Monday, June 4, 2012

Coy? Moi?

So I'm sure you noticed that I didn't tell you where I had planned to go last weekend.  You'll find that I often appear evasive or vague or, yes, coy, but what I am is cautious.

I went to the VA state Democratic convention.  I may blog about the chaos that ensued, but not here.  I may ramp up my political blog but, as I mentioned, Thalia doesn't help me much there.

As you all know, I am far from completely out.  I've mentioned the difference between being out and outed.  If a reader here sees that I'm going, and is (or even knows) a delegate or official and gives them a heads-up, my chances of being outed are greater.  I prefer to come out on my terms, not other people's.

So I had a nice chat with the incoming chair of the LGBT committee, expressing my concern that, to them, T is just a letter.  I told her that I've mentioned this to other people whose group calls itself LGBT but is more LGBt.  I mentioned that if I wore one of their stickers, people would assume I'm LGB, or have a relative who is, not that I'm T.  I don't mind being supportive, but I feel I'm lying.

I also had a nice talk with my Congressman, who knows me, and my state senator, who knows me as well.  I also spoke with various random people just because we all had something in common and I am making a conscious effort to be more sociable.  The introvert in this one is strong.

If I was there as Meg, I wouldn't have been able to have the same conversation with my Congressman.  I referred to an earlier meeting and what we discussed there.  My state senator has seen Meg, and I would have been comfortable coming out to him.  I might have had a better chat with the LGBT chair if I was dressed.

But people would have also assumed I was one of the official people, rather than just a rank-and-file member.  Most of us wore casual clothes; dresses were rare but not unknown among the delagates.

I'll continue to say I'm going out to eat, or meeting friends, or going to "a synagogue" but I am cautious.  I know we're all friends here, and any fears have really zero chance of happening, but it makes me more calm and comfortable, and that makes Meg more natural.

I hope you understand.

And, for the record, I did wear the LGBT sticker.


  1. Sounds like your choice worked out fairly well. I am not at all out, except to my family. So I would also be cautious. I have a son who is gay, so I might wear the sticker anyway.

  2. Caution is wise, especially considering your current domestic situation.............I would wear the sticker, and just say I support freedom


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