Jamie made a pointed comment on my blog the other day. I was writing about how I'm taking advantage of my new living arrangement, and she seemed astonished that with all that's going on in my life, all I seem to care about is "the clothes."
Jamie, my life is not all about the clothes. But this blog is about my trip towards femininity, coming out, going out, shopping, living my t-life as best I can. And yes, it's about the clothes.
As I mentioned, I'm going to limit my "real life" to one day a week at most ~ probably Thursday. I have lots of rules. I won't be airing dirty laundry. I won't be badmouthing, nor complaining about, my wife. She can't tell her side and it wouldn't be fair for me to just give mine. When I do write about the marriage, separation, future, I try (and will continue to try) to be evenhanded and factual.
And, again, the blog IS partly about the clothes. I am looking for happiness and joy (not the same thing) and I am looking forward to going to my dresser and opening a drawer and pulling out a bra, a slip, some hose. NO boxes hiding in the closet. I want to pick out a pair of shoes by looking at what I have, not digging through shoeboxes where they used to hide. I want to get a couple of "wig heads" to leave my wigs on ~ the way they're supposed to be. These are things I've never had, and that, I think, will bring me joy. They're all small things, but important to me, to my self-image, and maybe to my happiness.
And interestingly, Gwen wrote about much the same thing a couple of days ago.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
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Meg
ReplyDeleteThis was a beautiful and well reasoned post. I read Jamie's comment and thought it was a bit harsh. Among other traits that I have noted about you is acute sensitivity. We are all at different point on the spectrum. What works for one may seem inane to someone else. T people are not 'one size fits all'.
Good luck as the pages of your new life spread open.
Pat
For many of us, we "escape" into our femininity, that escape is often from our stresses in both our professional and social (including relationships) male lives. Writing a blog is often part of that, we write as our female selves and what we write reflects our female lives and concerns. On that basis f course Meg will be thinking about clothes and the like, whatever "he" may be thinking about.
ReplyDeleteMeg -
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with a trip towards femininity? So far, I like the trip I'm on - and plan to continue with it as far as it gives me pleasure.
Tonight, I went out en femme to meet up with someone, and then to a couple of stores for supplies. The thing I noticed most was that I'm quickly getting used to tall boots with heels - as if I've been walking in them forever. What amazes me is that I only bought my first pair of heels in September, and have not had the chance to use that pair. I wonder how quickly I'll get acclimated to pencil tip (stiletto?) heels.
This can be a very pleasurable journey for you and a potential future partner. (It's way too early to discuss these things - I am only trying to say that the future has an unknown number of possibilities.) So don't worry about what some people may say - we each do this for our own reasons, and we only have ourselves to answer to....