20 November was both the Transgender Day of Remembrance and somewhat cold. I wore the same
The service began at 7:30, which is an inconvenient time for Meg. It means I either have to eat early and spend my normal dinner hour dressing or dress early and prepare food and eat dressed (and carefully). So... we went for the third option and dressed earlyish and ate out.
The Northern Virginia TDoR was in Oakton, west of where I live. It's not far ~ maybe a dozen miles ~ but it's in the direction of People Heading Home. There are multiple ways west, and all share the virtue of being clogged at that time. Even though I expected it to be a mess, I opted for the road with the fewest lights. I was not disappointed. It was indeed a mess.
We stopped at a Chinese restaurant about a mile from the event and had a nice dinner coupled with an interesting observation.
We were treated as any other women out to eat. I've come to expect that and, again, I was not disappointed. But when the waiter first came over he asked if we wanted something to drink and if we wanted to be on one cheque or two.
Hmmm.... I've been out in male mode with women (and t-girls) many times and have never been asked if we wanted separate cheques. The only reason he would have to ask is, often two women (or two guys) sit down together but want to pay separately.
That's maybe better than being "ma'am'd!"
Dinner was fine although a bit rushed; traffic put us a bit behind schedule but we got to the church in plenty of time.
I agree about the separate checks issue.
ReplyDeleteBack in the days, when I was more recognizable as male, and out with my wife, I was always given the check. Without any inquiry or doubt.
Nowadays, with my ambiguous gender, we often hear "Would you ladies like one, or separate, checks?" Even when I wouldn't consider myself dressed. And those few times when nothing is said, the servers put the check in the middle of the table....to let the girls decide how to pay.
Yes, it's a bit more telling than just hearing "Ma'am."
Mandy