Thursday, October 28, 2010

Unique

First, I got my brows waxed and a manicure yesterday. I'll write that up for an afternoon update. Check back around 12 or 1.

Latest forecast: partly cloudy, high 64. I'll take it.

Before I get into this, I hope everyone knows the difference between a mall and the Mall, here in the Washington area. Meg has been to malls before. She's never been to the Mall. I'll try to remember to capitalise as appropriate.

I've been going over my past trips out. It didn't take long; there are way too few.

They're all different in some ways. Saturday will be unique on many levels.

The past:

Makeup: often, a stranger did my makeup and I went out. Sometimes, it was with my makeup lady, sometimes not. Sometimes she came to my house (or I went to hers), sometimes at a mall. Once a friend (to whom I came out) did my makeup. Sometimes I did it my own makeup.

Audience
: mostly, it was visits to a mall, or while out of town, or while going out of town so I was among strangers. But for the last two Halloweens I met with people I worked with. And there was that Mardi Gras party: some friends, some strangers. The clothing swaps and my day with Kim and Nikki (I owe you that story) were unusual: I spent some time with two women who knew me as "me" but first knew me because of Meg.

So what's so unique this time? Lots and lots, and it's mostly scary.

* I'll be out with friends and family. That's new. We'll go out from the house, spend a day together, and return to the house. I'm trying to figure out what to do when I get home. I'll probably clean up and change. It would be funnier if I said "I can't wait to change out of this suit!" and came back down in a skirt and top. I think, no matter how the day went, my wife wouldn't see the humour. But I'll have a skirt + top ready.
* I'll be in a situation where I may (will) meet people I know who are unprepared.
* I'll be riding the metro ~ new experience. I will be part of a huge crowd.
* The crowd at the Mall will be big, possibly unruly, definitely undersupervised. All it takes is one wise guy. Or nut.
* There Will Be Cameras. I doubt I'll be picked out of a crowd that may be as large as 200,000 people, but who knows. Part of my reason for the costume is the humour possibilities. Someone in charge may see that possibility. I suspect everything in a live show is tightly scripted so this is a tiny tiny possibility. If they do something like invite people in costumes to come together, should I? I mean after all, it's not a costume. It's a character.
* I'll probably be interacting with random people. In previous trips, if someone spoke to me I could generally smile and move on. Here, not so much. I'm here to be a character. At the very least, I have to say "are you with the national media? I don't talk to the national media".

And although this is not unique, I'll be with lots of people. I think I've talked about my problem with people before, in any mode.

My anonymous friend Pat added a very flattering comment yesterday. (She does that a lot. I really don't mind!) In it she suggested "treading lightly" with my coming out. I thought about that and found a huge problem.

There's an old joke about the four frat boys who had a wild weekend and were too hungover to take a major test Monday morning. They told the professor they were out of town for a funeral and were rushing back and had a flat and no spare and had to wait for a tow and on and on. The professor agreed to give them a makeup test. When they sat down to the test, there was one question on the paper:

"Which tire?"

*sigh*

If I say to my friend (or someone we meet at the Mall) that "it seemed like a fun idea" or "I did Mardi Gras [and tell the story] and liked it so..." or "She's such a *#&^ing idiot I couldn't resist" or "what's scarier than Christine O'Donnell? A guy being Christine O'Donnell" or "Christine said to Mike Castle 'put your man pants on' and I thought I'd turn the tables" or anything like that and they talk to my wife separately and she says "yeah. He's got a whole closet full of dresses and shoes" I'm basically screwed.

I think no stories is going to be strictly enforced. If my wife says ahead of time "please say this is a one-time thing" I'll do that. But I can't ask her to learn my story and stick to it. That's neither right nor safe.

It comes back to why I don't lie. The truth is just easier.



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