Friday, April 27, 2012

Yet Another Female Experience Poll

(private note to Lisa: your e-mail's been hacked.  Sorry)

Last time, I did the "would you want to give birth" poll.  I think that's the ultimate female experience, one that no-one born with an XY can experience.  I did include breastfeeding, and there is anecdotal evidence that men can wet nurse.  I've never met one who claims to have done so, but I don't get out much.

This week, I want to focus on an experience we can have, but rarely do.  I know (again, anecdotally but I find it credible) that couples have done this.

It involves being a bride.

I'll go from the lightest wedding experience up to Xtreme Xdress Wedding.  I know this is a lot for one poll, and I hope you'll think about this (if you haven't already ~ and I know many of you have) and choose the best option.

Try on a wedding dress.  This is pretty straightforward.  You can shop or try one on at home, as your comfort level allows.
Try on a wedding dress and all of the accessories.  The shoes, the veil, hold the flowers, gloves if that's part of it.  And the garter, of course.
Get ready for wedding day.  This has to be an out-of-house experience.  Get your hair (wig) styled (while you're wearing it.  Get your makeup done.  Wear everything as if you're about to walk down the aisle.
Wedding ceremony with a female partner.  She'd be playing the male role.  Two brides is silly.  Since you're dressed as a bride, a civil ceremony is out.  You'd walk down the aisle, be given away (not necessarily by your dad), clergy will ask you to exchange rings and vows and a kiss.  Photographs and/or video will be taken.  Bridesmaids and ushers (or at least a best mand and maid of honour) will be present.  A flower girl and ring bearer are optional ~ you decide how big your wedding will be.  You're the bride.  It's your day.  Don't forget the receiving line and guests (yes!  There will be guests!) tossing rice or bird seed or blowing bubbles at you as you leave.
Wedding ceremony with a male partner.  Same as above but with a male groom.  I'm not going to differentiate between straight and gay readers.  Life isn't that simple and we all know it.
Wedding and reception with a female partner.  After the wedding there's a large reception or an intimate dinner for the party and a few guests.  It's up to you, but we're adding more pictures/video, cutting the cake, dancing with a variety of guests and wedding party members, and kissing when the guests tap their glasses.  And a few more hours in that dress.
Wedding and reception with a male partner.  You know the drill.
Wedding, reception, and wedding night with a female partner.  All of the above and you consummate your new relationship.  Honeymoon optional, but if you go, you stick to your roles.
Wedding, reception, and wedding night with a male partner.  I think unless we continue on to a honeymoon, moving in together, and living happily ever after this is the ultimate experience.

What do you think?  How far would you go?

The poll closes just about the same time I leave this job.


  1. You left out another option, having a two brides wedding and reception attended by all your T Friends. I attended one such event em femme a few years ago with my spouse. One bride was a post-op TS, the other was pre-op. I also got to attend the bridal shower a few weeks prior.

    Meg, coincidentally, there is a bridal fashion show this Sunday at the University of Maryland.
    I think you should attend as Meg and report back to your readers, to further your research.


  2. Sharon ~ I did address (and dismiss) the two bride scenario.

    I really like the idea of attending the fashion show... even if I have to go in drab.

  3. Nice poll.
    Part of me wanted to check multiple answers. I suspect that when I was younger I would have voted for the full ceremony and reception etc. At this point I think the best I could hope to push would be between wearing the dress and accessories and getting the bridal prep treatment.
    The bridal dress concept is quite popular with our crowd and I have mentioned it to my wife from time to time. If I ever did go that route I would love to do it with my wife.
    Like Sharon I would not dismiss the '2 bride' scenario. My wife can still wear her wedding dress from almost 4 decades back. I would love to try the dual bridal prep and ceremony concept but realistically do not see it happening. I do count my blessings and I would gladly renew my vows with my wife.
    At this point, alas, I am also aging out of the 'mother of the bride' age range but that could be fun as well.

  4. For anyone else who wants to see this event, Sharon mistyped the URL. It's . $25 a ticket.

  5. I have never considered this one, I suppose because I have never considered being a bride. I have recently bought myself a "Mother of the Bride Suit" but I don't suppose my daughter would let me wear it, mind you as she is only 14 I hope it is a long time before she gets married. When we got married it was a straight choice between registry office or Church, as at the time we were not practising Christians we decided on the registry office, so we both wore suits, mine still fits, I suspect that my wife's would fit me as well, but I think it would be too intrusive for me to try.


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