Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Poll Vault

I had a follow-up poll planned for this week.  I actually had two polls, aimed at different audience members.

Then I received a note from a reader I shall call Z (not her real initial). She was trying to answer my poll and she wrote a long note, which I edited:
[U]ntil about a month ago I would have said always a girl, now I'm not sure, I had an incident that surprised and confused me, I was dressed, I think nicely but in no way provocatively [she included a picture and looked quite nice].... [I] stopped for a cup of tea at a refreshments stand in a well know public park.   I'm not shy of being seen anymore.

I was surprised when I was approached by a man a bit younger than me, at first I didn't know how to react, but was friendly and pleased for the company and friendly contact.   However as things progressed I soon realised that I was being chatted up - and more surprised to find I rather liked it.   I surprised myself by allowing things to progress, to some -erm - quite intimate physical contact.   Until now I would have expected to be repelled by even the idea of kissing another man, but I found that I was very turned on - indeed I suspect that if time and circumstances had allowed I would have gone a lot further possibly "all the way".   Since then I have had very mixed emotions I am happy with my wife and my marriage and have no intention of risking it, I had always thought that if I would have been tempted it would have been with a woman, I am content that I can deal with that temptation, but this new one is different.   If I had been asked your poll question a month before I would have said it is always a woman, now I think I would say when I'm a boy I'm with a Girl, when I'm a Girl I'm not sure.

I have a suspicion that [my femme self] is still very young, nearly every experience is a fresh one and she simply hasn't learnt yet how to deal with a lot of these new experiences, unfortunately Mother didn't teach Paula how to do her make up, resist men who are chatting her up, and when to leave a situation.

All very confusing....
Z, I never had an experience like yours, but I have had admirers write to me after seeing my profile on urna, and they've tried hard to get me to go on a "date."  It was a few years ago, probably while I was still going out with company only, still to insecure to do my own makeup and such.

I said no, politely at first and more firmly as they got more insistent.  And they all got more insistent.  At the time, my reason was that the idea of going out with a man just didn't interest me.

Afterwards, I started to think that having a "play date" would be a girl experience I should try.

Firsts are hard, especially when they're unexpected.  And I have a tendency to push back at new experiences.  I say "no" way too often.

The first time I was out and my mentor (makeup lady) held a skirt up to me to see how it fit, I thought I'd pass out from embarrassment.  Fortunately, before I hit the floor I realised that, yeah, this is OK.  This was before I'd ever try something like that myself (in drab).  I do hold clothes up to help judge the fit/look now even when in drab ~ sometimes.

The first time I met with a couple of other t-ladies, as I was leaving one came up to hug me.  I hesitated, then thought, "when in Rome, do as the Romans do" and gave her a warm boob-to-boob hug and cheek-to-cheek "air kisses."  (Later, I thought "when in drag, do as the dragons do" :) .)

One of my first makeup ladies told me to use a brush for lipstick.  I drew back and said "why?"  It seemed like too much work, to me.  She said "because it's much more feminine" and you know ~ she was right.  I often take those extra few seconds to brush on lipstick.

My former boss asked if I had any suits.  I told her I did not, and I saw no need for one.  She said "you should try one.  They're sexy."  I thought suits were too expensive and wearing one would put me too far out of the norm when I went out.  Eventually I did buy one.  Now I own a half-dozen or more.

I think I'd like to try a "play date."  I don't know what I'd do if he tried to end it with a kiss.  I really don't.

Please take this week's poll.  Take a few minutes to think about it.  Imagine the situations and how you might feel!  You can come back and change your answers if tomorrow you think, "you know, I can imagine...."

I'm going to use this little siding to give me more time to think about the results of the first poll.  I don't think it's appropriate for gay t-girls, but perhaps you can show me why I'm wrong.  Comments and e-mail are welcome.


  1. Intriguing post, Meg.

    I'm one of those who answered "I'm always with a girl" in your poll. However, I can understand how someone like Z, who would have answered the same way, could be swept up in the moment. Would I have responded the same way? I don't think so, but am I really sure?

    I've been "chatted up" briefly a few times. It was very flattering and kind of fun to flirt a little. However, I was clear about my preferences so nothing happened. If the gentlemen who approached me had been a bit more subtle, patient and charming, would it have made a difference? I don't think so, but do I know for sure?

    I love the idea of a "play date" (love the term, too).

    I'm tempted to ramble on here but I'll stop for now. I'm very interested to find out how others respond.

  2. I've been in "Z's" position a few times while out. It was always exciting and daring. In a couple of times I am resonabley sure the man did not know who I was, but he had fun.
    I do enjoy dancing backwards and being treated like a lady as well as kissing a man and feeling him being turned on.
    So Meg, go ahead, if I can you can. Lisa


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