Monday, August 29, 2011

I Care -- I Don't Care

A while back, I wrote to a t-blogger that, based on her recent posts, I easily found her full name and address.  I wrote to her to warn her that she might have posted TMI.  She wrote back:

I don't care.

At the time, I thought that was a flippant response, the kind of thing that someone might write if they DID care but realised there was nothing they could do about it.  It didn't seem like her at all, but no matter how well you know someone, it's always possible to be surprised by their reaction to a new situation.  And I don't know her very well.

Well, I was wrong.

Like many of us, at some point I was terrified of being found out.  Some of us are still there.  Some of us have progressed to "I don't care."

"I don't care" is a goal.  I'm not sure if it's the goal, like winning a game, or a goal, like using all seven letters.

"I care" is a fear response.  It's not "I care because I'm compassionate"; it's "I care because I'm scared of what will happen."

Vanessa and Dana, the two ladies I dined with, have progressed toward "I don't care."  (Yes, I owe y'all a recap of my time spent with Vanessa.)

I've progressed some towards "I don't care" but... I still care.  If I was suddenly on my own, I wouldn't care if my friends and neighbors and co-workers knew.  I think.  Since I'm not, I care because my wife would object to me being openly out.  Maybe if it was reality, she'd object less, but I don't know ~ and I care.

I care, but not as much as I used to.  I guess that means I'm less scared.  No care is no fear, and that's a good thing, even though "I don't care" sounds like a bad thing. 

There are plenty of causes and people to care about.  I'd rather my "care energy" was spent on the external than on the internal.


  1. I resemble that remark! LOL

    And BTW I still don't care.

  2. I think I finally reached the "I don't care" point when I changed the profile picture on Jenny's Facebook page to a picture that includes my face.
    As I have one person from work and another from outside work as Friends on that account there's a distinct possibility that people who come across the account, via either of these two people, will recognize me.

    I could have kept the things more anonymous but I really don't care anymore so if someone recognises me then its up to them if they care enough to mention it to me or not.

  3. Even if my wife were OK with it, I think I'd care because I'd be concerned about how my kids would react. I'm well known to many of their friends--having worked closely with band and drama in their high school years--and I wouldn't want to embarrass them.

  4. I suppose that there may be an entire "care/don't care" spectrum. I still care an awful lot since knowledge of my T-ness would upset lots of apple cares. My wife's level of care regarding possible disclosure is off the intensity scale.
    Nevertheless, every time you post a blog note, or put on a dress, or get out while dressed, or do anything of a "T" nature that has even the most remote possibility of making contact with the civilian population a bit of the "care" wall gets chipped away.


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