Monday, May 7, 2012

Remember The Wedding Poll?

A few weeks ago, I asked you if you'd want to have the Ultimate Female Experience: giving birth.

Last week, I ratcheted it down a bit, into the realm of reality, and asked if you'd like to be a bride.  The idea was to think about the wedding experience ~ how far would you go.

Please Click To Enlarge
Eleven percent said they have no interest.  That's cool.  For some of us, just trying on the gown is at the top of our bucket list.  Some of us just aren't interested.  I can see that.  It's a lot of work.  But even though I'd be happy never wearing a wedding gown I'd be happy to wear one as well.  So that's not my choice.

I'm going to remove those 15 from the total ~ leaving 119 votes ~ and jimmy the percentages to match that new sample size.  The total vote can be seen at the bottom of the poll (for you purists).

Just three of you (about three percent) would just want to try on the dress and stop there.  Again, I'd be happy with that, but I'd go further given the opportunity.

Thirteen readers (about eleven percent) would want to try on the whole outfit ~ shoes and veil and accessories.  And adding these two categories together gives us more ladies than the ones with no interest.

Then there's the full wedding day preparations: makeover, hair styled, get the gown and everything perfect... just stop short of an actual wedding.  That's probably where I'd stop.  And I'd probably regret missing the opportunity to go further.  About an equal number of you would like to try on the full outfit as would like to do the full prep.

And now it gets interesting.

The following options are paired.  How much further would you want to go?  And would you want to go with a male groom or a female groom?

Keep in mind what the bride does at a wedding.  At the ceremony, she kisses the groom, at least once.  At the reception they will dance, kiss, cut the cake together, enter together....  And next up is the wedding night.

Even though I am admittedly straight, I can see the attraction of having a male groom: authenticity.  Consider it a role you're playing while all around are being real.  I could be sold on that, at least through the ceremony.  Maybe through the reception.  Not through the wedding night/honeymoon.

But I'd love to go on with a female "groom."  If it was someone I'd marry with normal roles, that would be even better.  I'm not much of a role player, and I don't like to be the centre of attention, but I'd go as far as the ceremony.  I might do the reception, but that might be too far for me.  And as for wedding night....  It would have to be with the woman I married, or would marry, or married that afternoon.  I'm just old-fashioned that way.

About forty percent of readers who'd like to at least put on a dress would like to go through with the wedding, with a female groom.  Seven would just do the ceremony, another five would do the reception as well, and 36 would like to consummate the marriage.

The male groom results are surprising.  Only one of you would want to walk down the aisle with a male groom.  Only one would want to go through the reception with a male groom.  But 39 more (a total of about 34 percent) would do the whole nine yards with a male groom!  If male was the only groom option, I'd be in the tiniest of minorities!

I'm not even going to guess at the reasons.  The problem with that gay/straight spectrum is, as we know, it doesn't really exist.  And when you through trans into the mix, it gets fuzzier.  Earlier polls revealed those of us who are "clothes straight" for example ~ we love women when in drab, we love men when in drag.  It could be I have more traditional gay readers than I thought.  It could be an experience thing ~ how far can I go in taking the female role?

If any of you would like to share your thoughts, I'd love to hear them.

Next up: I'll tone down the experience a bit.  And again, if anyone has a poll idea, or a female experience idea, please pass it on in comments or e-mail.

A quick summary: 11% no interest in wedding dresses At All.  22% say it's all about the dress.  36% want the wedding (or more) experience with a woman in a tux.  The final 31% want the full experience with a male partner.  What a diverse group you are!

Finally, let's look at the raw results. 

I have no interest in weddings or wedding dresses
  15 (11%)
I'd wear the dress
  3 (2%)
I'd wear the dress, shoes, etc.
  13 (9%)
I'd do the wedding day prep
  14 (10%)
I'd like the wedding ceremony with a female groom
  7 (5%)
I'd like the wedding ceremony with a male groom
  1 (0%)
Ceremony and reception with a female groom
  5 (3%)
Ceremony and reception with a male groom
  1 (0%)
Ceremony, reception, and wedding night with a female groom
  36 (26%)
Ceremony, reception, and wedding night with a male groom
  39 (29%)


  1. I can't really quibble with your analysis. While many of us really do look for opportunities to do our dressing much of our time we spend in drab...including much of the time we spend on line following your blog and others.

    Out of necessity much of our TG side must be exercised in our minds. Fantasy is a wonderful thing and the way you set up the poll you were basically asking questions that could lend themselves to both realistic and fantasy responses. If reality is suspended then there is no rein on fantasy. If potential realization of the various steps set forth in your poll is used as a guidepost I would think that the responses would have been a bit more tame.

    I responded that I would do the 'wedding day prep' which you conditioned as an 'out of the house' event. This may have been a stretch using the 'reality' standard. I do harbor the semi-realistic possibility that I could do an at home full wedding outfit. If I applied a fantasy guideline then I would love to remarry my wife as two brides.
    Good poll. Keep them coming.

  2. I believe as Scalesman, above it would be an affair in fantasy. I would want everything..
    (it's MY day!)but I'd be very accepting of my future partner's wants as well (it would there special day too!) Then, I guess we'd get down logistics, like where, and who would allow US to joint (probably end up with a civil union etc.) and where we could be allowed to celebrated....acception of these ideas are changing so the future holds such wonders!

  3. A female groom would be nice....
    Of course, after we were married, she could boss me around the house a bit... hee!


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