Friday, October 31, 2014

Timeline II, Part II: No More Support

(I hope you guys are taking advantage of national dressup day!  There's a Halloween bonus at the bottom of the post.)

In November 2011, Penny's wife of 15 years (I did not know her name either; I knew her as Aeify) wrote me and asked me to call.  She wanted to discuss something and not in e-mail.

I called.

Penny had died.

We spoke on the phone briefly, cried briefly, and started exchanging e-mails.  Penny and Aeify had little live involvement in the community and I wanted to be there for anything she wanted to talk about that she couldn't share with family and (civilian) friends.

In early December, Aeify wrote that she was coming to DC with a friend for a day or so.

Prior to this, I would ask my wife before I'd meet with an on-line (female) friend.  She'd come up with rules or need to be present or something for no reason I could ever discern.  How an on-line friend is different from, say, a woman I meet at work is not something I could see.

This time, I told her I would be meeting Aeify in DC for breakfast.  I felt it was the right thing to do to be able to talk with her about trans issues without any civilians present ~ especially one who was borderline hostile, as my wife was.

I wend in drab and met Aeify for breakfast and a little walk and talk around DC.

We walked a lot.  We talked a LOT.  I learned some deep, intimate things about her, like her first name (Charity) and Penny's real name.  We spoke about her marriage, how she felt about trans, what was next in her life....

We talked a LOT.  Her friend finally found us and dragged her away.

 Halloween bonus.  Click to enlarge or zoom in!


I'll wear them!  Pick me!

And a little dressup by Big Nate


  1. Thank you for bring Penny back into the conversation. I followed her writings and was very sad when she was gone. I always felt that your friendship with Charity was a tribute to Penny.

  2. Very touching, Meg.

    But I have to ask... why did you feel the need to tell your (soon to be ex) wife that you were meeting anyone? I suppose you hadn't really quite disconnected from her at that point.



    1. I had not. This was before the marital therapy, shortly after the "last straw" event.

      Maybe I need to add a timeline visual. :)

  3. I'm sorry I must've missed a post
    What was the last straw?

  4. Marci, it was:


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