I Am Looking Forward to Today

In the couple of weeks I've been in the apartment, I've had good days, I've had bad days, I've had good days with bad parts.  I haven't had a bad day with good parts.

I've done a lot of thinking, I've done some reviewing of notes I've written over the past nine or so months, when I started looking at my life and seeing what was wrong.

I've done some crying, which is something I do so rarely that it was one of my wife's complaints ~ she said "I've never seen you cry."  I thought that was a bizarre complaint, but many of her criticisms were, I thought, bizarre.  That's all I'll say on that.

I've also done a lot of physical work.  I really did move suddenly.  I think I kept the idea in the back of my mind that I'd never take this step, and, to that end, I never took the smart intermediate steps of culling my junk.  I'm a bit of a packrat.  OK, I'm a lot of a packrat.  I'm not going to appear on hoarders ~ I've had clients who Need Professional Help: either an organiser or an arsonist.  Seriously.  That's not me, but I have a hard time throwing things away.  I'm going to re-read that book, I swear, or maybe the kids (who's taste is 180 degrees away from mine) will.  I'm going to sort those 1000 photos.  I'm going to need the shelf of range extenders/print servers/motherboards someday.  Honest.  I need that souvenir of Oktoberfest that I haven't looked at in 20+ years and don't even have a place to put it.  Same for those magazines (and I have a special place in my heart for that one from the month I was born).

So I've been moving things and tossing things and keeping things I know I should toss.  But I'll toss them.  My original goal was to toss a pile as large as the one I kept but then I ran into things like boxes of video and audio tapes.  I want to watch some of the videos and play most of the audios before I toss them, so they'll go but not right away.  And so on.  I am affirming "I am no longer a packrat.  I do not need anything that I can't wear or eat."  And I want that to be my baseline.  It's not, but it's a goal.

But that's not what I wanted to write about today.

I am looking forward to today.  My bedroom furniture arrives. 

I have various boxes in the bedroom, small boxes labelled "socks," "panties," "bras" and so on.  After the furniture guys leave, they'll all live in their own drawers.

I feel like I've taken a real step out of the closet and into the world.

I chose the set mostly because of the price and, well, the price.  It was available in dark wood and this washed finish.  I went with the washed, just to get something different than I've had in the past.  The first comment I received when it was shown was "Wow, that's Feminine!"  (Was she right?  I really didn't notice.)  I hadn't considered that, but it's a huge plus.  And a small minus.  Civilians (including my kids) will visit.  And if they comment on the feminine look, I'll explain why I bought it: price.

Anyway, I expect to be busy and happy tonight.  Too bad my mattress won't be here for another week.

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