits and they're keeping Me from becoming Meg.
* I still haven't eaten alone in a restaurant. I'd feel boxed in. If people want to hassle me, I can be stuck in a booth and I wouldn't be able to get up to leave easily. I've never had a problem, so maybe this fits under the "maintain vigilance" heading, but it makes me nervous and I try to trust my gut. I mean, it IS much larger than my brain (and I'm working on that). There's also that ladies' room thing, although I'll have to go whether I'm eating alone or with friends. I have eaten alone in a food court. I have ordered takeaway at a restaurant. I have yet to sit down to a meal alone.
* I haven't worn any kind-of-short skirts. I think just above the knee is the highest I've tried.
* I haven't worn platform/very high heel shoes. This is probably due to lack of finding them in my size more than anything else.
* I haven't worn stockings and a garter belt. Oh wait, I did that Saturday, although I hadn't planned on it.
In the past six months,
* I have gone out barelegged, although I think this is A Bad Idea.
* I have worn open-toed shoes (since I was barelegged, why not).
* I have worn long skirts. I think my legs are OK and why not show them off? But to me, long skirts mean more formal and a bit more blending in with the other ladies.
* I have worn stockings and a garter belt. :)
* I introduced Meg and my male self to a relative stranger.
* I made a transsexual friend. Well, I hope she's my friend. Maybe I should just say "I met a transsexual."
* I shaved my underarms and shoulders enough that I could wear a tank top (which I haven't) or at least cap sleeves (which I have).
I'm missing things in both categories, I'm sure. I would LOVE to hear about your comfort zones and how you've been breaching the self-imposed cage and what's left. Anything from "I wear glossy chapstick as a guy" to "I came out to a friend" to "I went to a club" to "I shave my arms and legs now" to "I hope to go on my porch" to "I want to take a two-week vacation" to ... well, you tell me. You can e-mail me, of course, or comment or comment and put PRIVATE at the top and it'll never get published.
The list goes on and on.
Meg has a list too, and one of my goals is to shorten it. Every time I remove an item it means I've stepped out of my comfort zone at least a tiny bit and stepped into my Meg role. At least a tiny bit.
Last Saturday morning, in Tucson, I had breakfast with Liz and Erin. Afterwards, we went to the Pima Air Museum. Before leaving the restaurant, I thought it would probably be wise to use the ladies' room. This is something I have feared, and therefore avoided, so far. The only time I had used the ladies' room before was (coincidentally) with Liz, and she steered me towards a little-used restroom that time.
I didn't do anything stupid, like head towards the wrong door. The room was empty the entire time I was in there, which was longer than I expected. Trying to organise my cinch and camisole and skirt and skirt lining to sit down was a challenge. Trying to make sure everything was organised correctly before opening the stall door was the second challenge. I thought there should be a mirror in the stall, but who'd want to be looking at themselves at that particular moment?
One taboo down. I touched up my lipstick using a small mirror, in the stall. Next time, I'll use the mirror on the wall. That's the next push to expand my self-imposed bubble.
What's left? Puh-lenty.
* I own some very feminine articles of clothing. Lace, ruffles, sequins, embroidery, and so on. I avoid them. I know I'm being read. I don't know what that has to do with my not dressing very femininely. I don't know if women would look at me and say "well, he's not afraid to dress UP" or if they would look at me and say "it's bad enough that he's dressing, but that's WAY over the top!" Or if they'd care at all. I love feminine clothes, and I'm getting there a bit, with brighter colours and swingier skirts, but I have limits and they're keeping Me from becoming Meg.
* I still haven't eaten alone in a restaurant. I'd feel boxed in. If people want to hassle me, I can be stuck in a booth and I wouldn't be able to get up to leave easily. I've never had a problem, so maybe this fits under the "maintain vigilance" heading, but it makes me nervous and I try to trust my gut. I mean, it IS much larger than my brain (and I'm working on that). There's also that ladies' room thing, although I'll have to go whether I'm eating alone or with friends. I have eaten alone in a food court. I have ordered takeaway at a restaurant. I have yet to sit down to a meal alone.
* I haven't worn any kind-of-short skirts. I think just above the knee is the highest I've tried.
* I haven't worn platform/very high heel shoes. This is probably due to lack of finding them in my size more than anything else.
* I haven't worn stockings and a garter belt. Oh wait, I did that Saturday, although I hadn't planned on it.
In the past six months,
* I have gone out barelegged, although I think this is A Bad Idea.
* I have worn open-toed shoes (since I was barelegged, why not).
* I have worn long skirts. I think my legs are OK and why not show them off? But to me, long skirts mean more formal and a bit more blending in with the other ladies.
* I have worn stockings and a garter belt. :)
* I introduced Meg and my male self to a relative stranger.
* I made a transsexual friend. Well, I hope she's my friend. Maybe I should just say "I met a transsexual."
* I shaved my underarms and shoulders enough that I could wear a tank top (which I haven't) or at least cap sleeves (which I have).
I'm missing things in both categories, I'm sure. I would LOVE to hear about your comfort zones and how you've been breaching the self-imposed cage and what's left. Anything from "I wear glossy chapstick as a guy" to "I came out to a friend" to "I went to a club" to "I shave my arms and legs now" to "I hope to go on my porch" to "I want to take a two-week vacation" to ... well, you tell me. You can e-mail me, of course, or comment or comment and put PRIVATE at the top and it'll never get published.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
One More Note About A
Then I'll return to the main event. (A, I hope that didn't sound like you're an afterthought! You're my newest friend!)
She gave Dorothy and me her e-mail address, which turned out to be the wrong one. It seems to belong to someone ~ I wrote and it didn't bounce. There may be a very confused person out there.
After we all said goodnight, I went up to my room and took a few pictures because I wasn't sure I had one that showed my new hose. This is my first time in patterned hose. Also that dress is new. But instead of enjoying The Meg Experience, I changed right away for two reasons. One, it was late. I took out my contacts and used my eye makeup remover, then I stripped off my clothes and jumped into the shower (again) to scrub off the rest of my makeup. I put my glasses on and instead of my nightie, I put on the clothes I had worn to work that day. They were still women's clothing; I decided I'd go female in case I didn't have a chance to do the full dressup. Jeans, women's shirt, sneakers. I skipped the socks and cami I wore earlier.
And reason number two: I went down to the front desk to say hi to A.
It was less than 30 minutes from the time Meg left until I showed back up.
I was greeted with an enthusiastic "hi!" and a "how can I help you?"
I leaned close and in a whispery voice said "I'm... Meg."
Affirmations like hers are priceless. She said "When I saw Meg, I knew I checked you in, but I didn't remember you." She swears she didn't recognise me, and I'll take that at face value. Unless it was the Clark Kent thing, now that I had my glasses on.
She gave Dorothy and me her e-mail address, which turned out to be the wrong one. It seems to belong to someone ~ I wrote and it didn't bounce. There may be a very confused person out there.
After we all said goodnight, I went up to my room and took a few pictures because I wasn't sure I had one that showed my new hose. This is my first time in patterned hose. Also that dress is new. But instead of enjoying The Meg Experience, I changed right away for two reasons. One, it was late. I took out my contacts and used my eye makeup remover, then I stripped off my clothes and jumped into the shower (again) to scrub off the rest of my makeup. I put my glasses on and instead of my nightie, I put on the clothes I had worn to work that day. They were still women's clothing; I decided I'd go female in case I didn't have a chance to do the full dressup. Jeans, women's shirt, sneakers. I skipped the socks and cami I wore earlier.
And reason number two: I went down to the front desk to say hi to A.
It was less than 30 minutes from the time Meg left until I showed back up.
I was greeted with an enthusiastic "hi!" and a "how can I help you?"
I leaned close and in a whispery voice said "I'm... Meg."
Affirmations like hers are priceless. She said "When I saw Meg, I knew I checked you in, but I didn't remember you." She swears she didn't recognise me, and I'll take that at face value. Unless it was the Clark Kent thing, now that I had my glasses on.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Dorothy, A, and Meg
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| Meg, A, and Dorothy |
When we returned to my hotel, I was distracted for a moment and, as I mentioned the other day, Dorothy started talking to the lady at the desk. I'll call her A.
I didn't have a problem really when Dorothy asserted that this was a lifestyle moment, not a Halloween one. A didn't either, and started talking about her own personal lifestyle. She said she was polyamourous. Dorothy looked confused and said "what's that?" and I jumped in and said "swingers." OK, I know that that's not quite it. A looked pained and said "we believe that you can love more than one person equally" and I stage-whispered to Dorothy "swingers."
A is very nice and she told us a lot about herself and we shared stories and experiences. One thing I learned is our personal quirks (if I can call them that) have the same deep-seated roots: I know cd'ers who have divorced because their wives couldn't accept them and they couldn't accept being deep in the closet. A divorced because she was in a "vanilla" marriage and needed to explore who she really was, how she really felt. She also has a (and I probably have this wrong and A can correct me) D-and-S side and that's part of her relationships too. I said "if you meet girls like us, we're most likely subs."
A said that she thinks what we do is just fine, but couched it as "who am I to talk?" I pointed out that we're kind of in the same boat: I can't go up to people and say "hi! I crossdress. What do you think about that?" And she can't say "hi! We're pretty open, and you're a cute couple and are you interested?" Not safely, anyway. There are a lot of crossdressers in the closet, but I think it's worse for people who love in their own way to be in the closet too.
I bet Dorothy looks her up again. I'll probably stay at the same hotel next time I visit; maybe we can all go out together. And Thank You Dorothy! If you hadn't started chatting with her, I would have not met another of the way-too-rare accepting women! And I got to learn from someone different than me.
And, by the way, A has on a casual shirt like I've been looking for, for when I travel to Arizona.
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