Stop the Presses
I Am An Idiot.
New Plan:
I take my wife to the doctor on Monday morning, then I can
go home
change
hit the road!
All I have to do is to let my wife know I'll be doing that in advance. I still have a few days. I need to find some time when the boys are elsewhere.
I can't predict the conversation but I can predict the outcome.
I'll tell her what I plan to do.
She'll tell me it's a bad idea for any number of reasons (jeopardise my job, how can I check in to the hotel like that, what if I get stopped...).
I'll parry them, and change at home late Monday morning or early afternoon.
As long as I'm on the road by 1:30 or so I'll beat traffic, daylight, and the boys coming home. And I'll have time to shop at one of the many malls I've already described, on my way down.
The only question is, will she stay around the house while I change or make herself scarce? She might just park herself downstairs in the back part of the house. In that case, I have to figure out if I should just walk out without her seeing me, or if I should go back and say goodbye. Either way ~ I can assure you I will make the wrong choice. I do know she's not going to come upstairs and chat while I'm changing. I would not consider that likely. I do not know if that would be comforting or anxiety-producing. Last time (for Halloween) she helped when asked, and made herself scarce as quickly as she could.
This is The New Plan, unless her doctor runs hours late. But I don't expect that and I will have a bit less organising to do (making sure I have everything for the changing room, figuring out what to carry it all in, parking myself in a restroom for the better part of an hour).
This is a better solution, all round. Why didn't I think of it a week ago?
Meg,
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the "Conversation". I think that it may have been easier facing the "Spanish Inquisition" than counter punching your wife's questions.
The bottom line is driving while dressed is a huge lure for us while at the same time your wife will stay home conjuring up any number of disaster scenarios. If your wife is like mine she knows and to some degree accepts that she is married to a CD but cannot turn off the worry machine. I think that one way they handle us and our CD proclivities is to pretend to ignore it.
Unlike me, my wife is well organized and could find a needle in a haystack. I know that she knows that I have small bags of outfits hidden all over the place. While it was never discussed I am sure that she knew that whenever I travelled I would have at least one bag with me. I think that not having 'official' confirmation that we are out and about while dressed allows our wives to maintain plausible deniability.
Once you have the 'conversation' your wife will be on official notice that Meg is out and about. She now has one more reason to worry about your safety and welfare when you are on the road.
You ask about saying goodbye to her after you are dressed and ready to go. I vote yes. I could not imagine leaving the house for any reason, let alone a business trip of several days, without a proper 'goodbye'. That would be out of character for me since I say goodbye if I am merely going out for a paper. I am finding that behaving in my normal character regardless of how I am dressed is helping my wife accept the CD me.
She will be worried about you no matter what you say or do. After dressing I would give yourself a 15 minute window (it may only take 15 seconds) to chat with your wife and say goodbye. It is better that she see you dressed and knows that you are not leaving the house in the middle of the day looking like a 2-bit hooker. She needs to know that you look presentable. It will give her the opportunity to sense how important this venture is to you. She will sense your excitement. You can also explain to her that driving while dressed is assurance that you will be driving extra carefully and will not be speeding. It also gives her the opportunity to understand that you are the same character regardless of how you are dressed.
Good luck.
Pat
Bless you for your comment Pat! I agree.
ReplyDelete