Saturday, August 6, 2011

A Surprise

Wednesday evening, out of nowhere, my wife said "so are you looking forward to Sunday?"

I replied "absolutely."  I thought this was leading to some reason that I couldn't/shouldn't go, which would be historically a good bet.  She didn't go there.

She asked what goes on there and it was totally unexpected ~ all I could think of was "people bring clothes.  People look at clothes.  People take clothes home.  The leftovers go to a thrift shop or women's shelter."  I completely forgot about makeovers, massage, manicures, pot luck food, canned or live music....  Although I did mention that I'm bringing a Large Quantity of soft drinks and such.

She also asked how I found out about the swap, and I told her I requested information on Meetup a long time ago and years later I got an e-mail from Kim saying she was holding a swap.  I wrote back and said "I may not be the type of member you're looking for" and explained that my gender didn't match my profile picture.  She said that she welcomes everyone and we've been friends ever since.

I volunteered information about her husband and kids and things she knew would make Kim "not my type" in case she was worried about something going on between Kim and me.

I told her where it's held, and how many people will be there.  I told her I checked the attendee list, looking for anyone I might know (I didn't find anyone). 

I figured, the more information I volunteer, the less she'll worry that I'm holding something back.

Mostly, I was just amazed that she was interested, no matter what her motive.

Hopefully, she realises that she goes out and does (many many) things with her friends that don't interest me, and I don't complain and she owes me, at least, one.

Follow-Up: It's not so surprising after all.  I wrote the above Friday morning; Friday night my wife comes up with the great news that my son doesn't have to be at the fair both days after all ~ he can take off one day!  I said "that would be Saturday, since awards and breakdown are Sunday" and he said "I can rest on my birthday [Sunday]."  She then asked the woman in charge who basically said he'd need to check in periodically to ensure the exhibits were in good shape on both days, but he can come in late if he wishes.

Later, I pulled my wife aside and said "please don't mess up my Sunday.  I'd like to start getting ready around 9:30, no later than 10."  She said "Oh.  I didn't know you were going in drag."

Yes she did.  I made it quite clear.

Then she tried "the fair doesn't open that early on Sunday."  So I checked.  It does.

I'm going Sunday if I have to get a room somewhere to change.

Saturday will be spent trying to not be angry.  But I'm angry.


  1. Meg, I hope Sunday goes well. I know that you've been looking forward to it.

    As for the conversations with your wife: you may not be the only one who's angry. I'm probably projecting here but my wife often feels angry about my crossdressing but isn't sure how to express that anger. And this from a woman who seldom expresses her anger about anything. What happens is I'll get this kind of passive-aggressive treatment for a while(which I don't pick up on until after the fact - but you really can't blame me since we've been married only 30years) and then a big outburst.

    Sometimes the whole being married to someone you love very much but who doesn't like this other part of us can be very difficult.

  2. Aren't families wonderful!
    My other half goes quiet when she's angry with me. When I realise that she's upset and ask her she says she's fine. Sometimes I find out what the reason for it is.

    I was due to go out the other Saturday to spend time with some female friends, returning the following day having crashed at one friends. I'd explained what time I needed to go and why, everything was above board. The night before I was due to go other half came home from her night out with the girls and started getting stroppy about me going, so much so that I just gave up on the idea and cancelled at the last minute.

    I hope you have a great time on Sunday.

  3. Jenny ~ I'm sorry you had to cancel, but you're a smart lady: know when to fold 'em.

    I'm always a pushover, very giving no matter what my role. This time I'm pushing back a bit.

  4. Linda Marie, you said a mouthful with that last line. Sometimes I wonder how my wife would feel about me going out dressed -- not gonna happen since I'm very much in the closet, but I'm still curious. At least she doesn't give me grief about what I wear around the house, although in 22+ years of marriage the most she has said about it is "it's not one of the things I love most about you." She also acknowledges that she does things she knows I'm not wild about, so we have more or less friendly truce on the subject.

  5. Meg,
    Yup, I've learned when to give in and when not to over the years, usually end up going with the flow because it lets me have an quieter life, which is why the other half thinks she can get away with things like that.

    I love Kenny Rogers by the way, The Gambler is one of my favourite songs.

  6. Ralph: Wiser women than I have pointed out that Closets Are For Clothes.


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