Friday, September 13, 2013

Uncomfortable Sometimes

There was a game day at Star's a couple of weeks ago.  One of the core group was moving away and we're kind of the new kids on the block, although I don't think I'll ever replace C in the game arena ~ she has a very deliberate and analytic mind and I can't keep track of what everyone is doing in the strategy games we play to ever do that well.

There would be kids (who have met Meg) but there was also the potential presence of aged ancestors.  Star didn't mind, but my goal is to not make people uncomfortable.  I asked if she'd prefer I went in drab and was glad I did ~ she didn't want to ask, but gratefully took me up on my offer.  When I came in, I felt out of place, dressed as I was, but once the games began I got over that. 

I had met all of the players before, but only spent much time with C and our hosts while in drab.  Each did a classic double take when they first met the "real me," which was funny and fun.  Meg had spent time with the players, and they were mostly at the "other table" when we had lunch together (me in drab) and we really didn't interact.

When I was introduced at the games, one woman said "Star says we met once, but I don't remember, but she says so so 'hi!  Nice to see you again.'"  I don't think she made the Meg/me connection.  The other friends knew Meg (one was the guy who commented on my my "not casual enough" outfit) and in passing as non-Meg.  I don't think any made the connection.  I didn't push the issue or say "don't you remember me?  I was wearing that long dress last time we met."

The gaming group are t-friendly people.  I only know them from the games, and with Star as the hub.  I don't expect to interact with them outside of this group, but one never knows.  They have met Meg and Charity, and me and Charity, and said nothing/asked no questions about it.  I will say again they're a t-familiar and t-friendly group so I don't think any comment would be any different than "didn't you have a beard the last time we met?"

And, as I wrote yesterday, I'm not sure how I'll react or what my response will be if we're on the street and someone makes the "Charity in the middle" (or Star in the middle) connection.

I hope I respond honestly.

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