D is the anti-me.
| Me | D |
| Introvert | Extrovert |
| Male | Female |
| Progressive | Conservative |
| Not allowed to wear makeup but does | Allowed to wear makeup but doesn't |
I said to her "I was there in costume." She said "what was your costume?" I said "I went as the scariest person I could think of" and she said "Christine O'Donnell." Even conservatives think she's scary!
I told her I have pictures, and she gave me her card so we can plan to catch up and I can show her what I have.
We finally caught up again a week later. I showed her the business cards I made to hand out and the pictures. She was effusive, but to be fair, she's always effusive. She said she couldn't believe it was me, and "you make a gorgeous woman". I told her that I made her all by myself. She asked who did my makeup; I told her I did. She said the brown hair and bangs really showed off my blue eyes. She also assumed "your wife didn't want anything to do with you." I told her she was there, but not in the pictures.
I sent her a soft copy of one of the pictures. No response, and I haven't seen her since.
I think that's enough showing the pictures around the office. I don't remember who had good or bad reactions to my visit last year, so I'm not going to hunt people out. Plus, people in this industry lean more to the right than average Americans. Not surprisingly, no-one's come by and said "I heard about the pictures. Can I see?"
Exactly a week after I bought my makeup, and had my nails and eyebrows done, I dropped by the mall, hoping to visit three women who helped me: my makeup consultant at Sephora, the woman (V) who waxed my brows, hands, and did my manicure, and the woman at Ann Taylor who picked out the t-shirt for me. My first stop was Sephora, where they said they never heard of the woman who helped me just one week earlier. Cue the twilight zone music.
I did see V, who was doing a manicure for a twenty-something client. She said she was disappointed that I didn't come by after the rally. I showed her the pictures and she kept saying loudly "you are SO pretty!" For some reason, before looking at the pictures, she got up and moved a few feet from her station. I definitely got a mixed message here. She moved away from the client and another employee as if she didn't want to show them the pictures, but kept LOUDLY saying the same thing over and over. If we were closer, I would have turned the pictures towards the client so she could see. If the other manicurist had come over, I would have shown her the pictures too. I'm more than happy to get other opinions, and although "you are SO pretty" is fantastic to hear, criticism is welcome too. Even hostility is OK ~ maybe I've been lucky and not had any overt bad reactions. Maybe bad reactions are rare. But it can't hurt to experience it and be ready for it next time.
I often leave my encounters with regrets over things I didn't do, but that's another post (and it'll be on T-Central, instead of here).
Ann Taylor was a long shot. I've explained how I am with faces, but I was hoping the woman who helped pick out the clothes would remember me. There were two young ladies there, and the woman who helped was maybe 40. I couldn't really ask if she was around ~ I couldn't describe her at all, and didn't have her name.
Two strikes, and I'm out.
And unless someone points out something I missed, I'm through with the rally.
Maybe next year Meg will go to the American Progress conference.
One of the pleasures of reading what you write is that you say things that can be viewed on multiple levels. BTW that is a very common female trait and is somewhat rare among men. It is almost necessary to reread your posts to ferret out what is 'between the lines'.
ReplyDeleteYour conservative friend 'D' seems very sharp and typically openminded (perhaps libertarian may be a more comfortable tag). She also seems to listen well and respond on point. You asked who was the scariest person that you (Meg) could think of. She put herself in your pumps in quipping O'Donnell. I am not sure that it would follow that the conservative 'D' agreed with your position that Christine was scary. Perhaps 'D' may have thought that Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Obama or Hilary Clinton were scarrier.
I am very pleased with the great progress that you have had in dealing with female civilians. Again, reading between Meg's lines, part of the story is your slow emergence and glancing relevation of your 'Megness' to the civilians in your life (mostly GGs but a few males). Your innuendos and inferences (again a very female trait) have been met with typpical female responses that while simple sounding can have myriad meanings.
A typical male may see things in black and white....what was the score of the game...what time is the meeting...etc.
Women see things on many levels and their speech may often reflect the various thoughts in their minds. A man may see a photo of Meg and come to a one word evaluation. No so with women. The GGs who asked if you did your own makeup fed you a loaded question. The real question, if you think about it, may have been "Please confirm that you spend a lot of your spare time selecting and wearing women's clothes and working on your makeup techniques."
Wheter you realized it or not the answers that you gave to those 'inquirying minds' gave them all the information that they needed to confirm that neither the Halloween appearance nor the rally were casual undertakings. Congratulations of the very successful method you employed to out yourself. LOL.
To finally get to the point of this comment your emergence is a wonderful thing for all of us. The general acceptance that you have found with GG civilians makes several points. First, it shows that in general most GGs are neither offended nor annoyed by a smartly dressed and appropriately styled man in a dress. It is important that you had presented as a normal, run of the mill woman. It is reasonable for most women to dislike the most common 'man in a dress' manisfestations that they see...drag queens whose style often mocks or belittles how most women see themselves... men playing dressup for comedy or gags... or men dressing as a result of a mental disorder (Psycho).
Second, the presentation of a well dressed and properly made up Meg tends to honor the women that we admire rather than ridicule them.
Third, none of the women were going home with you. You were safe, non-threatening, almost one of the girls. That is a good thing.
Keep up the good work.
Pat
PS: Several of the women asked about your wife. That is another example of multi faceted questions seeking all kinds of inferential information.