Monday, November 5, 2012

Mix and Match

A quick poll first: I've joined a non-T meetup group as Meg, but I haven't gone to any meets yet.  In the past, I told the organiser about me, but that was because (a) it was a group that's almost all women and (b) she addressed me in her invitation as one of the "ladies."  That was the clothing swap group.

But this group will be a mix of men and women, and I just joined.  So the question is: should I tell the organiser what to expect, or just show up?

Saturday was a planned "get the apartment in shape, dammit!" day.  I've been kind of dressing the past few days (more to come on that) and I was wearing a waist cinch, bra, red knit top and black pleated skirt.  I put on mascara and lipstick.  That was it.  I certainly wasn't passable, but I wasn't quite in drab either.

NOT a guy colour!  But that's OK.
Mid-afternoon, I realised I had to take out the trash (the chute is right opposite my apartment) and I had a box full of recyclable materials.  I had to take that downstairs so the apartment would look a little less cluttered.  It's not much, but the more the apartment looks clean, the better my mood.  It was a bleak, cool day and I was working hard without seeing a lot of progress so a mood brightener was in order.

The problem is, I didn't want to change.

The red top has a red flower pinned to the collar.  I figured I could try my jacket over the top and remove the flower if it showed.  It did, so I did.

I removed my forms and skirt and pulled on a pair of girl jeans.  I was about to put on my sneakers when I decided my girl flats were passable enough.  I left on my mascara but wiped off my lipstick.  It was time for a refresh anyway and I could do that when I got back to the apartment.

They look GOOD with jeans, IMO.
So dressed, I went down to the basement so I could go out the side door near the recycle bins.  At the 6th floor, a man came in with a shopping cart full of garbage bags and we chatted until the lobby level, when he left.  I tossed the box and walked up the stairs to the main level.  I checked my mail and went to the elevator where a woman was wearing a red top and black running shorts and black shoes that looked more passable than mine ~ plain ballet flats, I would guess.  Other than asking me what floor (she got off on the same floor and went to an apartment near mine) we didn't speak.  She was engrossed in her mail and I doubt she gave me or my shoes or red top a second glance.  I was going to say something like "I didn't hear it was supposed to be black pants," but didn't.

I figured I was done for the day, as far as going out, so I took a couple of photos, put on a (different) skirt, put in my forms, touched up my lipstick and went back to work.


  1. Speaking of clothing swaps, freecycle and the like, I blame you for getting me started with freecycle. :P

  2. Meg:

    Just a quick note--Blogger's poll function is not working properly right now and has not for several weeks. You're going to find that at least once a day (perhaps more often), it is wiping out all the recorded votes and resetting to zero. It essentially just did that when I voted in your poll...there was one vote recorded already, but when I added mine, it still only listed one vote.

    This has been reported by numerous users (including me), but it's apparently not a priority to be fixed.

  3. I think that you should tell the meet up group organizer that you would like to present yourself at the meet up dressed as a woman and then ask what other women typically wear so that you are appropriately attired. This will give the organizer a chance to object and gives you clearance to present as Meg. In this day and age I think a guy in a dress is generally accepted. While you pass in all of the photos I have seen you have commented that your voice is an issue.

    As for going out partially dressed I have done this on several occasions. If I am dressed at home and need something from the supermarket or drug store I have gone out with my forms in, stockings showing below my slacks and light makeup.

    About a year ago I really had an urge to dress but then opted to take my wife to dinner. Under my slacks I had pantyhose. this is typical but I had no socks. Under my shirt I had my bra and forms and a cami. I put on some mascara and a bit of lipstick. It was dark when we left the house and I guess that my wife just presumed that I had converted back to full male attire. At dinner my wife looked more closely. First she noticed the lipstick, then the mascara, then the breasts. She then looked over the table at my feet to confirm that a bit of hose was showing. She chuckled and we went about the meal as if all was as usual. I guess that she figured that if she was with me for 20 minutes, knowing that I had been partially dressed at home before we went out and had not noticed anything out of the ordinary that no one else would either.

  4. I love Mary Janes, but I can't imagine anyone who actually looked at them would mistake them for guy shoes except possibly at night with all the lights out!

    If the organizer of the event knows and still chose to refer to you as "one of the ladies", perhaps it would be best to ask her what *her* preference is. The other side of that is, what is YOUR preference? Do you want to present as a lady and be treated as such, or do you want to fly your taffeta flag and let the world know there's more to Meg than the usual feminine curves?

    And the other other side of that (sorry, I'm making this up as I go along) is... if you present as female, you're doing two things -- lying to people you might be spending time with, and putting the burden on the organizer to keep your secret. If she accidentally spills ("But swear to me you won't tell another soul!", famous last words) or if the others begin to suspect, there could be some anger at being misled.

    So I guess that last issue pushes me to the "tell them" side of the fence I was sitting on.

  5. Hi Meg,
    Re: the poll
    I don't think I have enough information to make a vote---type of organization, reason for joining, how do you expect to participate, number of members, etc.---not that you have to share, and maybe it wouldn't help. Maybe I'm would be undecided too.


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