Monday, January 21, 2013

All Dressed Up and Somewhere to Go - Part II

I wish I could remember everyone I spoke with.  I wish I could have spoken with more ladies.  Everyone was nice ~ no exceptions, although some were exceptional.

Two personal issues prevent me from enjoying "happy hour" type events.  I've spoken of them before.  Briefly, I'm a classic introvert.  The new-agey definition is, extroverts gain energy from people; introverts gain energy by being alone.  It's pretty accurate, at least for me.  I feel drained if I'm around people too long ~ it's hard to describe.  Sometimes it borders on panic and I've been known to leave rather than face a group milling about.  The other is my prosopagnosia (I don't recognise faces).  So I often find myself in the embarrassing position of introducing myself to people who remember me and wonder "what's wrong with this woman?"

Knowing my limitations helps with the first issue and having an accomplice helps with the second.

After a bit of schmoozing, we sat down in the large living room.  Twenty or so chairs were arranged in a circle so the ladies could sit and talk and listen.  Charity and I (and a couple of others) sat in the gallery ~ the living room is somewhat sunken and Christine put a few chairs above and behind the circle.  Think theatre balcony.  I believe Charity, Kacey, Rhonda, and I sat up there.

Christine had the newcomers (about a quarter of the group) introduce ourselves and tell a bit of our stories.  All I'll say is, we're a pretty diverse group.

I don't know what's normal here.  I expect I will after a few soirees, but maybe not ~ no-one said they do the same thing every time.  But at this meeting, Christine led a VERY useful and informative session on helping us to pass better by simply sitting and standing in a more feminine manner.  She handed out a little two-pager which I keep on my vanity so I can have a reminder of what to do.  One of my "New Years resolutions" is to try to improve my mannerisms ("improve" in this case is make more feminine) to the point where I have to think about it to seem male, not to seem female.  I'll talk about this and other resolutions in the coming weeks.

For the record, Christine is a great role model.  Her movements and mannerisms would never give her away.

Including Pamela, Christine's wife, there were four ggs there.  I was SURE there were five or six.  I won't say which of the ladies were that perfect.  I also won't divulge conversations ~ if you wanna know what goes on, sign up for the next one.

I'm pretty sure I'll be there.

Tomorrow: mostly pictures.

Today, I just wanted to include a picture of Christine as she was explaining poise to us.  She demonstrated "how not to stand" in the photo on the left, and on the right, well, it's just a typical pose.  I wish I had her natural poise and posture.  It would make Meg's life so much easier.  I fear I'm closer to the Neanderthal on the left, most of the time.  I think I have until the next Soiree to practice!

Left: NO                       Right: WOW


  1. I suspect that poise is never natural, it has just been practiced so much that it appears natural, just like a fine musician makes it seem easy, it isn't they have just practiced a lot. My mothers school used to have deportment lessons, (for the daughters of Gentlemen), looking around it is easy to see that that has largely fallen out of practice.

  2. Meg -

    It sounds like you have a great group to go to.... The lessons on standing, etc. are essential to presenting yourself well. I wish I had someone near me who could teach the same things to me.... (Could you send a copy of that two page document you mentioned to my private email address?) Has anyone covered issues with voice?


  3. Meg.

    I share the affliction of prosopagnosia, though I've never had a technical term applied to. I just tell people that my name-face recognition factor is broken. I end up compensating in a variety of ways (the photos or our meetup, with everyone sporting a name tag, is one example).

    You're right about the balcony, although being there never gets you a 'pass' from a full go-around the group session. Speaking of Kacey, I'm wondering where her bounty of photos has gotten to. I was hoping that the photog enthusiast among us would post a bunch of great photos.

    So, prosopagnosia will not be acceptable as an excuse for missing the next meetup. I find them exhilarating, despite stumbling on names and introducing myself to someone I've spoken to the last two times we've gotten together.


    Rhonda (from the cheap seats)

  4. That sounds like a good group with a practical side. I used to attend a number of TG group meetings and conventions, and only once or twice recall a seminar or meeting about mannerisms - it's a great idea. It's hard to find good role models on that, a Paula mentioned. May I second the suggestion that you publish some of the hints on that document? I seriously doubt you're the Neanderthal on the left!


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