Sunday, October 17, 2010

Get Out and Shop!

In response to my "fate intervened" aside, Elly suggested that now is a good time to shop for clothes because "it's just part of my costume".

That works, but not if friends see you shop. It will get you past the checkout with a minimum of blushing and stammering (been there, done that).

It won't work for me because I'm through with stories. Oh, I can see a time when I'll have to grit my teeth and spin a yarn but I'm hoping I will not get to that stage Ever. I'm hoping I can think fast and decide it's OK to react as I did in my past life regression event.

But if you want to get out the door and do a bit of shopping and need cover ~ Halloween is perfect.

In fact, this is the start of shopping season!

October: "it's part of my costume" works for almost anything you want to buy, including lingerie and makeup. When asked "what's your costume going to be?" you can either have an appropriate idea ready to relate, or reply "Oh no. Last time I told, it was all over the internet!"

November/December: "it's a gift" for the holidays works for almost anything you want to buy, especially jewelry. Makeup kits are more gifty than individual makeup items. "My teenage niece keeps talking about makeup and I thought this would be perfect for her!" Jewelry or clothing "for your wife". Lingerie, less so, because...

January/February: "it's a gift" for Valentine's Day works best for jewelry and lingerie.

Gifting works well for almost anything girly you want for yourself, but feel you need cover for. A pretty painting or wall hanging, a pink mug with "Sexy Lady" on it (or one like this), a shoe-a-day calendar (I bought one of these for my boss last year).... The list, like that last sentence, goes on and on. Go nuts.

Just keep two things in mind:
1. the sales assistant probably knows it's for you.
2. the sales assistant doesn't gave a ****.

Be ready to abandon that shopping cart when your friend turns the corner though! (hint: if you can, use a shopping cart so your friend doesn't see you with an armful and say "those panties can't be for your wife! I bet she's a size 4!" and you don't have to decide between "they're for me" and "they're for my mistress".

I hope to have time to present my costume idea to my wife today. Last minute voting is still allowed!

3 comments:

  1. Ha! Thanks for the cover stories! :)
    I'm half-way between telling the truth and fibbing with sales associates... what a sissy I am...
    You're right about running into a neighbor, lol!
    But you're right, I should be shopping too!

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  2. I also say thanks for the cover stories. Because I'm retired and I am not TOO bothered, about who see buying. I don't worry too much about it. Because here in the metro area there's 25 or more stores running into a neighbor is not possible. I do try to get to a saleperson when there's not a long line (just in case). I also sometimes buy "man style" I scout the racks decide what's going home with me, then in whorl I'll grab 6 items and try to escape quickly. OK! so I must be bothered at times!

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  3. I've run into people I know when I've had femme things in my hands while shopping...and never had a word pass betweeen us. Most folks are too wrapped up in their own lives to even notice, unless you're holding it up against yourself to see the skirt length or something.

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