Friday, February 22, 2013

The Lady Is a Gentleman!

I've been to several clothing swaps.

I don't do well at the swaps.

I usually come home with a couple of OK items at best.  Often, I get the "what's left" items while the nice skirts and dresses go to the other women.

I was going to write "the problem is..." but it's not really a problem.  So: the reason is, my natural tendency is towards behaviour you'd characterise as 'chivalrous' or 'gentlemanly.'

I respect women.  If there is a woman nearby, when I open a door I stand aside so she can go through first.  She will enter and leave an elevator first.  A year or so ago, I saw a woman and a car by the side of the road near the development where I lived.  Her trunk was open.  I drove into the development, walked back the hundred or two yards to her car, and saw she had a flat.  Which I changed.  My brain normally interprets a woman saying "I would like" as "you should do."

Now, I try to respect everyone, but there's a difference.  I won't slam a door in a guy's face, and I'll hold it if he has full arms (and say something to that effect), but it's definitely different for women.

It's hard to remember that I'm on the 'receiving end,' so to speak, when I'm dressed.

I have to stop letting other women go ahead of me when boarding an elevator, for instance.  I have to remember I've been elevated ~ and I'm now among equals when pawing through the swap tables.

I'd bet that most of us agree: if asked, we'd proudly admit that we put women on a pedestal.  We don't crossdress to mock women; we do it out of admiration ~ at least to some extent.

It's one more thing that's not natural but necessary if I'm going to pass well: stand straight, legs together, feminine walk, smile more, avoid looking at random men, and don't grab for the cheque or give up your seat to a younger woman.  And be bold when looking at the swap tables.


  1. My view is that good manners never go out of style and are never out of place. I see your point but in my view keep your behavior proper and respectful to all. Keep that smile on your face and you will do just fine.

  2. Great observation! That's definitely something I have to watch out for....

  3. Sigh...yes. I had trouble at the swaps :)

  4. I tend to that as well. As a man, I seem to take the leadership role. However, as a transgendered woman, I love letting go. And feel treated as a woman, cared for as a woman, and being a woman.


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