Surprise and No Surprise

We went up to Baltimore last weekend.  After visiting the aquarium, we wandered around the harbor area and walked into the visitor center for a few minutes.  They had, among other brochures and books, a visitor's guide.

Surprise: they also had an "LGBT Visitor's Guide."

It was largely a regular visitor's guide with some ads geared towards same-sex marriage and such.  There was a short table of "TAG approved" places to stay.  There was also a box explaining what TAG approved meant: it meant gay-friendly.  There was an article about the GLCCB (Gay & Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore).

No Surprise: there was no T content that I could see, although there were three small business card ads under "trans" in the back: two were support groups for transmen; one was for tgirls but "anyone who varies from traditional gender expression is welcome."

Ah well.  Someday, people will figure out we ain't (necessarily) gay.

ps ~ today's Charity's birthday.  I won't say which one because I don't want y'all to know how young she is.

---

Boo!

A special shout to four ladies I once worked with.

I told the story of surprising my old boss with the help of a former co-worker whom I came out to.  The co-worker is very conservative, quite religious, and open-minded enough that I felt it was OK to tell her about Meg and she helped me get dressed and we met our former boss for lunch on Halloween (hence the Boo!).

That was in 2008 and the story is here.  After reading, go to the very bottom (past the comments) and read the rest of the story in the next three posts.

The following year, I came out to my new boss at a new job and she was very enthusiastic about me coming in dressed on Halloween.  She was busy when I got in after dressing and I just went up to a co-worker (the office fashionista) who not only didn't recognise me but she proceeded to introduce me around the office as a new employee, fooling everybody.  That story is here, and also in four parts.

So a shout-out to four great women.  You all raised my confidence immensely and taught me t-girls were as welcome as g-girls.

---

Sunday Funnies: The Middletons

I don't think I've ever featured Ralph Dunagin's The Middletons.  It has a remarkably small cast (the main characters are Morris and Midge and their son, and their dog Bumper, who's only matched in meanness by Morris' mom.

I SAID she was mean

I wanna do this

Something We Can All Appreciate

Shoes!

Baby Blues

Between Friends

The Duplex

Pearls Before Swine

Speed bump

Elizabeth Taylor. Really.

Beth is my idea of what every GG should be.  She's friendly, she's outgoing, she does makeup for the T community (she's done mine!  Pictures here) and incorporates photo sessions.

She started coming to Christine and Pamela's soirees a while back and enjoys hanging with the "new girls."

Who could ask for anything more?

And her name really is Elizabeth Taylor.  Her website is Makeovers With Elizabeth Taylor and she does fine work: judge for yourself, and maybe give her a shout when you're in the DC area.  (And even cooler, her full name is Elizabeth Ann Taylor so if she decided to just use her middle name she'd still have a dress connection.)

---

No Brainer

Yesterday's post should be a clue.

Sharon has been out in the t-community for much longer than I have.  She's been involved in support groups, Keystone, and more.

When I first met Sharon (at a soiree?) we started chatting and realised we had met before.  Kim (who I gave a shout-out to recently) organised a t-clothing swap.  She had a makeup artist friend (who, alas, has moved away) there and a dozen or so girls.  She convinced a photographer friend to open her house to us, and she took posed pictures of us ~ a new experience for some.

I was new-to-being-out and kind of nervous and didn't chat with many people.  This was in May, 2009.  I'm not sure I spoke to Sharon at all.  My loss.

Since becoming re-acquainted, we've met in every combination possible: my male and female persona have met her male and female persona.  She's come over to change before going out; small children at home make changing tricky.  We've met each others' spouses.

She's one of the good ones.

---

Thought Piece

This is a kind of long essay from my friend Sharon.  It's well-written and worth reading.  She asks some interesting questions which I think will encourage different responses, depending on where you are in the t-spectrum.  It's on a subject close to Sharon, and I think instrumental to who she is ~ fitting to insert into the middle of my "who I am" series.

Transgender Support Groups: A History

By Sharon Rose

Once upon a time, there was a support group in the suburbs outside our nation’s capitol.  It   The group met in hotel rooms at first, and later moved to a church.  It advertised in a newspaper.  But it had rules to protect the identities of its members, and so it carefully screened new members with an interview before revealing the secret meeting location.  It was the early 1980s, and many of the members worked at the Pentagon, in the defense industry, or in various branches of the U.S. Government.  The meeting place was a safe place for those who were just beginning to discover their transgender identity and also for those who did not want to go to more public spaces.

The author, Sharon Rose

was a place for transgender people to socialize in private, to learn about themselves and others, and to discover that they were not alone.

            For over 30 years it continued to function. It held monthly meetings.  It put out a newsletter.  The group brought in guest speakers to help with various aspects of maintaining an alternate gender presentation (clothing, wigs, makeup, nail care, etc.), or members presented programs of their own. Each December they had a holiday gala at a local hotel with dinner and live entertainment. And a few members performed outreach, speaking with students at local universities or with religious institutions about what it means to be transgender. A small cadre of members performed key tasks and served on the board of directors.

            Members of the group traveled far and wide to attend meetings. Close friendships were formed.  But times began to change.  The growth of the Internet and the rise of social media meant that much information was now readily available by computer.  And Trans people could make connections online, and knew there were others out there like them.  And society was changing too.  The rising social acceptance of gays and lesbians gave transgender people hope that they too could be accepted.  More and more transgender people were going out in public.  Those who were comfortable doing so no longer needed to meet in private.  The group shrank in size as members left the group to join other groups or go out in public on their own.

            Other groups have been formed on Meetup.com and other social networking sites, and Trans people are connected on Facebook and other platforms as never before. They hold events in bars and restaurants, and those who are comfortable go anywhere they want to.  The possibilities to socialize are limitless.

           

            The questions I have are twofold. First, are traditional support groups a thing of the past?  Do Trans people need a structured organization with a one-size-fits all approach to provide information and provide a safe space for those starting on their Trans journey?  Or can they find most of the information they need online, and simply contact one of the newer social groups when they are ready to go out in public?  I suspect there may be some people who need help getting from point A to point B.  What are your thoughts?

            Second, what about providing outreach?  There is still much that Trans people can do to educate the general public. Do we still need it, and how can we do it?

            Like any small group, a Trans organization can only prosper if a core group of people are willing to work to get things done, and if others come forward to replace them when they leave or need a break.  But I believe that those of us who have come before need to pay it forward and help those who are just beginning to explore their trans identity.

            Ultimately, the organization is just a framework.  We can all connect on an individual level to help someone else, no matter how the group is organized.

            Dear readers, I want to thank Meg once again for allowing me to write a guest post on her blog.  I invite you to share your experiences with support groups in the comments section below.