Friday, June 27, 2014

Me? At a Bar?

Last Friday, I was out at a piano bar in Maryland.  My friends Star and Andrea invited Charity and me, and six other friends for an evening out.  There were eight girls, two guys total; the women ranged from "cis" to "transitioned" and to be honest, I'd have trouble figuring out who was where.

In preparation, I made a trip to Burlington where I scored the dress I had on for $15.  I love the wedges I was wearing but last year they got soaked (I don't know if I ever told that game night story) and the inside back of the right shoe is kind of damaged.  They look good though, and it wasn't uncomfortable ~ in fact, I'd say these are the most comfortable shoes I own.

I thought we had plenty of preparation time, but it somehow vanished and I had to skip fingernail polish and taking pictures with a "real" camera.  The bar was dark and it was hard to get good shots of the group, but I did my best.  I'll post a couple here.

A few notes from the evening....
  • ♥ The guy at the door didn't flinch when I showed my (male) ID so I could enter.
  • ♥ A first: the girl (she probably wasn't old enough to drink what she was serving) who came over to take our orders said "what can I get you, honey?"  (I had a rum drink.)
  • No-one gave us a second look.
  • ♥ I went up to the bar a couple of times ~ the Yankees were playing Baltimore and I couldn't make out the score from my table.  When the bartender came over I said "I can't see the screen from my seat" and they went about their business.  The Yankees won with a home run in the bottom of the ninth.  W00T!
  • ♥ We were there from about 7 until after midnight.  I definitely reached my limit and headed for the ladies' room.  There was a long row of stalls, all with doors closed.  One woman was milling about.  When a door opened I looked towards her and asked if she was waiting.  She said "no" and I entered.  These were ideal stalls for me: the walls between stalls went to the ceiling and about a foot from the floor.  It was nice and private.  While I was finishing up, I could hear a gaggle of girls talking outside the stalls so I took my time and the outer area was pretty deserted when I emerged.  I wanted to touch up my lipstick, but there was a lot of traffic so I skipped that pleasure.
  • ♥ Near the end of the evening, a 20-something girl at the next table touched my arm to ask me if I was drinking.  I said "no, I'm driving."  She looked exasperated and said "is _anyone_ drinking?"  They offer these towers of beer.  Hers was half-full and her and her date were leaving; she was looking for someone who would use the rest.  It was a nice, random encounter.
  • ♥ A guy who was wandering around the bar (I saw him several times) asked Linda to dance with him.  She did.  When she sat down, between songs, he asked me if I would dance with him.  I smiled and said "no thank you," for a couple of reasons: I can barely dance, I didn't know what type of song the next one would be, I wasn't ready for that.  Maybe next time I'll just move to the music, live with it if it's a slow song (or give up if it's an involved dance), and stop making "no" my default position.  Besides, it was impossible to hear in that place ~ maybe he wasn't even asking me to dance.  Yeah, that's it.
  • ♥ At one point, I told the waitress I loved her earrings. If I was in drab, she probably would have said "thank you!" Instead, she told me where she got them, and "I just bought them last week and this is the first time I've had a chance to wear them" and more. It was actually a bit surreal, but something I should get used to.


  1. Meg,
    It seems like you had a great night hanging out at a bar. I am glad you had a good time. Were they checking your ID to see if you were old enough to go into a place that served adult beverages?

    On the occasions that I do get out I mostly go to one of the few LGBT friendly bars/lounges that I can get to in under an hour drive. I find the places to be fun and safe.
    I a

    Last night I headed over to Triangles. Thee was a larger than expected crowd for a Thursday so I did not find a stool at the bar and had to stand. My practice is to always travel with two pair of shoes. I drove over in soft suede 3" comfort heels but changed to my stiletto pumps before I went in. After my first beer I went out to the car to change into the more comfortable shoes.

    Two guys actually tried to chat me up. One guy got right to the point and as soon as I said that I was not interested in an encounter he moved away. Another guy had a hard time grasping my answers to his questions. No I am not gay...yes I am happily married...yes my wife knows I like to dress as a I am not interested in trying things out with a guy...and then a few repeat questions as he tried to process the concept of a guy in a dress at an LGBT bar who was simply there to have a few beers and a night out while dressed in a mauve short sleeve dress, hose and heels.

    There was one other T person there who goes there often enough to put herself to work as the 'free' assistant bartender and bar back. We chatted. I mentioned that I liked her dress ( an above the knee black, brown and white sleeveless print). She told me that she bought it from Venus and that she likes the Venus line. She mentioned that she almost always buys women's clothes rather than patronizing those outfits that design women's clothes for men. She said that the women's clothes designed for men did not fit her any better and were not worth the extra cost. i then commented that I liked her makeup and we discussed that subject a bit between the noise and distractions.

    It was a warm night and I had the convertible so I drove home with the top down and my synthetic hair flying about my face. I found that oddly enjoyable.


  2. Meg -

    In your last comment, you peg the difference between men and women communicating - a woman might shift to male mode just to keep a man from getting bored with her answer, while in female mode, she will communicate naturally - to build rapport and bond.

    In your case, did you interrupt her with statements like - I shopped at that store, and didn't find anything as good as you found - statements which would allow her to interrupt and take the chat into a new direction?


  3. Good looks and a Yankees fan !! Luv it. - Julie


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