Thursday, July 28, 2011

Gender Orientation and You ~ Part Two

Please take this week's poll.  Check more than one answer, as your heart tells you.  Response has been light and time is running out.  Read the overly long introduction which will help you understand the choices.  I'm leaving the poll open for a couple of more days.

Twenty eight people responded to the poll with a preference that changes based on their gender appearance.  So we now have two universes: this smaller group and the 100 people who took the poll.

Fourteen percent of the total sample, which is half of the people in this section, responded:

          If I'm a boy, I'm with a girl; if I'm a girl, I'm with a boy

Despite the 23 categories of sexual orientation in the article Sonora Sage pointed me at a few days ago, this isn't there.

We're in the realm of what I call gender orientation now.  I know other people have used "gender orientation" in other senses.  But, like Humpty Dumpty, "When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."

I'm calling the above "gender straight."  I was having a hard time with the rationale, because I saw two possibilities.  The first was more obvious.

It's external: the respondant wants to be seen as straight.  So when he's a he, he would get involved with a woman.  When she's a she, she'd get involved with a man.

But none of this is really external.  None of us are doing any of this for appearances.  And remember, this is a "second base" situation.  It's not just sitting on a park bench or strolling through a museum or having dinner.  If your grabbing and deep kissing, there has to be some internal reason, some degree of turn-on.  OK, a large degree.

So I think it might start as an ostensibly "external" event.  The respondent (like me) might think, "I'd like to experience a date."  Perhaps they're like Z, and it just... happened.  Or like Linda, and it just... didn't happen (but she thought about it).  Linda left a comment on the post linked to above, the one that started my second poll.

The fact that it's really not external is why I said I would answer "girls only."  I could maybe see myself on a date with a man (poll #2) but deep kissing and grabbing?  No.  And third base?  Maybe at gunpoint.

Or maybe not.  I did mention that I say "no" too often.

Also in the "gender straight" category:

          If I'm a boy, I'm with a trans; if I'm a girl, I'm with a boy

(two responses) Which is gender straight with a gay orientation.  This seems more "external" ~ the respondent wants to appear straight, yet be true to herself.  Again, I am guessing.  Without an interview (or at least e-mails from someone saying "I ticked that.  You're wrong") I can't be sure.

Six more readers ticked:

          If I'm a boy, I'm with a girl; if I'm a girl, I'm with a trans

This confuses me, unless they are going out with transmen when they're dressed.  Then it's clearly gender straight.  I'd love to hear from someone who made this choice!

These two choices cover 20% of the total, or about 70% of the "breakout" groups.

While I'm on the subject, there's also "gender gay."  A gender gay person would tick:

          If I'm a boy, I'm with a boy; if I'm a girl, I'm with a girl
          If I'm a boy, I'm with a boy; if I'm a girl, I'm with a trans

Exactly one person checked the second option; no-one checked the first.  I think this makes sense; the second option is the inverse of the "gender straight" one: externally, you always appear gay while internally you're true to your gayness.

I'll wrap this up tomorrow, unless I get comments that make me rethink what I wrote here.  My thinking is flexible, even if I'm not particularly flexible in partner choice.

1 comment:

My day is brighter when I hear from my friends!