Monday, January 14, 2013

Playing Gay-mes

OK, I'm behind.

Before going out
I went to the GLBT gamers meetup over a week ago.  When I arrived, the organiser was there and he directed me to a table where a game was just starting and they had room for a third player.  The guy at the table was teaching the game to a woman at the table and I introduced myself, sat down, and we started playing something called "Global Thermonuclear War."

No, not really, but I bet most of you know where that one came from.  We played a game called "Manhattan Project" which was interesting but I made a tactical error and chose to keep the teacher off-balance while the other player succeeded in her goal. 

While I was playing a couple of adults and some kids sat down at the next table, playing Risk.  A third table was formed by three guys playing "Ticket to Ride," which had something to do with Beatles trivia. 

Showing Charity's artwork (eyes)
Again, no, not really.  It had something to do with building railroads and it looked a lot simpler than building atomic bombs (which is what we were trying to do).  I would have stayed for another game of something but I had to change and get my son later that afternoon.

What was missing was any attention or comments because I was dressed.  Not even a look from the kids.  Not even a comment on how cute my outfit was.  Ah well.

I wanted to get pictures of Meg playing, but I wanted to respect the privacy of the other players.  I don't know if they all fit under the GLBT umbrella, or if some came because, well, it's hard to find people who want to play Manhattan Project.  But anyone in that room might have been uncomfortable with being associated with a GLBT group, to outsiders who might stumble upon my blog.
The big picture

As t-girls, I think most of us can be confident that if our photograph was published it might be identified as a guy, it most likely wouldn't be recognised.  But the men and women there are not "in disguise," as I was.

Next time, I'll ask.  But that's for next time.

The fact that they joined a specifically GLBT group instead of a generic gaming group implied that part of the goal was to play, part was to be with community members.  And, of course, the gender community is different from the orientation community, but I wasn't treated as an intruder.  I was treated as a gamer.

But this time, Meg was out with a group she has never been out with before ~ always hard for me, whether male or Meg.  I interacted freely, which is something I'm still becoming comfortable with.  There was zero discussion (at least while I was there) of anything but games, which was cool.

Every outing, every interaction boosts confidence.  Right now, I'm not sure what I'm looking for, as Meg.  I can't be sure if I'm looking for new experiences, or to do Things I'd Enjoy as Meg.  There could be a problem here: there is a limit to the number of new experiences I can have.  If I decide gaming is something I'd like to do regularly, I can go again and again ~ every time out is different anyway.

Style note: Charity picked up the sweater and skirt for me.  She wanted to check out a new Goodwill that opened along her work/home route.  I was looking for a winter/casual look and I think this worked pretty well ~ well enough that I considered it for my next outing but changed my mind at the last minute.  Charity also did my makeup.  For my next outing, Charity had to work late so I did my own face, which is good.  I need practice, but it's hard to pass up an offer from Charity to work her magic.  She didn't attend this meetup though.

See?  I really did go out!
The outdoor picture was taken by me, with my camera sitting on my car, after the meet.

Last weekend, I met with a "civilian" game group and a trans group, both meeting people for the first time. 

My relative nervous levels:
Civilians: high.   People I don't know, and I don't know how they'll react to someone they're really not expecting.  But I had an ally there.

GLBT: medium-high.  People I don't know, going solo, people who might have an agenda I do not share.

Trans: medium.  People I don't know, and may have formed cliques that I won't be able to break in to.  (Not their fault; I've mentioned that I'm a classic introvert before).

Stories to come.


  1. If you're an introvert, it sure doesn't show! And you looked great!

  2. Meg,

    1. Do you still need a 23K phone modem and a Commodore 64 to play Global Thermonuclear War?

    2. I'm a classic introvert, too, but less introverted when I'm out as Linda.

    3. If I had been there, I would definitely have told you how much I liked your cute outfit.


  3. Meg,
    Charity did a great job on your makeup. It looks well applied and 'female' appropriate. I also really like the 'winter look' with the cowl neck top, long skirt and boots. That is truly a go anywhere, anytime classic look. Very passable/blendable.

    I suspect that the GLBT gaming was just what it was supposed to be 'GLBT gaming'. You come and play the game. As long as you do not cheat and you have an adequate skill level that compares to the others there is no reason you would not be accepted whether you were in a dress, or jeans and tee shirt.

    While you may not be sure what you are looking for as 'Meg', you should feel good that every outing not only boosts your confidence it paves the way for others. While your stress level may peak when with civilians or to a lesser extent with LGBT folks that stress level should be getting more managable with each outing. Plus everytime a civilian or even a non-T, LGB person interacts with one of us, it is all good.


  4. Meg -

    Like you, I'm a classic introvert. So I do my best to meet people (as individuals) when I can. It's easier for me to deal with one person than five. Once the ice is broken, things become easier very quickly....

    And you have nothing to worry about around civilians - you have an excellent presentation, and with a little more practice will feel comfortable in that presentation around civilians.

    Our professions tend to attract introverts like us. With both of us, our strengths lie in analytical skills, and not our social skills. Although I'm making the shift into a skillset which requires greater people skills, I'm faking it until I make it - the same philosophy I recommend using in regard to a feminine presentation. (And I'm following my own advice.) The more you get out in the world and play the role of "woman", the more of that "woman" you become.


  5. You looked great in these pictures - I place another vote for Charity's makeup skills - but I'm glad to see you're forcing yourself to go out to groups. I struggle with the same, but I think it's good for "us introverts" to force ourselves to step outside our comfort zones, from time to time.


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