Still On That Path

I've mentioned the path from I care to I don't care before.  I'm looking to make a leap along that path, but I'm not there yet.

I have decided I really like ballet flats.  They look comfortable, and cute, and there are lots of variations on the basic style: bows, colours, patterns....  I found a few pair in my size in Payless and was tempted but I didn't buy any.

Here's what I want to do.

I want to buy a basic, plainish pair and wear them for my next flight.  I'm tired of unlacing sneakers, taking them off, putting them back on, lacing them back up.  Any sort of loafer would be OK, but my only "nice" loafers are heavier and I don't want to carry them on my trip.  And even though they're Aerosoles,  they're still a bit uncomfortable for a long flight.

But the ballet flats are clearly women's shoes, no matter how plain or basic black they are.  Plus, I need to take valuable luggage space for my sneakers which are large and bulky.  I could carry the sneakers on and change on the flight and just wear the flats through security, but I don't want to carry them.  And what if my luggage is somehow lost or misdirected?  Here I am with only ballet flats, either to wear home or to my customer.

So there are lots of reasons not to do it, even though I'd like to wear them.  I think one day I will, even though the reasons will still exist.  I think the real reason is, I still care what others think.  I'm still afraid I'll run into someone I know at the airport.

But here's what I'd like to do: in Tucson, as Meg, go to a shoe store.  Buy plainish black ballet flats.  Wear them home.

I don't think I'll do it, but I'll let you know in a few days.


On my way in yesterday, I did stop at a Payless in Tucson.  They had patent flats for $17 and a clothier material flats with a sort of flower at the front (I really can't describe it so I have pictures of both here instead.  Click to enlarge) for $10, both in my size.  I didn't buy either but I may go back on Saturday.

One more thing: I received a comment from an anonymous reader about someone named Srila.  E-mail me and tell me more.  If it's relevant, I'll post.

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Toenail Recall

I know, I've had better titles.  The poll is still open and I'm intrigued.  Look here if you want a bit of background and please vote.

Like Stana, I'm having a toe problem.  Unlike Stana, I need to have a little procedure done to solve mine. 

That's today.  I leave work a bit early and I'll have part of the ingrowing big toenail on my right foot removed.

Mostly, it doesn't cause me any problems, although sometimes it feels like the nail is a knife, slowly cutting into my toe.  But it causes dress-up problems, and that's important.

When in drab, I wear a mix of boy and girl shoes.  I have two pairs of New Balance I wear almost all the time: gray men's shoes, black women's ones.  My dress shoes are from Aerosoles.  I have girls' sandals, although they're irrelevant here.  Huh.  I guess I have a few pairs of girl shoes and one boy.  I should get rid of those, just for consistency.

And, of course, I have Way Too Many pairs of pumps, boots, etc.

One commonality among the shoes, men's vs women's, is women's shoes are flatter.  I'm not sure what the cobbler's technical name for this is.  The part above the toes on women's shoes is lower than the part above the toes on men's shoes.  This means they press down on that ingrowing toenail more.

This translates into me walking funny after not-too-long in some of my favourite shoes.

I'm hoping this will solve the problem for at least a number of years and I'll be ready for my next trip out (October, in Arizona).  Meantime, I may be working from home tomorrow.

Or I may be wearing my girl sandals to the office.

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Styles Change...

...and they change way too fast too!  You noticed it, I'm sure.  Guys don't care too much.  Their styles change slowly and they're never wedded to a particular product.  But we've all heard (or said) the common female style complaint: "I can't find my favourite lipstick/perfume/hose" or some other consumable.  Crossdressers notice it too....  We work hard to find the right foundation and then they discontinue it or change its name and the search is on once again.

But that's not what this post is about.

I wanted to put up a page with different women's clothes that I like and wear that can pass for men's clothes, but styles change so quickly that I can't find any of the items I bought, even if it was just a few weeks ago.  My no-iron button-down shirts are no longer available.  My comfy Aerosole dress shoes are long gone.  Even some of my favourite undies had different style names/numbers now.

I regularly wear tank tops under shirts.  They're fine, even under thinner shirts.

Usually I wear something like this.  Jockey often has 25% off sales and that's when I buy.  [You know why I'm linking to Amazon instead of Macy's, which has them on sale Right Now ~ if you follow that first link and buy anything from Amazon, I get a farthing and you get my (anonymous and blogwide) thanks.  And if I ever tell my wife about the blog, I can tell her it's helping to put our kids through college :) .]

But the other day, I wore a new (alas, male) shirt that has a heavier fabric so I went with something similar to this instead.  The one I wore had more of a design to the fabric (it's hard to describe) instead of ribs.  It was from Esprit, but, as I said, styles change and Esprit's website has nothing even remotely close to what I own.  It does have the lace around the neck.  The shirt and tank were both pink.  I'm sure it was fine.

The following day, I wore a grey (women's) button-down shirt and a grey (Esprit) tank underneath.

Not me :(

Now, with the cooler weather, I'm changing my casual Friday polo shirts (mostly women's ~ look for longer sleeves instead of cap sleeves) for denim shirts.  I have one women's denim shirt; I'm looking for more but so far without success.  I know I found this one in Sears, and I wish I bought two or three!

Under a denim shirt, I can wear something like this and not worry about straps or little strap adjusters or the general shape and lace showing through.  And yesterday, I wore something almost identical to that (in beige).  I'm always tempted to open One More Button, just to see if anyone says anything.  I don't give in to that particular temptation.

I also finally remembered to bring a lip balm into the office.  I like the "Softlips" but I haven't seen them in the stores lately.  (Hey!!  Amazon has them ;) ).The one I just wore down at work is "Mint Delight" and I don't even see that on the website!  I know I have Vanilla at my bedside.  A few years ago, I was in my manager's office and she had a lip balm that had a bit of a gloss.  I was using the same one (I forget the brand now) and I really wanted to say "I use that!" but she didn't know then and I kept my (slightly) glossy lips closed.

The lip balm I brought in was from Nivea.  In the past, I've bought the "Kiss of Recovery" or the "Kiss of Smoothness" but this time I picked up "A Kiss of Shimmer."  I was surprised at the colour (a deep peach), so I decided I had better try it on in front of a mirror, in case there's a bit too much shimmer.  The result: hardly any.  There's a bit of aroma, but not much shimmer.  Too bad.  I was ready for that.

Just one more thing while I'm talking about women's products....  Do you think "A Kiss of Shimmer" would sell if it was targetted to men?  Or "I Can't Believe It's A Girdle"?  Or "Soft & Beautiful Just For Me Hair Milk Shampoo"?  Guys buy "Shampoo".

I'm still hoping to alert you to items that I buy that are passable, but it's going to have to be quick hits: I found this, if you want it, here's the style number and where I got it.  Buy it now or look in the discount stores next week.

Oh.... I don't really recommend "A Kiss of Shimmer."  I'd like something a bit creamier.  I like the Softlips.

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No-one Notices ~ Try It Yourself and See!

Well, maybe the pink ones get noticed.


These are the socks I normally wear, except when I must wear dress shoes. My dress shoes are Aerosoles and a bit snug so I wear black trouser socks. I work with law enforcement, intelligence, homeland security and these are still my socks of choice.


A good place to find larger socks: dollar stores. I think they don't sell well in regular outlets so they end up there. But I've shopped the major department stores plus Marshalls (usually without luck), Burlington Coat Factory, Syms, factory outlets, and other shops. Even if all I can find are the "normal" sizes, many socks are stretchy and they fit and feel fine. I think women's socks don't last as long as men's; I'm not sure why.


It's nice to look down and see a little reminder of my feminine life.

As always, click on a picture to enlarge it.


ps to Shelby the Gap lady: please drop me a note!