Thursday, June 19, 2014

Endpoint: Full-Time

(my good friend Sharon had an excellent point: there are negative endpoints.  I'm going to continue to use that term, but I think I should have substituted goals.  I mean we all have the same final endpoint, no?  I always want to answer the flight attendant's "what's your final destination?" with "that depends on the kind of life I led.")

I have met with, and spoken with, and read about several full-time girls.  They have no plans for surgery or hormones.  They seem to have no interest in going that final mile.

I know others who would love to go full-time but don't for good reasons ~ things like job or family, for instance.  As important as it is to be your true self all the time, there are priorities and there always will be tradeoffs in life.  See my post from Monday, or Stana's excellent explanation from Tuesday.

I believe full-time also offers the option of trading down: if there's a reason to not be your femme self, you could pass for male (or close to it).  I can imagine, if I were full-time, that would be difficult but doable.  When I travel with my son, my girl wardrobe and luggage is virtually non-existent, and that's hard.  Even switching back to pajamas instead of a gown feels weird.  But it needs to be done, so I do it.

Of course, there are full-time perks that don't trade down without planning... the same way that I have to plan to "trade up" to female mode.  My brows and fingernails, for instance, would be very different if I were full-time.

I'm not.  It takes a lot of time every day to get ready and I'm not sure I want to make a commitment to that every day of every week.  But in the event of the "perfect storm" (no family obligations, a job opportunity as Meg) I can see myself full-time.  My two-hour prep would probably be cut in half just by getting electrolysis or some other "permanent" hair removal and keeping brows and nails ready-to-go.  I'd also develop more of a casual wardrobe than I have now, and I'd be more familiar with the clothes I have, and know what works, and what I like.  And I'm sure I can get that makeup routine down!

I have no plans, but I can see it.


  1. Meg -

    If you were full time, it would be easier for you to switch to male mode than it takes for your male persona now takes to turn into Meg. But it would feel extremely strange putting on male clothes. (As I found out recently, after several days of being en-femme, when I had to be en-homme for a day.) One could have unisex brows for those rare days you'd need to be in male mode, and strip off the polish for those days as well. (I'm not sure how long you'd want to grow your nails.)

    I'm surprised that it takes you 2 hours to get into Meg mode. Over here, it takes me an extra 30 minutes or so to get into Marian mode - that's the time it takes for me to do a simple makeup job. I might add another 15 minutes or so for little things such as jewelry and hosiery for when I need to be dressier than usual.

    Regarding facial hair - we're at the age where our beard is changing from black to gray. I'm almost done with laser, but I still have to shave on a daily basis. However, my other body hair costs me extra time in the shower - that's where I spend an extra 10 minutes a day shaving arms, legs, and chest.

    But in the end, you are right - you could cut your routine in half. Like me, you're at a stage where you could use a casual wardrobe, and that means wearing women's trousers (or jeans) more often when the weather and occasion calls for it. (What a bummer!) At least, in Summer, we have the option for some nice casual dresses which are perfect for this warm weather we have in the Northeast....


  2. In the past, when the thought has crossed my mind that I should consider transitioning, I went "full time" for an extended period. Once, I attended Southern Comfort, then a trade show for the business I was involved in, which together was about 10 days, with no male attire. Another time, it was 2 weeks, and I've also taken a couple week-or-so vacations that way. In each case, by the end of the vacay, I was ready to be a guy again for awhile. That's a good test.

  3. I am not (yet) fulltime, but it only takes me an extra few minutes to get ready as Paula, given that I only ever go out clean shaven, and that I keep my body, leg and arm hair in check all the time, the extra is simple a question for putting on the slap and a little extra time on hair. Though there is of course the extra half an hour on deciding what to wear

  4. Like an earlier commenter, after a few days, I felt like operating as a guy again for a while. Not that it lasted for a long time, but it was noticeable.

    It convinced me that I wouldn't be completely comfortable in either role all of the time.




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