Tuesday, April 21, 2015

First Time

Almost 23 years ago, I "met" Margaret on-line on something called Usenet.  She was looking for a list of "women's rules for men."  I can't recall if I had it or if I knew how to find it (it's similar to this) ~ it's really the same thing, isn't it?  But I sent it to her, off list... back in the day people actually included e-mail addresses; spam and address scraping were unknown.  My full address from the 1990s can still be found on the googles, if you know where to look.

I never specified my gender and my first name is ambiguous enough that people could assume I was male or female depending on their bias.  I tried to gear my writing more towards being mistaken for female, but who knows how it was perceived?

We chatted a bit.  Margaret was (is) an intelligent, creative woman and I enjoyed our conversations.  I don't know what inspired me to tell her about my girl side, but I did, fairly early on.  Perhaps she made the this-is-a-girl assumption and I corrected her with a "but I have my girl side."  I somehow knew it was safe to tell her ~ safe from the point-of-view of keeping our friendship.

For the record, I knew her for YEARS by her very unique middle name before I ever found out her actual first name was Margaret, and I was Meg before I learned her name.  The connection is coincidental, but if I knew I'd probably say "I chose Meg because of my friend from out west."  It needs less explanation than the real reason I chose Meg.

She was very understanding and accepting.  I was very surprised, and pleased.  I didn't know ANYONE would EVER show her level of understanding.

Then she surprised me further and sent me a "care package."  She knew it was beyond my current comfort zone to actually go out and buy girl stuff so she sent me a box containing some makeup items (some samples, some things she bought) and a bra which I still have.

We met once just a few years ago when she came east for business.  I was in drab and in awe of her.  She is a wonderful lady.

I don't know how Meg would have progressed without her, and although I'm sure I said thank you, I never said thank you for throwing that switch the moved Meg from a siding to the main line.


  1. Meg,

    "It needs less explanation than the real reason I chose Meg."

    Okay, inquiring minds want to know. ;)

    What's the real reason?



    1. Christine take a peek here:


  2. Meg -

    If you never said thank you and are able to contact her - thank her now. Send her a picture of you getting married, as I think she'd be happy, knowing how far on this road you've traveled.


  3. Meg -

    If you still know how to contact this lady, make sure you take the time to thank her now.... Send her a copy of a picture from the day you got married, as I think that will make her smile....


    1. We keep in touch. Sometimes it's just a "ping" so we know we're still around. She reads my blog; sometimes she posts stories about her life. She writes better than I do, no doubt.


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