"I Meant Everybody"

Instead of focussing on this post, I spent a long time looking for the original charter and e-mails.  I don't know what happened to them, unless I used a different e-mail address at that time.

Several years ago, I received an e-mail invite via Meetup.  It was from Kim Pratt, asking if I wanted to join a clothing swap.  Some time before, I listed a few preferences; I think that was the only one that wasn't specifically t-oriented.

Again, I wish I could have found the original e-mail.  The salutation said

Ladies!

and it went on to assume we were all women as it described her vision of a clothing swap.

She also wrote "everyone is welcome."

I wrote back and said "well, I'm not sure I'd be welcome" and told her that I was a crossdresser but I had clothing to swap and I liked the idea of getting "new to me" clothes.

She wrote back immediately and pointed out that she specifically said "everyone is welcome" and she meant it.  We wrote a bit, she put me at ease and I went to a swap.  I think I went in drab to the first one; I don't recall.  I've gone in drag and drab over the years.  Kim has given me some dresses that didn't fit her (or her daughter).  She took me out to a nearby store to shop and then let me do my makeup at her place so we could go all the way up to Baltimore to a small trans get together, my first ever.

Kim Pratt did more than she'll ever know to help Meg meet and greet the world.  She never failed to treat me as a friend or girlfriend as appropriate.

She's a wonderful woman who runs the swaps mostly so she can get clothing to give to charity.  She sometimes has a special target, a particularly needy woman or family, that she's collecting clothes for.  Although we can all use some extra money in these times she never makes money on these swaps and in fact gives of herself more and more every time.

Kim Pratt is a mom, wife, veteran, friend of the t-community (her swap co-leader is trans), and one incredible lady.

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Trade Ya!

I didn't get to the last clothing swap.  I wanted to ~ I have a large bag of nice clothing, including an evening gown.

My friend Steffi did go (and she went to Keystone as well ~ if she [or any reader] wants to tell me about her experience, I can offer some space]) and was nice enough to write up her experience.

Here is Steffi in her own words [with a tiny bit of annotation]:

I went to this local clothing swap [the one I've been to several times - MW].  Everyone brings unwanted clothes to the swap, where they get put out on tables by size.  At the appointed time, everyone is let into the room to go thru the clothes and take as much or as little as they want.

The swap is for women's clothes only and the swappers are 98% GGs.  This swap, there was me, another TG (S) and the organizer (K) [the amazing and wonderful Kim - MW] who is a trans supporter.

My wife tolerates my CDing, but does not want me dressing in the house or leaving or returning to the neighborhood dressed.  So, my usual protocol is to leave the house dressed en drab, change clothes in the car somewhere en route, and put on makeup in the ladies room at the venue.  By the time I get to the venue, I'm fully en femme with forms and wig, but with little or no makeup.  So it's more appropriate for me to go into the ladies room, rather than the men's room, to put on makeup.

So everything is going to plan, and I'm in the ladies room at the mirror applying my makeup.  A GG comes in, and she is stands behind me looking into the mirror.  The next thing I know, she is pulling her top over her head, exposing a sports bra.  Then she pulls a different top over her head and checks herself in the mirror.  Then she repeats this with a different top, maybe half a dozen times.  And I'm kind of frozen in place, although I keep working on my makeup and don't turn around.  I don't know if she didn't realize that I wasn't quite the girl I may have outwardly appeared to be or if she just didn't care.

After we turn in our clothes we are providing, we wait in an orderly line until the appointed time when the swap starts.  So while sitting waiting for the swap to start, I engage is a conversation with the GG sitting next to me about her acrylic nails.  I would love to do them once, but I've heard here that acrylics would wreck my nails in male mode until they fully grow out.  While we're talking, the GG on the other side chimes in about her shellacked nails.  I also told the first GG that on occasion that I let my natural nails grow out, and that they can get pretty long.  I showed her my nails and showed her some pics on my phone when they were even longer.  She was impressed.  Overall, a very enjoyable time of girl talk. [I've had nice chats as well at the swaps.  Wonderful group of ladies - MW]

One we're in the swap, one of the GGs says she's looking for Size 14 pants and jeans, if anyone finds any to throw them over to her.  I find about 4 or 5 and throw them over to her, for which she is very appreciating.

After finding a few interesting tops, jeans and skirts, I wander over to the shoes, and I find a pair of size 12 over the knee boots.  What a lucky find!  Into my bag they go.

After the tables are almost empty, It's time to turn into a pumpkin again.  I go into the men's room in full girl mode, and take over the handicapped stall where I exchange girl clothes for boy clothes.  Then I get out my makeup wipes and remove all the makeup and the transformation was complete.

These swaps are held regularly, and some of the GGs know me from previous swaps and come over to say, "Hi".  Sometimes they even pick out clothes that I might like, or comment on clothes that I have found on my own.

Just a great couple hours of being a girl, in an otherwise drab (pun intended) week.

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Click to enjoy

Fame and Wealth?

There was someone from Voice of America at the last clothing swap.  The marvellous Kim was the subject of a long interview and the reporter wandered around, chatting and shooting video.  I saw myself in the background of a couple of shots (long light blue dress) but I was not one of the lucky ones who was interviewed directly.  Funny....  None of us were.  I'm sure it was just numbers.  We were maybe 10 out of 300 ~ 3%.  He spoke with a half-dozen women.

I did like the headline: 

Social Media Draw More US Women to Clothing Swaps 

You can find video and a story on the VoANews website.

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Working Backwards

I've been out a few times, events I haven't written about yet.  I'm going to start with the most recent: last Saturday.

Saturday was Kim's biggest, best clothing swap yet.  It was publicised on the local t-groups.  There were vendors, raffles, food, and 300 or so women there.  I'd say there were maybe eight t's among the g's.

Typical scene (it might be wider than the screen; a click will help):

Anyone see Waldo?

At one point, many of the local girls sat down for a bite:

That's Kelly up front on the right, and Star and Andrea on the left.  I think that's a bit of Steffi behind Kelly, and Stephie is looking at the camera from the back.  I think Sharon was Desperately Seeking a Non-Ham Sandwich. :)

At one point, someone came up to me and told me she was a member of Christine's trans-group but I had no idea who she was: for some reason, she was dressed as a guy.  To each their own.

Alas, I wasn't in the pictures, since someone had to wield the camera.   I wore a blue maxi-dress and slides, and since Charity had to work, I got to practice my own makeup for a change.

I spoke to a number of women there, mostly little things: comments on their haul or what they were looking at.  At one point I said "I was hoping you'd put that down" and I snatched up a top (8P ~ it went down again).

I also spoke to one woman and asked to take her picture ~ I said she had "won first place:" she was carrying three huge bags full of clothing.  She laughed and said "I was trying to keep a low profile."

It was a long walk back to the car and along the way a woman who was just getting there asked where the

entrance was (I told her, and told her it was nearly over ~ she said she was picking up a friend).  In the parking lot, another woman said "how'd you do?" and we briefly compared notes.

I figure either (a) I pass pretty well, or (b) people are fine with how I present.  Either way is fine with me and proved once again that a swap is a great and safe place to go out and mingle with civilians, especially if you're like I was when I started going out: I did not want to interact with men.  Almost no men there, except for one vendor and Kim's husband and he's as accepting as anyone I ever met.  And that girl dressed in guy clothes.

So, how did I do?  I had brought in several very nice dresses, a skirt, and a blouse (none fit well) and I was happy to see that they all found new homes.  I didn't see a lot that I wanted to bring home, but I found a dress that Charity might like and a couple of tank-top-style camis for me.

Star and Andrea had mentioned to Charity that they'd maybe like to get together for dinner that evening.  Steffi was stag (doe?) that weekend and asked if she could come along.  We happily agreed, and the five of us had dinner at a local Tex-Mex restaurant.  Steffi went shopping and on other errands; I wore the same outfit I had to the swap.  It was pretty comfortable and kinda cute.  Alas, I forgot to get pictures of our gang.

For those keeping track, I didn't need to use the ladies' room at either the swap or the restaurant.  Even with a margarita.  (At the restaurant, not the swap.)

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Going Out: The Safest Place I Know

I sent this to a couple of local t-groups.  I know most of you are from points far away (in addition to English-speaking countries, friends from Netherlands and Germany, among others), but there are probably comparable groups where you are (although without our own Kim).

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Ladies,

I know some of the girls here like to get out and about, but only to safe places ~ t-meetings, t-friendly clubs, another girl's house.

A few years ago, on meetup, I expressed interest in as many "trans" keywords as I could think of, plus a few other topics.  One was "clothing swaps."

Then I forgot about it.

I think it was in early 2009 when I got an e-mail from Kim, telling me that she's starting a clothing swap and she was looking for ladies who were interested in getting together to pass on their old treasures for new-to-you ones.

I thought about it.  I was barely going out at that point.  I was looking for someplace that might be safe ~ and for me, especially back then ~ "safe" meant avoiding teens and especially men.

I thought some more.  I was pretty careful to stay in the closet ~ maybe poking a toe or a leg out but that was it.  I was careful about where I went, how I purchased clothing when in drab, and was terrified of being spotted by the neighbors on those rare occasions when I went out.

I thought some more.  I read the invite and the group home page.  Kim had some pretty inclusive language ~ everyone was welcome, and she kind of implied even girls like me were, although I thought I was reading more into what she wrote than she intended.  My inner optimist was peeking out.

I thought some more.  Then I wrote to Kim and laid my cards on the table.  I wrote something like "I'm not sure I'm the kind of woman you're expecting.  I'm a crossdresser."

Her response was "so?"  I paraphrase.

She explained that I was not reading too much into what she wrote: she meant everyone, including t-girls, when she said "inclusive."

We had a little back-and-forth, she assured me that I would be welcome and accepted (as if she could know that!) no matter how I dressed.  I wasn't sure if I would go in drab or dressed at that time.

It turned out it was on a day I was home alone and I went dressed to her first swap.  I was scared to death, but I walked into that room full of women and I was greeted by Kim and she had someone doing makeup and other little attractions and I was treated just like every other woman there.

Since then, I've been to several swaps ~ ten or more, I'd guess.  I was in drab once, dressed every other time.  I saw a few of my trans-sisters there, I chatted with many women and it was wonderful.

It's a total immersion experience, like being tossed into the deep end of a pool filled with estrogen.  I've NEVER spoken to a woman and had her reject me, or walk away, or even ignore me.  I've had women come up to me to chat.  I've complimented women on their clothes, envied their new treasures, and had the same returned.  I felt accepted and, dare I say it, normal.

Kim does several swaps a year.  Her next swap is just a couple of weeks away and it's a plus size swap ~ size 14+.  There is still room, if anyone wants to go.  The next swap is in April and it filled up literally within hours of being announced.  Then she found a larger location and opened it to more women.

Kim's co-host, Dianna, always shows up and (wo)mans the potluck table with her wife.  Dianna is one of us.

Whether you're going out-out for the first time, or just looking for a new experience, consider going.  You'll be accepted and have a good time.  I promise.

You can find some of my swap stories on my blog here, here, and here.

Meg

ps, I found out (not from Kim) that once someone wrote expressing concern about having guys in drag there.  She dumped her from the group.

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Post Swap

The Clothing Swap!  What a crowd!

I forgot to hand the camera to someone else to get Meg pics at the swap, but I took a few.  There were well over 100 women there and if there's a safer place among civilians, I don't know what it is.

(don't forget the poll)

A week or so before the swap, Charity picked up some items in Walmart that we needed to return.  So after the swap, we headed to Walmart.  We didn't spend a lot of time there: the line for customer service was oppressive and we decided to try again some other time.  I guess we could have looked at some items there, but we chose not to and went to our next stop: Michael's.

Charity enjoys crafts, especially scrapbooking and Michael's is her nirvana.  We spent a bit of time there and eventually planned to go to our next stop.

Paying at the Giant

Our next planned stop was the gamer's Super Bowl party.  They started at 1 and we going to run through the end of the game.  This was a different group than we had met in the past, and I was game (ha!).

But the more I thought about it... it was after 3 already so we wouldn't be staying very long.  Also, I was a bit (OK, very) overdressed for the game group.  This kind of made me think it would be best if we skipped today, so we did.

Instead, we did some grocery shopping at the supermarket near our apartment.

I'm happy to say that, with the crowds and all, it was completely uneventful.  There were no awkward civilian encounters.  The only thing I love more than being treated as a woman is being ignored.

Generally, after an afternoon out, I change.  Sometimes, I stay dressed for a short while, enjoying the feeling but I change sooner rather than later.

Nobody cares.  That's good, right?

Sunday, I took off my heels (ouch) and my earrings (ouch ouch) and left everything else on for the rest of the day.  I was dressed for dinner, I stayed dressed into the evening.  I finally changed when it was time to go to bed (and from there I went directly to nightgown).

I'm not sure what was different from other days, but it felt right and I enjoyed it.  In fact, I was ready to go back out after dinner.  I just didn't have anywhere in particular to go.

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Swappy Seconds

About the poll: of course, it should say "I love both equally."  I can't change a poll in progress.  So far, "what the &#)$! are you talking" about is winning! :D

Last Sunday was a Meg day.  It didn't go quite as planned, but was fun nonetheless.

$21 at Old Navy!

The main event was another clothing swap.  I don't seem to find a lot of items to bring home, but I do bring in items I can't use and it's a pleasure to watch them disappear quickly.  I'm a big fan of reuse.

One of the other swappers posted that she was looking for a ride to the swap.  I volunteered to pick her up at the Metro station and bring her there.  Then she told me she was going to help set up and break down and would have to be there an hour early and she'd leave late.  I felt she was now officially taking advantage, but I agreed to pick her up early at least.

Then someone else wrote that she would be coming early and she could pick her up.  So she dumped me (story of my life) for the other woman.  I was looking forward to additional civilian interaction, but at the same time I was glad to be off the hook.  I did ask her to ask Kim to point me out so we could say hi.  For some reason, she didn't identify herself to Kim so I never did meet her.  Ah well.

The swap was more crowded than I have ever seen.  We stayed a while, I spoke to some of the women there (including a couple of trans-sisters), and went on our way.

One item of interest: the swap is set up with a |_| of large tables organised by size.  At one point, I was walking along the back wall, looking at clothes on the "size large" table.  As I got to the end, I was going to squeeze around and walk up the left side of the |_|.  Except right behind the tables the room pushes out a bit and Kim had set up screens for changing.  I looked up and saw one woman in bra and panties, holding a dress she was going to pull on.  I decided to backtrack and go around from the other side of the table.  I'm glad I'm accepted there, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.  That's never my goal.

By the way, I picked up two dresses at Old Navy on impulse a couple of months ago.  It was right outside the nail salon, and after I had my pedicure, I couldn't resist.  One was purple; I wore the other to the swap.  Both are similar in cut and style.  The purple one was on a mannikin, and it looked way too short but when I held the dress up to me, it looked fine.  Both had back zips, and were lined.  The sleeves on the purple dress are longer.  Both are made of the same light material.  Each was $21.

The purple one doesn't fit right.  It seems smaller across the bust and I can't lift my arms comfortably.

Go figure.

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More on the Swap

After the swap, Aeify and I wanted to go to Payless.  She thought I needed black boots to wear with the dress she suggested for church the other day.  I told her there was one in the mall that was nearby and practically on the way back to the apartment.  I told her that they're planning to redo the mall but they've been planning that for a while and I didn't know when they'd be doing that.
We entered through the JC Penney, since I knew my way in from there.  The Payless was pretty close, but we could browse and walk the mall anyway.

Aeify looked at some skirts and dresses (well, I did too but she took the lead) and we walked to the little Sephora booth in the store.  I knew the mall entrance was near the Sephora stuff but I figured I must've been wrong ~ there was no entrance there.  Eventually, I went over to a cashier and asked where the mall entrance was.  She said the mall was closed, except for the anchor stores.  Yeah, I could see where I thought the entrance was, there was a new temporary-looking wall instead.

Outside daVinci Nails at the mall

I was scheduled to bring my son to Sunday school so we headed back to the apartment where I sadly removed my makeup (and nail polish) and went about our day.

Another Clothing Swap!

There was another clothing swap on Sunday.  It was the fourth or fifth I attended as Meg, and the second I attended with Aeify.  She was nice enough to do my nails the day before (after we figured out that I didn't have to go anywhere) and to help with my makeup.  I need to be careful: if I depend on her skills too much I'll forget how to do it myself!  She also convinced me that I could wear a skirt that was both one of my favourites and one I always thought was too short to wear out of the apartment.  She also recommended I wear my boots, also never worn outside.  They were pretty comfortable and I was happy with the choice.

Yes, it was a zoo.  But great to be with all those women!

We packed our Big Bag O' Clothes into the car and stopped at the local Safeway to pick up a hundred or so water bottles for the swap.  When we got there, the place was *packed* and, even though it wasn't quite one o'clock yet, the other women were attacking the tables and racks with vigour. (By the way, I held back on a few choice items because at the Transgender Day of Remembrance event they ask that you bring an article of clothing or some canned goods.  I brought a skirt, a nightgown, and a couple of dresses.)

I first spent some time taking pictures, chatting with Kim (the hostess), and chatting with some other women.  I felt free and safe to make random comments to start conversations ~ commenting on something someone picked up, or on the crowd, or how I loved what she was wearing.  One woman said she liked the swap because she never went to the "running of the brides" ~ Filene's Basement would stock their store with just bridal gowns, bridesmaids gowns, mother-of-the-bride dresses and so on.  They were marked way down and hordes of women would charge in at opening to find that perfect dress and just the right accessories.  I mentioned to her that she missed her chance: Filene's had closed a few months earlier.

At the shoe table, I was talking to one woman about a very pretty pair of pink pumps with artwork on the toe area.  While we were trying to discern the size (alas, her size, not mine) another woman picked up the mate.  The second woman never put the shoe down, and the woman I was talking to was equally determined.  I checked the table several times to see if one magically appeared.  I was planning on grabbing it and offering it to whoever had the mate.  I never saw the shoe appear, and the woman I was talking to vanished.  I hope she got the pair.  I'm not playing favourites ~ I just know she picked it up first and thought that should count for something.  I engaged the other woman and told her that I was talking to someone who picked up the shoe and was trying it on when the mate vanished, but she didn't take the hint and I didn't pursue further.


I also saw a woman pulling up a plaid miniskirt that I had donated two or three swaps ago.  I guess someone took it home, decided it wasn't quite what she wanted (or perhaps it didn't fit) and she brought it back to a swap.  I told her that that used to be mine and my conjecture about how it got to be hers.  She was in her 20s and she had a HUGE box of clothes.  She said she was planning outfits as she was picking up clothes and said "I can totally rock that skirt!"  I looked sad and said "I can't."  She laughed.

And I had a chance to speak to Steffi a bit.  She was nice enough to observe that I had lost weight.  I wish I had, but in reality, I was wearing a new padded panty (more later) and I think the bigger hips and butt made my waist look a bit smaller!

I picked up a tote that might work for my work bag.  Aeify picked up a dress that she wore for the rest of the day.  I think for me, right now, the swap is more for getting out and getting rid of clothes than finding new things, although that's definitely a bonus.

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A Very Special Weekend, Part IV

Pre-Swap

(sorry early birds.  I screwed up Tuesday and scheduled my post for 6:30 PM instead of AM).

I had told Aeify about my recent visit to the UU church and we toyed with the idea of going.  We also thought about going to Old Town Alexandria for a bit before the swap.  Once again though, getting some extra sleep took priority and it was 10 (church service start time) when we started getting ready.

Aeify again did my makeup, very differently from Friday, and my eyes looked beautiful.  She said she enjoyed doing it because my lids are larger than hers so she has more area to work with.  I don't care why.  I enjoyed it and I wish I could do my eyes that good!  I think I need to have her come back, even if it's just to do my eyes.  I hope it's because she enjoys my company though.  (I'm sorry, Aeify.  I know you're reading.  I don't want to put you on the spot.  Honest.)



We had coffee but skipped breakfast and went to the swap, even though we were early.  I had a HUGE garbage bag full of clothes and shoes ~ definitely more than the price of admission for the two of us.  I promised Kim I'd bring 40 pounds of ice so we stopped at a supermarket on the way and picked up some bags.


By the way, I think I have the answer to my impromptu experiment.  We were mostly ignored as we shopped.  At the swap and as we walked Alexandria and ate dinner later, we were treated as two women.  I think identical dresses accounted for most if not all of the unexpected attention and Meg is just fine at blending.

We were greeted by Kim's husband as we were about to enter the swap location.  He remembered Meg; I introduced Aeify (the first of several introductions).  He graciously brought in the ice.  I stayed in role and let him. :)

Dianna Li (L) and Kim, our hostesses

When she saw the ice, before she saw me, Kim shouted "Meg's here!"  We hugged, I introduced my out-of-town friend and I gave Kim the Reader's Digest version of what's been going on in my life and caught up on hers.  I love Kim.  She's been through a lot, and always bounces back and never said "I have too much on my plate.  I can't do the clothing swap."  It's for charity and that's important to her.  There are now over a thousand members in her group.  She limited attendence to 150 and it filled almost immediately.

And Kim is another woman who Accepts, not just accepts.  But everyone there was wonderful.  I spoke to several women, I didn't see any clothing I wanted to bring home with me (a good thing), I had a little lunch and girl watched (there was one guy there with what was probably his girl friend).

When we first arrived, there was just a small crowd since the swap wouldn't start for another half-hour.  One woman started helping Aeify unload the clothes while I spoke to Kim and she started talking to both of us, telling Aeify how she wants to take all of Meg's clothes home with her but she'll resist.  There was a deaf woman there (I knew because I saw Kim signing with her) who was trying on a pair of platform pumps I brought in ~ they did not work on my feet.  I was trying to tell her that they were my shoes and looked fabulous on her, but I know one sign and that is only useful in traffic.  (Actually, I was told Meg can use another sign in traffic: look at the guy who's giving you a hard time, smile and hold your thumb and index finger up with about an inch of air between them.)  Anyway, I hope my smile and thumbs up gave her the right idea.

I LOVE that dress!

I also complimented one woman ~ she had a very feminine, very pretty dress and accessories I would love to own.  I told her that I was sad because I knew anything else she brought in was probably beautiful too AND nowhere near my size.  But I was free with my compliments ~ I try to make sure the fashionistas know their effort is enjoyed.

There was one other t-girl there and we chatted a bit.  She remembered me; I didn't remember her name, but I did remember that I should remember her (huh?).  We all chatted a bit and discussed upcoming t-activities that we might attend and meet again.

And did I mention Dianna?  She's the swap co-host and comes with her wife.  So yes, if you're looking for a t-friendly event in the DC area, the swap definitely works.  In fact, a couple of years ago someone in the group complained about "us" being part of the swap and Kim just dropped her.

Near the end of the swap I made a faux pas.  I wasn't thinking and decided to use the ladies' room.  I'm feeling more comfortable with that and I figured these women saw me there and were OK and it should be no problem.

In past swaps, Dianna brought in a couple of screens and they were set up in one corner of the room.  I studiously avoided that corner and never try on clothes at the swap.  This time Dianna forgot the screens.  Now ladies....  You're in a local government centre.  There are piles of clothing sitting out.  There is no changing room/changing area.  So where do you go?

I walked into the ladies room and saw a woman who had clearly just pulled on a pair of pants.  I saw several other women standing in the restroom and I kept my eyes at eye level and made a beeline for a stall.  I did my business and kept my eyes on my own as I washed my hands and left as quickly as I could.  No "HEYs" or "Get Outs".  No comments.  I did notice a smile or two ~ I think they were amused at my discomfiture.  That's OK.  I love to entertain.

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A Very Special Weekend, Part III

Saturday was rainy.  My eyes were tired from wearing my contacts all day.  Sunday was clothing swap day and we spent some time looking at Meg clothes to try to find something to wear and we watched some videos (we have similar tastes but different histories) and we talked and ate and walked around the neighborhood between raindrops and before we knew it Saturday was gone.  There were Meg activities, but it involved looking more than doing and, you know, that was OK.

A Gemini in front of a Gemini

I am still reluctant to part with my girl clothes and such.  I worked hard to get each piece.  It's never easy to find a dress that will cover my back hair or with enough sleeve for me to wear (although that's changing).  It rare to find cute clip earrings or hot shoes in my size.  So I tend to treat the earrings that are like torture devices for my ears or the shoes I can only wear for an hour or the dress that's way too dressy or way too frumpy for me as a trophy, not as a wardrobe item.  Plus, my range changes.  I shaved and waxed to the point that I could wear shorter sleeves and lower backs than I thought possible before.  So should I get rid of that sheath dress just because I can't or won't wear it out today?

I have to remember that as my range expands so do my options.  I can get a new dress that I will wear out today, and it'll be easier to find.  And what I do have will be out-of-date and attract negative attention anyway.  So do I need my trophies?

Aeify had no such issues, at least with my clothes!  When I pulled out a dress she had no problem telling me it was hideous (for me) and that it should go in the swap bag.  More than once I heard something like "that's nice, for 1983."  Into the swap bag.  I think if I had her around for another day or two I'd cut my closet needs in half, and have only things I can and should wear.  I am not complaining, and I never questioned her judgements.  And I enjoyed playing Barbie, and I'm glad I had someone to treat me like her own dress-up doll.  (Notice I did not say "fashion doll".)

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That Clothing Swap VII

Finally, just to prove I was really there, I asked Kim to take a couple of pictures of Meg.

My next trip out: I don't know.  They keep threatening to send me to Arizona again, but I can't get a definite date or duration.  My hope was to be in Tucson during Pride in the Desert.  I admit I am somewhat apprehensive about that, but ready to go.  I think my problem is crowd size, but it's pretty far outside my comfort zone as well.  If the timing works, I'll go.  My ideal was to go out before the weekend (travel today) and return in two weeks, spending the intervening weekend in Tucson.  But if they want to send me out next week, I'll go out as early Saturday as I can and spend at least a few hours there.  I'll stay in Tucson until Sunday afternoon and Meg can drive down.

This is still a possibility.  You'll be the first to know!

What Is It About Girls and Shoes?

Meg, Happy sand Relaxed

That Clothing Swap VI

I goofed.  Swap V showed up out of order.  If you missed it, it's here.

Today, I just have a couple of pictures of the swap and swappers.  I had to capture this little princess someone brought with her.  I really wanted to say something to mom, but I didn't know if she'd be weird about me around her daughter.  There's so much misinformation and misconceptions about misses like us that I didn't want to chance it.  That was probably stupid of me.  I think I'm too sensitive to what the civilians are thinking. 

I do know what most of you are thinking: why didn't my mom put a dress on me and take me to a clothing s

  

That Clothing Swap IV

The Shoe Table.  Wow.

I didn't want to spend too much time at the swap.  I didn't want to take too much advantage of my wife's accommodations.  It was hot hot hot and I was sweaty.  It was a potluck, but I didn't have anything to eat because of the location: it's in a county government centre, with a constant police presence.

I just had a thought: next time, maybe I'll head off any problems and go to the little booth where they keep the police so they don't annoy the people and tell them, if necessary, I'll be using the ladies' room.

I wandered, I looked, I schmoozed.  I was a bit uncomfortable with the crowd so after an hour or ninety minutes I left.  I was there well before the swap began, so I was there for two or two and a half hours altogether.

I did fine a nice long skirt which I've worn around the house and it's really comfortable and pretty, and I picked up three pairs of shoes.  The blue pair fit well, the patterned pair was OK, and the nicest pair, those patent platforms, was Just Too Tight.  And they were all size 11s.  And be sure to click on the shoe table, above, to zoom in and see those spectacular (way too small) bone platforms on the table!

That Clothing Swap III

Lynda and Shannon

As an aside, twice in the past couple of weeks I wrote a post and forgot to actually post it, which is why you early birds and Brits and Ozzies didn't see a post on time.  I'm in the midst of a cold right now, and I'm gonna use that as an excuse for my latest error.  No excuse for the other one, but I'll think of something.  Probably after I'm through with this cold!

Another aside: my toenail looks horrid, but it doesn't hurt to put pressure on it.  I tried on some shoes the other day, and they felt OK.  Since I still have exposed under-toenail-skin I don't think I can get a pedicure but...

So I pulled out of the garage and no-one was around.  I drove the same way as I do to work, because the Shoppers Food Warehouse where I was going to buy soda and ice is less than a ten-minute walk from my office.  I was mildly worried that someone from the office might see me, but that's always a possibility and I live with it.  Sometimes, I hope I'll see someone.  Other times, not.  Still others, I don't really think about it at all.

Stylish Swappers I didn't chat with :(

At the supermarket, I got a couple of smiles and I smiled back.  Does that mean I was read?  I don't really care.  I'd rather not be read.  I think they enjoyed my outfit and how stylish I looked.

Read or not, to me I was just another woman shopping that day.  And most shoppers, as usual, ignored me.  The cashier was helpful, getting the ice out of my cart for me, which was nice.  I did notice he refrained from saying "ma'am" or that other gender-specific word.  Maybe he always does that.

Someday, I hope to get a "Miss."  I'm not hopeful though.

By the time I got to the swap I was already sweaty.  Kim had just arrived and her husband was unloading the car.  I took out my stuff, making several trips with the soda and ice and getting wetter each time.  The air conditioner inside was either off or really weak ~ it was hot, and as women arrived in waves it just got hotter.

Before I went to the swap, I challenged myself: I was going to speak with random people at the swap.  I didn't set a goal, but I was going to start conversations with strangers.  This is harder than going out dressed, for me.

I did it.

As I wrote earlier, I told the woman with the polka dot shoes that she had the best shoes at the swap.  I commented on clothing women picked off the tables or racks, if I was nearby: "that's beautiful!"  "I wish I could find something like that in my size" "that would look great on you!"  "I love your earrings."

And so on.

Sometimes I got a small smile and nothing else in return.  Sometimes I got a warm welcome and some nice conversation.  Shannon and Lynda, pictured here, were friends who came together and Shannon, in particular, was gregarious and friendly and treated me like any other lady.  They posed for this picture.  Lynda is a swap member and she brought her friend with her ~ I'm glad she did.  I think whenever Meg is out and feeling good she meets at least one woman like that.  And at the swaps, if no-one else is around I know Kim will be, and she's one of the most outgoing women I know.

One funny thing: one woman approached me and asked me to delete her photo.  We chatted a bit; she doesn't like her picture taken.  I don't know why she wouldn't.  She's a nice looking woman, in her 40s maybe.  I deleted her picture and later told her that I was carefully watching for her and ensuring she wasn't in any pictures.  She apologised for her "quirk" and I said I'm glad she told me.  Oh... for those who were wondering, when we first spoke I carefully noted what she was wearing so I could find her later.  You know I'd never recognise her after that first encounter otherwise!  And that's my quirk!

There was only one other t-girl there and we spoke a tiny bit and I asked her if she wanted her picture taken; she said no, so I avoided her too.

I respect all comfort levels, even as I encourage people to step out of theirs and I step out of mine.

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That Clothing Swap II

Meg, Ready to Roll

It was way too hot for Meg.  But I went to the swap for three reasons:

1. I promised I'd bring soft drinks
2. I had a big bag of swappables filling up my closet
3. It was a Meg day out

Item 3 is trump, of course.

After much sweating, I decided on a new long black-and-white skirt, bare legs, and the purple top and wedges I wore in Arizona.

My family was home at the time I wanted to start, but this was the last day of the 4-H fair.  Originally, they were going to the beach that day, but she postponed it for the fair.

Normally, I resign myself to changed plans, but this time I told her that she needed to take my son to the fair early and stay the whole day.  It was my son's birthday and we'd go out to dinner later.  To my amazement, my wife agreed to this.  She tried a couple of times to change plans ("it turns out we don't really have to be there at all!"), but I pushed back.  She promised she'd get out early, but she never does.  This time she did, and I made a point of thanking her both for that and for giving me the day.  I spent a lot of accumulated husband points that day.

In spite of that, I got out of the house at the latest time I wanted to, to get to the swap on time.  Sometimes, it just takes me a bit of time to get started.  I don't know why; it just does.

Before I started, I put my car in the garage so I could "sneak" out.  I pulled out my purse and clothes and makeup and jewelry and wig and, of course, my detailed list of everything I needed to bring/do/wear.

I put an ice chest in the car for ice.  Kim (the lovely lady who runs the swap) said she'd supply ice but I knew she'd need  some to get started.

So... that detailed list.  I originally planned a leisurely shower, shave everything, get ready starting at 7:30 and finishing at noon.  Yes, that's a long time but I had done no pre-shaving and I wanted to maybe change my mind about clothes.  Besides, I always expect to take more time than I do.

Instead of 7:30, I got started at 9:30.  I was done shaving and showering at about 10:10.

By 10:30, I had my contacts in and my makeup ready.  I moisturised and put on my foundation and eye primer.  Twenty minutes later, I had my eyes done and fifteen minutes after that I had my lips and powder done.

I chose jewelry and put on my undies and pads.  I had hoped to try on some tops and skirts but I went with my first choices.  I put on my wig, loaded my purse and it was only 11:30.  I wanted to leave absolutely no later than noon.  That meant I had time to take a couple of pictures before I left, like the one here.

And a note:
No post tomorrow.
Izzie, Mikey, Irving, Sam
We're the boys who eat no ham

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That Clothing Swap V

There's not much more to tell.  I stopped for gas on the way home without anything interesting happening.

I had a great time, and I felt good.  I didn't have time to enjoy that good feeling for long.  I still had to change, and I did want to take my son out to his traditional birthday dinner.

I have some pictures of swappers and clothing that I'll post over the next couple of days.  Today, Paula, I wanted to show you that, yes, there were some women in dresses there.  I want that dress.  I told the owner that I loved it and that I can never find dresses like that in my size.  She wasn't interested in conversing, alas.  I blame the surprise factor.  People don't expect to see me and some have an easier time of regaining their composure than others.  Fortunately, most seem to be OK.  I liken it to finding someone in a wheelchair, or a guy in a horrible toupee, or someone with extreme piercings, like those giant hoops that stretch the hole in your ear to inches across.  It's unexpected, and the kind of thing your four-year-old would stare at.  I admit Meg is in that category.  I'm glad I mostly deal with adults.

The second picture is Meg and Kim, our hostess.  I like Kim.  She's fun to be around, but she is one of those people who will walk up to strangers and have conversations like she's known them all their lives.

Once, we were out at one of those discount places that has racks of clothes and thousands of shoes.  We looked around; alas, all of the shoes were 10 or smaller.  There was a guy there who was looking at shoes and surreptitiously slipping on a pair here and there.  I pointed him out to Kim.  We were going to a t-group meeting later.  (I think I owe you that story, don't I?)  She walked up to him, and started to chat.  I saw them looking at me and they talked for maybe ten minutes.  When she came back, I said "what did you say to him?"  She said "I invited him to come to the meeting tonight.  I said we could give him a ride, and gave him my number so he could let me know if he can make it."

As we were walking toward that shop, a sudden breeze came up and blew my skirt up.  No show, but I had to push the hem down.  Kim saw an older man looking at me, probably hoping for a show.  She looked at him and said something like "nothing to see here.  Sorry.  Better luck later."  He laughed.

We're very different people, but she's a great friend of the community, and she's very special to me.

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That Clothing Swap

The Best Shoes at the Swap!

This is what you call a cop-out.  The swap was August 7.  It's now two months later and I haven't written a word about it except for the pre-swap post.

So today, finally, I'm not going to write about the swap.

I usually write a few days in advance, and I move things around as Life Happens (or, better, Meg Happens).  So, for example, I had a post for the day after I met with Joanie but I bumped it because I was feeling so good when I got home that I just had to write about it.  Normally, Meg comes home and has to change and scrub and she crashes after all that and it's hard to write.

And right now, I have nothing to write about.  OK, that's far from true.  I have a long list of notes and ideas and I'm still stiffing Vanessa and that's wrong but my Muse isn't helping me.

But nothing's ready.

So, for the next few days, unless something changes, I'll be writing a bit about the swap each day and posting a photo.

And, ladies, I recommend going to a swap.  It's a great chance to be surrounded by clothing and women.  This is as close to Eden as I can imagine.

Although all of these pictures are on the clothing swap site, I decided that I'd try to avoid having the faces of random women on this blog.  So you'll see backs and profiles more than faces.  If someone is quite in the background, I'm making a judgement call that that's OK.  Although everyone seemed OK with me at the swap, some might not like to be seen on a T-blog.  What are the odds that anyone would find their picture here, or someone they know would say "hey, you're on Meg's blog?"  I figure the chances are minuscule and I'm being overly concerned, but I just didn't want y'all to think I'm just a really bad photographer.  This was deliberate editing.

The picture at the top of the post is, as I wrote, the best shoes at the swap.  I told the owner that, and that I loved her shoes.  I did that more than I expected, and surprised myself every time I did it.

Here she is, from the back.  She's pretty and I wish I had a better shot of the front of the dress ~ it's pretty too.  Click to make it larger.  And it was nice to not be the only woman in a dress there.

No More Body Shaving!

At least as of two days ago.  I really like looking down and seeing hairless hands, so I may try to keep them clean, but as for the rest....

As I mentioned, I'll be in Cape Cod next week and my hair situation is odd (it usually is).  Right now, my back and neck have been waxed, my chest is shaved down to the nipples, my arms and underarms and legs are clean (although that grows back rather quickly).  Hopefully, it'll normalise enough for shirtless and shorts activities next week.  If not ~ No More Stories.  I'll think of the right way to tell the truth.

I need to write up my clothing swap and dinner with Vanessa.  Please give me a few days ~ because the house on the cape is small, I may not be able to write until I return.  I will have a Meg photo from the swap tomorrow!

The short story: Meg had a fun time at the swap and if it wasn't 100 degrees inside the building she would have had more fun.  But she spoke with a lot of lovely ladies and that was really my stress point: talking to people, not going out.  Vanessa is an interesting gurl and I like her.  I hope we can meet again, dressed or not.

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Life Gets In The Way

I have the house to myself from yesterday midday until tomorrow midday.

My original plan:

Monday evening: I was looking at local meetups.  There are a couple of political ones, and several "meditation" meetups.  I ignored the dance, run, exercise meetups.  Most start around 7, which means Meg could easily attend after work.  Many have just one attendee, which did not interest me.  A few had five or so, which I thought would be just right, even for an introvert.

Tuesday I was to take a day off from work.  Go into DC.  I've been in touch with one of my original makeup ladies; she suggested we get together downtown and we'd go around a bit.  I think it'd be fun to show how I've grown (it's been a number of years, and even though I don't practice as much as I'd like, I know I'm better than I was then, even with her expert help).  I was looking at local events Tuesday evening (and didn't find any).  I shouted out to the local TG "going out" group and heard nothing back.  I looked at Meetup groups I could crash again.  I did hear from Vanessa, who recently moved to my area (actually, we're practically neighbors now) and we're scheduled to meet for dinner tonight.  Vanessa and I missed each other when I was in Richmond (my fault) and I'm not going to miss her again!

Wednesday I was going to go into work late so I can put everything away in a neat, orderly way so I can find everything next time (like my favourite makeup, jewelry by style and colour, etc).  I have dreams I can fly too.

Life intervenes.

My wife has a little family get together Saturday in New York.  We'll all go, but instead of returning Sunday, she procured a little house on a salt marsh in Monument Beach.  That's right at the western edge of Cape Cod.  So we'll go from New York to Cape Cod and stay there for a week.  Unfortunately, I only have four days of vacation time right now ~ new job and all.  My job bills in two week, eighty hour intervals so I can take off five days next week if I can work six days this week.  So taking off Tuesday is out.  Working ten hour days is in.

It's a no-brainer.  As enjoyable as a day as Meg is, I just had one, I'll have dinner with a girlfriend, and I'll get to spend a few days fishing and being with my family.

If any gurls are up in that area and want to get together (alas, I'll not be Meg that week) let me know.

So I have a new schedule.

Monday: Closets Are for Clothes

So I spent last night organising tops.  Tops are slower going than skirts.  To try on skirts, I just need a cinch and time.  I tried on about two dozen skirts in about 45 minutes.  That's all of the skirts I have on hangers.  I have many more in boxes but I didn't get to them yet.  One type of clothes at a time.  I mean, I'd rather have some dresses, skirts, tops logged than only skirts and no idea what to wear with the one I like.  Right? 

For tops, I need a cinch and bra with pads.  So just getting started takes longer.  Then instead of pull on/pull off there are buttons or snaps or ties or sleeve buttons or any combination you can think of.  I tried about fifteen in over an hour.  A couple went into the swap bag.

Dresses, you're next!  Then camisoles. 

I tried on the skirt and shoes I picked up at the swap.  Yes, I'll write about the swap before I go away next week.  And I'll be posting from the cape.  I also had an excellent idea: photo inventory of Meg's clothes.  I need to figure out a good place to lay out or hang up the clothes so I can see the length of skirts and sleeves and I can take pictures of everything in my closet.  (Or I could just wear each.  Duh.)  What I do now is, I dig through the closet and say "I didn't remember I have this!  And it still has tags on it!" and then I wear something else that I was looking for and the new clothes gets sad and lonely.  Or I start trying to match the new item and get way behind schedule.  Yes, it's fun, but my time is often tight.  It would be better to see a montage of skirts, pick what I want, regardless of where I am, or who's around.

And now I know what I'm going to wear to dinner: my black and white dress.  Or maybe a purple fitted top and black tiered skirt.  Or a  black flower design long sleeve top and different black skirt.  Or a salmon cap-sleeve shell and a long multi-coloured skirt with my new gold jewelry and those tangerine wedges.  Or one of my block print dresses.  OK, I am NOT going to wear my long purple pleated skirt.  Well, maybe if I pair it with....

Vanessa!  I may be late! :D
 

Tuesday: Girls' Night Out

I'll be meeting Vanessa tonight for dinner.  Vanessa is far more out than I am.  Dana, the girl I had dinner with in Colorado, is far more out than I am.  I think I'm trailing the field.

Wednesday: Once More Nothing

But a day and a night out over the course of a few days is better than most months!  AND my clothes are more organised.  And I *did* wear a skirt and blouse when I got home on Monday.  Of course.

Please take the poll.  Details are in my introductory post.  I'll have dating poll results soon.  And notes from the clothing swap.  So far, it looks like I'll need to think about a questionnaire, how to distribute it, how to collect reponses, what they mean....  I may need to work with a pro on this.

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