Friday, May 17, 2013

And you May Ask Yourself / Where Does That Highway Go To?

I just renewed my lease for a year.  Charity is still here.  We split the rent and household expenses.  Charity makes dinner most nights, and I'm having a wider variety of food than I have ever had in my life.

Charity helps Meg.  A lot.  Makeup, advise, company....

I'm not sure what I contribute other than the location and utilities.  IT support?  I'm sure there's something that I do.

And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may say to yourself yourself
My God!...What have I done?!

I cannot see the future.  If I could, I probably would have seen what was coming early enough to have done something about it, or at least tried to do something about it.

I can see the past.  I believe that every event, every turn get me where I am today.  Even if where I am was never my goal, I got here.  We got here.  All of us are here because our ancestors and our precursors survived billions of years of evolution.  At times when (man-made or natural) plagues struck, someone survived so we could be here today.  I'm here so I can write these words, you're here so I'm not alone.

That says nothing about the future.

When I take my Memorial Weekend road trip and meet up with some of you, as inconsequential as that is, it's the latest step in billions of years of history.

I like the future.  I'm in it.

My Favourite Dress!


  1. As you are getting a bit more philosophical lately and I’d like to respond in that way and say first of all you are inspirational to me because you have a way of looking at life from different angle. Most of the time there is humor in it too and to me that is one way of surviving. To be able to have some kind of distance to overlook one’s situation and have a good laugh from time to time is really liberating. But seriously, you hit some nails when revering to your marriage and related matters. At our age it’s not that easy to start all over again while having obligations to care for spouse and children. I’m very reluctant to give up family life when it comes to make a choice between livings as male or female. “You can’t have it all”, I know, but there is sadness in the fact that we repeat those words one after one instead of trying to make it happen: living out as trans and having a family, job, social life and all that everyone else seems to have. It’s about energy, economics and other foolish things. Allas.

  2. Meg -

    Strangely enough, I see a lot of growth in your posts. You are talking openly about yourself, sharing with the rest of us. It's a sign of confidence in the future, not having to worry about what people will think of you. It's a sign of freedom too, knowing that others will not cause you trouble for being who you are.

    I expect, that no matter what happens with your marriage, that Meg will be out and about a lot more often. And don't be surprised if Meg is out to the immediate family as well - look at Kim and Mandy's blogs over time. Even with efforts to keep things hidden, the femme persona comes out. Don't worry about it right now. Just worry about being true to yourself and to others, and everything else will fall into place....

    Looking forward to seeing you again....



My day is brighter when I hear from my friends!