Friday, June 29, 2012


I stopped at my "real" home to make dinner for my son and pick up a couple of things I needed ~ part of the "bills you have to pay for living yesterday."

I also picked up a big box of shoes.  My toe is deemed "cured."  I hope to make an appointment for next week to get my back waxed, brows waxed, a manicure, and, of course, a pedicure.  And I picked up the last box with clothing in it.  It is full of the rest of my skirts and the rest of my camis.  I still have dozens of dresses at the house.  I'm not sure if there's some meaning behind that.

I also saw my EAP therapist.  We talked relationship; I brought up dressing.  I explained the care-don't care continuum.  I told her a possible outcome would be I lose Meg and we all live happily ever after.  She seemed surprised that I would even consider that.  So I explained "purging" and how it's pretty common among crossdressers.  Except this would be more than just a purge.  And there's a problem: I certainly wouldn't be the first t-girl who said "I can live without her" and was wrong.  In fact, there's an incredibly slim possibility that I would be the first t-girl who said "I can live without her" and was right.

The therapist had an excellent idea: we (the wife and I) should sit down together and decide what we both want and how to get there.

Except I need to find myself first, I think.

Yes, I definitely need to do that.

I think.


  1. Seems unlikely to me that you and Meg are really ever going to be separate. You may purge the physical, but.... I think you get it.

    Good luck being really honest while on that search for 'yourself' my friend.

    Oh, those bills from living yesterday!

  2. The hard part is knowing what you want, as opposed to what you think you want, and ff course there are those things that you may not want which you get anyway. Sometimes I wonder if life plans are just a way of courting disappointment.


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