Endgame

Broadly speaking, there are four endpoints for transpeople:

• ♥ Occasional crossdressing
• ♥ Full-Time crossdressing
• ♥ Full Gender reassignment
• ♥ Gender fluid

I know the last category sounds like "something else" but it's not really.  It is an endpoint.

The old joke

    "What's the difference between a transvestite and a transsexual?" "Five years."

can make some in or near the community say "that's funny because it's true" but I don't think it is.  I think there are some (many?) transgendered people who are having problems coming to grips with the fact that their happiness depends on aligning their external appearance with what they're wearing under their clothing.

I truly do not believe that there are men who say "I love the way I look as a woman, but now it's time to go further and go the GRS route."  I do believe there are men who say "I love the way I look as a woman.  It feels right and the male body is... wrong," and GRS is the next step.

To rephrase, I think there are two distinct classes of transgenderism: ones who say "it's important to my happiness to present as a woman" and "it's important to my happiness to be a woman."

The fourth category, above, is "it's important to my happiness to be who I want to be.  And that is subject to change from day to day."

I do see people moving from category to category.  I feel like I should draw a state diagram here, but the causes of the state changes are many.  For example:

• ♥ Occasional to full-time: I really don't like presenting as a male.  I'm more comfortable as a woman, I'd like to get a job as a woman and live as such day-to-day. 
• ♥ Full-time to reassignment: I feel like this is a lie to myself, and that has to end.
• ♥ Occasional to fluid: I want to make this more a part of my life.  I don't see why I can't wear a skirt to shop if I find it more comfortable, or wear a nice blouse instead of a shirt-and-tie to work, or patent Mary Janes if they're comfortable.
• ♥ Full time to occasional: I love presenting as a woman but it's taking too much of my daily life.  Maybe I should make it a weekend thing.  Or a work-only thing.
• ♥ Full time to fluid: I kind of miss some of the male casual.  As a woman, I can wear them but once I skip my makeup the "ma'am" becomes less reliable.  But that's OK.
• ♥ Post-surgery to any of the other categories: I enjoy the freedom of presentation I now have as a woman and I don't see why I can't take advantage of that as I see fit.

I'm kind of expecting arguments in the comments and/or e-mail.  I welcome any feedback, and I'll have more to say about this Thursday.

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Simple Pleasure ~ Simple Confusion

Yesterday, I wrote about how Facebook is allowing new gender choices.  The Washington Post had an article giving one definition of each of the Facebook terms.  I don't think there's agreement on these; it's more like Humpty Dumpty in Through the Looking Glass:

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master - - that's all.

In any event, you can see the full list of terms here and some idea of their meaning.  My problem is, you use a label for yourself and if your audience doesn't understand that label it's meaningless.  Bernie Sanders says he's a socialist, and that gives his voters certain expectations.  But the average citizen (not you guys ~ you're all way above average Lake Wobegon citizens) thinks President Obama is a socialist ~ if one said "based on what I know, I expect you to..." they'd be very wrong, either in their understanding of socialism or Obama.

So is "transwoman" or "transman" a ciswoman who transitioned to male?  What is "trans*?"  How do I address a gender fluid individual, especially an androgynous gender fluid person?  Does that even make sense?  How about "gender sloshing" instead of fluid?

Anyway, read the article "Confused by Facebook’s new gender options? Here’s what they mean", and hand out copies to your friends when they say "you're a what?"

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Simple Pleasure ~ Technology Update

Once upon a time, we were called transvestites (TVs).  Then both our vocabulary and technology evolved and we became crossdressers (CDs).

Now, people are steering away from TVs; my son doesn't even have one at his apartment.  And no-one uses CDs anymore.

It's time to update our label.  I propose Dynamically Variable Dressers (DVDs).

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Opportunity Lost

First, please go back to Friday's post and then take the poll to the right.  Today is the last day of the poll.

Today is also my last day at my current job.

I was filling out required forms for my next job.  The first form (there are over a dozen) was Personal Information.  The first item was Prefix.  It's not mandatory and showing in the pull down list was Select....

I pulled down the list to see:
Dr
Miss
Mr
Mrs
Ms

I thought about it way too long and eventually left it unfilled.  Seriously, it's just a way I like to be addressed.  It's not legally binding or part of my name or anything.  If a married woman can choose Ms or Mrs, and a PhD can choose Dr or another title, why can't I choose Miss?  I mean, other than the obvious fact that I'm married.  For the record, United Airlines lists me as Dr.  Just because I felt like checking that box.  The local public radio station mail comes to Ms {my male name}.

Further down the list was the EEO form, which wants to know my gender (male or female) and ethnicity.  I left that blank as well, although given the choice, I would identify with the female gender.  If I had freedom to dress as I choose, I would not go 24/7 but I'd either be part male/part female or all female.  Even now, some days I'm in all female clothing, although appearing male.

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