Monday, February 13, 2012

My Dinner With Andre(a). And More

There's not much to say, other than it's nice to spend time with someone who knows about Meg.

Afterwards, I spent a lot of time thinking about how nice it was to spend time and have a nice dinner together, and how sad it was that there is only a small circle of friends I can do this with.

I think I need to expand that circle, but I'm also keenly aware of the problem Pandora had.  I don't consider crossdressing an evil let out on the world, but I do know it won't go back in the box once released.

I think I've reached the point where, if it ever came up, I would 'fess up.  For instance, on Friday I left the house without taking a critical look at how I looked.  Later, in front of the restroom mirror at work I did.  I was wearing a camisole under a polo shirt and although you couldn't see the green-blue lace trim on the front of the turquoise cami, you could easily see the thin straps and adjusters from the back.  It was early in the day and I thought of taking it off, but I went through a couple of quick scenarios instead: they started with a variation of "what are you wearing under your shirt?" and the best response would be "a camisole.  I usually wear one under my shirt."  Any follow-up questions could be answered honestly and move the conversation forward to a possibly uncomfortable but definitely open conclusion.  ("Why?"  "Because I like the feel.")

Any near-open response could lead to follow-up questions that are not only confrontational instead of conversational, but would make it seem I was hiding something.  My "something to keep me warm" could provoke a "what, exactly?" or "I've never seen an undershirt with straps like that."  It's hard to follow up without challenging back or seeming embarrassed at being "caught."  I'm not interested in challenge; I'm interested in enlightenment.  And I'm through hiding.

I'm just through.

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