Wednesday, November 14, 2012

What's Really Next? I Really Don't Know

I'll be going out.  I want Meg to do some mainstream things.  I hope to join some meetups or other non-t groups.  I plan to take an adult-ed class.  Fairfax county has a very robust adult-ed program, with lots of opportunities.  I need to find my comfort level so I know what to exceed.

I want to meet more transisters.  OK, that needs a different name.  But I don't want to go to "trans only" events, although I might.

I plan to do little things to make Meg more a part of my life.  I like my painted toes, and I think I'll keep the clear fingernail polish.  I may trim my brows a bit more.  I'm considering piercing my ears, but punctures make me squeamish and I'd spend too much on jewelry ~ even the costume stuff adds up.  I plan to keep the lipstick/gloss on and see what else I can add.  I may make my charm bracelet a little more femme.  I've mentioned that I want to replace my canvas bag that I carry to work with some sort of tote.  I'm just looking for the right one.  Maybe I'll get laser or electrolysis.

I'd love to find out about outreach.  Stana goes to universities and shares her story and answers questions.  I'd love to do that.  I've always been opinionated but never an activist or even an advocate.  Maybe that's something I should investigate.  I had a window of opportunity on this: my state representative, state senator, and congressman all know me by sight and name and we get along.  I might be willing to come out to push my issues.  I don't expect them to push trans issues here in Virginia, but they might have contacts, or people who'd like to contact me.  But once these people are no longer in office, that opportunity window shuts.

What else?  How much of the above will I do?  Those are other questions I don't know the answer to.  My life is officially in turmoil.  I'm not good at predicting what will happen next, especially under that cloud.

I do know two things: this will remain a part-time thing for me.  And Aeify will be Meg's friend and maybe be a big sister, helping her little sister learn to be a better girl.

At least I think I know those two things.


  1. Meg -

    Mainstream events - Good for you! I hope to get to that level myself soon. But don't neglect a trans event, as many trans people need to meet those like you for positive examples. "Outreach" is something that is done both outside and inside our community.

    Aeify will be a great friend and big sister to you - and that's exactly what you will need. (And since you have my number, you can always give me a call.... what are trans-sisters for?)


  2. your thoughts on the nail polish is exactly what i do. actually i use a pale pink with a clear coat on the finger nails and lovely shades of ether red or this past month even orange with a design on the toenails.
    i shape and trim my eyebrows and have even worn a light amount of makeup even as my male self!
    2 years ago i got my ears pierced and have worn small pink safires most of the time in male mode. when i did it though i should have used alcohol and not the mall stores "cleansing solution" from where i got the ears pierced. as i ended up back at the ear dr. ( whom i asked to pierce them but he said the mall would be cheaper!)due to a small earlobe infection at week 4 of healing! he wears and earing and and one of his associates showed me his pierced ears as well!
    i must say though nothing has made me feel more effeminate than wearing dangley pretty pierced earings. it has also helped me "open up" to some of my male friends about being transgendered. so i say go for it while you are healthy.
    interestingly enough i have a transgendered cousin in the southern end of Virgina who just completed her transition last year. in her 50's she doesn't have a computer so had to find all the Dr's the hard way.

  3. ps go with electrolysis this advice came from a person who wrote the book on the subject. he said in one of our chats at a local store that he checked out laser and found it didn't last as well as the electrolysis. by the time i met him he was retired without anything to gain from telling me the info.

  4. From having read the flow of your blog over the past week or so (yes, got back to the beginning), I'd have to say that you've come a long way, and with a good degree of circumspection. Meg clearly needs to be Meg out more in the real world, but not necessarily full time. To do that, you need to do things that make it easier for you to change clothes after work, so you can live as Meg for most of your non-working life, while maintaining the ability to be the guy when family and other occasions dictate. I'd recommend the ear piercing. Michael Jordan can wear pierced earrings, we sure can. I've had them since 1996.

    You might also try a bit of laser. Takes time, isn't cheap, but will make getting ready easier in either mode, and likely few will notice in your guy life.

    Definitely get involved in some regular public interactions as Meg. I would also recommend taking your present living a bit further. When you get up on your day off, if you're having a "home" day, go ahead and put your face on, along with the skirt and top. If you have errands to run (grocery, drugstore, walmart, etc), let Meg do it. Heck with what the neighbors think. When you don't have to be a guy, be Meg the rest of the time, or at least as much as is practical.

    It's been tough times for you lately, keep your chin up, you have many friends.

  5. Marian ~ we'll meet again. Maybe in New York. I still want to make that trip!

    Diana ~ as soon as my life stabilises a bit I'll look into electrolysis and maybe following your lead. I think I need to walk down the path to "I don't care" a bit further.

    And ANNIE! Welcome! I LOVE the way you think. And thank you for reading ~ your stamina is WAY above mine. :D

  6. If I may be so forward as to chime in on the topic of Laser vs Electrolysis:

    About 8 years ago, I did an evaluation, tried electrolysis and my skin reacted badly...maybe operator failure, but that tipped the scale in favor of laser on my arms, legs, back and chest. My starting point was a "tropical rain forest" of mostly dark hair, pretty much everywhere.

    Memory serving me correctly, I had 3 sessions on my back, 2 on my chest, 4 on my arms and hands, 1 on my armpits and 3 on my legs and feet, over a year's period. I usually had "too much done at once," making it a horribly long day, to shorten the time frame.

    Yes, they recommended electrolysis for my face - too much gray in my beard for laser to work. And the gray is much worse nowadays! Can't recall the cost of any of this, but as you might imagine, it wasn't cheap.

    All these years later, the laser report card is still pretty good.

    My hands are hairless, as are my feet and ankles.

    There are a bunch of fine hairs on my arms (mostly gray now) which get epilated about once a month (painlessly, since I've done it for so long). I still have a few ugly black ones that pop out periodically, and then disappear quickly by tweezer. The elbows were painful to laser, and they didn't turn out as well. They get dry-shaved whenever I feel stubble. I've been in the nail salon getting a French Acrylic fill and pedi in silver. Ended up being included in discussions with the GG's about laser. After I gave them permission to touch my arms and legs (I was in a sleeveless blouse and Capri's), they were impressed with how smooth they are, even a couple days after epilating.

    My armpits now have only very fine gray hair, and I shave them once about every 4 days in the summer, when I wear sleeveless tops. The rest of the time, I shave every 2 - 3 weeks. Epilating is just too brutal.

    My chest has some hair, and I shave it in visible collar/neckline areas when I wear low neckline blouses. Shaving twice a year (spring and midsummer) keeps chest hair under control.

    My Back has much less hair than my chest, and since I don't wear anything backless, it doesn't get shaved. If I ever end up in a strapless evening gown, I'll have to get my back waxed.

    Legs have a bit more gray hair than my arms, but now that I have to wear pantyhose (doctor's orders - and they hide hair from view) I only have to epilate every 1 - 2 weeks.

    If I end up transitioning (may or may not ever happen) I'll probably toughen up and get electrolysis done on my face, now that I have the time...just wish the money was as available!

    My ears have never been pierced...I, too, get squeamish where needles are involved. But I sure like the feeling of dangly clip-ons! Maybe some day...when I end up in dresses!

    Hope you don't mind my sharing...




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