Two Score and Eighteen Years Ago

I was born.  It was early in the morning, and the first time I woke my parents up but not the last.

So...
When: 5 June 1954, 8:57 AM, although it might be 8:51 ~ it's hard to read.
Where: Beth Israel Hospital in Manhattan.  We lived in Brooklyn, but I wanted to be near my mother.
Why: people ask me this more than the above two questions.  I still lack an answer.

Nine years ago, I started a new job and was required to take a drug test.  It was scheduled for my birthday.  I mentioned to the lady who collected my sample that it was a special day.  She said "congratulations.  What are your plans for today?"  I said, "are we done?"  She said we were and I said "take drugs."

They do not have a sense of humour.

When I was born, they issued a birth certificate which is a negative copy of the actual one.  A number of years ago, when I was bored, I took a couple of stray letters from another section and altered it slightly so I now have a copy with sex listed as FEMALE instead of MALE.  Yes, the whole thing was hand-printed and in upper case. 

Who knows.  It may come in handy some day.

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